That's because The Onion
and the Daily Show are both put out by a secret Black Project organization that doesn't exist on paper anywhere. Once you realize Jon Stewart is a 33rd-level Mason, anyone sees the obvious connection to the Skull and Bones Society and their control of the media. The information they have is
supposedly the writings of Nostradamus that have been unraveled using The Bible Code, but of course, we all know that's a lot of bull. That's just a red herring to throw off conspiracy wackos and people who still think JFK and Elvis were
Homo Sapiens!.
The Onion symbolizes the radio frequency signature of Tesla's "Black Box" weapon, it's so obvious. Anyone who recognizes that also would know where Tesla got the ideas for his design: the Scroll of the --------. (There's no point in mentioning them by name, besides, I'd have to rip out your tongue and make you gargle with salmon eggs and pop-rocks for you to pronounce it correctly.) Anyway, the scroll is The Key. By making it sound like comedy, they can disguise the truth in plain sight, so all those who know The Signs can be updated everywhere at once, as long as they're drinking fluoridated water (essential to descendants of Atlantis). Didn't you watch Men In Black? That was the First Sign! Everything else just naturally followed.
If you don't believe me, look for yourself. The
Nazca lines in Peru, Leonardo DaVinci's
rock formations in "The Holy Family", Stonehenge's missing stones and the distribution of cobalt deposits on Earth all prove it--and if you need me to explain that, then I just feel sorry for you--you'll never be able to grasp what it all means. There's no point trying to explain. Only an idiot would try to explain to sheep.
Let me explain... An ancient source of prescient knowledge was discovered in a deep network of tunnels under Switzerland by Hasidic Jews (present-day Atlantians, in case you STILL don't get it) hiding from the Nazis (descendants of the Sons of Cain, who were slaves of the reptiloids). The Hasidim eventually brought the scroll back to Communist Russia, to make the ink visible using oil from the Tunguska Crater. That's where Tesla was doing his molecular vibrational experiments at the time, so he realized they were there for the same reason. He was able to get close to it using his radio-wave modulator to bend light, making him invisible. Anyway, Tesla had to die once he saw the scroll; he wasn't of the Tribe of Levi, and so Edison (a 33rd-level Mason and a Skull) made sure he didn't leave America once he got there. But that's all been substantiated; anyone who wants the truth can find that out.
What's really interesting is that the tunnels turned out to be the Underground Railroad used in about 25,000 BC by the Gnomes of Zurich, who would travel them to escape from their reptiloid overlords, and reach the sanctuary of Atlantis, in the Mediterranean. That's why submarines can barely operate in the Mediterranean, and why ancient Greeks always avoided The Scylla and Charybdis--makes sense, right? The tunnels were enlarged since the establishment of the State of Israel by the Zionists, of course.
Now they reach from Israel to all the "10 heads of The Beast", the nations that were founded by the Roman Empire, so they could sneak-attack their enemies in the Armageddon. Of course, the UN found out and started using Scalar Warfare to cause earthquakes and severe weather--unfortunately, it also caused microrifts in the molecular dipoles of some of the 5th, 6th and 7th period elements in series 6-14. The destabilization will likely have a cascading effect which can only end in the Earth's magnetosphere reversing poles and subsequent severe anomalous precession (hello, Pleistocene 2!), or causes the tonal dampening of superstrings, and a return to pre-Big Bang aether.
Either way, you won't have to respond to another post by Mentholated, I got here first. Oh look. I have 665 posts.
