A little Well Timed Comic Relief!

[loyalguard]

I had a horrible day at work yesterday and was in quite a bad mood when I got home. I checked the mail and my wife and I received two pieces of correspondence (snail mail, not e-mail) that made me LMAO and make it quite a pleasant evening afterall. I thought I might share them here. Names has been changed to protect the...uh...innocent:

Number 1 - This is a letter I received from a brokerage company where I recently requested to open an account. Can you find the irony in this letter (re-typed verbatim except names and other personal details)?

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May 1, 2006

Mr. Loyal Guard
123 Main St
Anytown, US 01234

Dear Mr. Guard:

We recently received your request to establish your new ABC Brokerage Services account; however additional information is required before we can complete your request.

In order for us to establish your account we require your address.

Please contact us at 1-800-555-1212 between 8:00 am and 8:00 pm (EST). Our associates will be pleased to assist you.

Please note: If you do not contact us we will not be able to complete your request. Thank you for choosing ABC Brokerage Services.

Sincerly,

Ima Dunce
ABC Brokerage Services

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Of course! If you don't have my address why not send a letter to my address to ask me for my address? I called them right after I got the letter. It was quite entertaining listening to the customer service rep try to explain the origin of the letter. He said the person that sent it was "new". Here's the second one:


Number 2 - This is a letter my wife received from another service she uses.

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April 28, 2006

Dear Ms. Guard-

We want to thank you for choosing to receive online statements and account updates. Now you will be able to instantly view your account activity and avoid receiving monthly paper statements in the mail. If you would like to revert back to monthly paper statements please contact customer service. Thank you for choosing XYZ Company.

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Hmmm, if she didn't want paper statements why would she want a paper notice telling her that she doesn't want paper statements?

Anyway, I chuckled hard after reading both of them back-to-back. Anyone else receive mail like this?

[.143 Beth©]

Originally Posted by loyalguard

Anyone else receive mail like this?

My girlfriend, Beth, commonly receives mail beginning, Dear Deth.
Since I moved into my Apartment, I unwillingly get a magazine called GENRE, click the title to see what the magazine is about.

[matt_g_geier]

If you can imagine. My name gets addressed incorrectly all the time. Here are ways I get my mail, vary rarely it's "Geier" like it should be.

Gier, Gyer, Gyier, Geyier ...

If you can come up with other combinations - I've probably seen them.

[Steeler]

Somehow I ended up on a mailing list for new mothers. So I constantly get mailers for things like breastfeeding tips, Gerber, and the cord blood bank. I've been congratulated on my new bundle of joy at least 6 times in the last 3 months. At some point you'd think they'd figure it ain't new anymore.

[Buck Fush]

We get a snail mail from Directv (I believe, but my wife would know for sure.) that lets us know when our bill is ready for viewing online.

On a similar note, I took a picture of one of my old roommates coming out of the john one morning with nothing on but tighty whities and his hair standing up. That was about 12 years ago and every year on his birthday I send him a postcard of it. Bet his mail-person loves that.

[Adrielle]

Originally Posted by Buck Fush

On a similar note, I took a picture of one of my old roommates coming out of the john one morning with nothing on but tighty whities and his hair standing up. That was about 12 years ago and every year on his birthday I send him a postcard of it. Bet his mail-person loves that.

That's awesome.



I get mail for pageants and stuff. Advertising new pageants in my area, etc. and how to sign up for them. Funny thing is, last time I was in a pageant, ... I was 4. I've moved 2,000 miles away from where I was in my last pageant. How do you stay on a mailing list for 17 years?

[leejo]

Originally Posted by Steeler

Somehow I ended up on a mailing list for new mothers. So I constantly get mailers for things like breastfeeding tips

They must be reading your posts in the sandbox BA ZING!!!!

[ScratchMonkey]

A friend got phone calls from male callers asking for "Lawanna". After awhile a correlation with ships' arrivals became apparent. Finally he told a caller that she had died and her doctor wanted to get in touch with anyone she'd been with. The calls dried up immediately.