New Purina Diet

**P8riot** · 12-08-2006, 10:49 AM

I was in Wal-Mart buying a large bag of Purina for my dog- and was in line to check out. A woman behind me asked if I had a dog...... Duh!

I was feeling a bit crabby so on impulse, I told her no, I was starting
The Purina Diet again, although I probably shouldn't because I'd ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care unit with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IV's in both arms.

Her eyes about bugged out of her head.

I went on and on with the bogus diet story and she was totally buying it. I told her that it was an easy, inexpensive diet and that the way it works is to load your pockets or purse with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The package said the food is nutritionally complete so I was going to try it again.

I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was by now enthralled with my story, particularly a tall guy behind her.

Horrified, she asked if something in the dog food had poisoned me and was that why I ended up in the hospital.

I said no.....I'd been sitting in the street licking my butt when a car hit me.

I thought the tall guy was going to have to be carried out the door.

**Dick Blonov** · 12-08-2006, 11:37 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by P8riot

I said no.....I'd been sitting in the street licking my butt when a car hit me.

I thought the tall guy was going to have to be carried out the door.

DB

**WhiskeySix** · 12-08-2006, 01:34 PM

BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA <sniffle> aaahheheehrhrhrehhehr

ROFL!!!!

(reminds me of The Monkey Chow Diaries - the video's are hillarious)

Boot · 12-08-2006, 07:34 PM

Hahaha! Nice! I love the surprise endings.

BTW, This better be a true story or I'm taking the +rep back!

freekyE · 12-10-2006, 10:38 PM

icky · 12-10-2006, 10:53 PM

HAHAHAH!!! I feel like I've heard that somewhere before though....

Calvin · 12-12-2006, 10:36 AM

**Quest Shady** · 12-12-2006, 04:30 PM

LOL That is Hilarious…Reminds me of a time when I was bagging groceries along time ago at a commissary far away…This lady comes through the line with her son and I am bagging all of her groceries and I see some dog biscuits. Being a dog lover I politely asked what type of dog she had. She looked at me and replied that she didn’t have a dog…I looked down at the dog biscuits in my hand and said …”Ummm Maam you do know you are buying DOG BISCUITS.”

She said she knew and that it was a snack for her son….Seeing the look of disbelief on my face she took the box of DOG BISCUITS from me, opened it up and handed one to her son. The son without a blink just started chewing on it… She then told me that the dog biscuits had more vitamins then most human food.

With that I said thank you bagged the biscuits and almost pet her son on the way out….LOL!

For some reason my daughter will not eat a dog biscuit even though I explained to her the beneficial Vitamins within…Some kids these days…

**Rincewind** · 12-12-2006, 07:09 PM

Good one, but not original

**Wimpinator** · 12-12-2006, 10:28 PM

Oh man how did I miss this thread earlier?

12-08-2006, 10:49 AM	#1 (permalink)
P8riot Join Date: Oct 2005 Location: Bradenton, FL Age: 37 Posts: 2,638	New Purina Diet I was in Wal-Mart buying a large bag of Purina for my dog- and was in line to check out. A woman behind me asked if I had a dog...... Duh! I was feeling a bit crabby so on impulse, I told her no, I was starting The Purina Diet again, although I probably shouldn't because I'd ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care unit with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IV's in both arms. Her eyes about bugged out of her head. I went on and on with the bogus diet story and she was totally buying it. I told her that it was an easy, inexpensive diet and that the way it works is to load your pockets or purse with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The package said the food is nutritionally complete so I was going to try it again. I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was by now enthralled with my story, particularly a tall guy behind her. Horrified, she asked if something in the dog food had poisoned me and was that why I ended up in the hospital. I said no.....I'd been sitting in the street licking my butt when a car hit me. I thought the tall guy was going to have to be carried out the door. __________________ Dungeons and Dragons Online; Thorgaard, Thaumiel and Mahblung EVE Online Captain Thorgaard OHern; skipper of the Battlecruiser "Jane Says.." Pirates of the Burning Sea; Pirate Thorgaard O'Hern Age of Conan Cimmeria; Tharashk, Thaumiel, guild Ars Tactika

12-08-2006, 01:34 PM	#3 (permalink)
WhiskeySix Join Date: Oct 2005 Location: Gillette Stadium, Section 309, Row 12, Seat 24 Age: 33 Posts: 8,008	Re: New Purina Diet BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA <sniffle> aaahheheehrhrhrehhehr ROFL!!!! (reminds me of The Monkey Chow Diaries - the video's are hillarious) __________________

12-08-2006, 07:34 PM	#4 (permalink)
Boot Join Date: Aug 2005 Location: Wisconsin, USA Age: 37 Posts: 1,412	Re: New Purina Diet Hahaha! Nice! I love the surprise endings. BTW, This better be a true story or I'm taking the +rep back! __________________ Boot. In Soviet Russia, TV watches YOU.

12-10-2006, 10:38 PM	#5 (permalink)
freekyE Join Date: Aug 2005 Location: indiana Posts: 1,000	Re: New Purina Diet Lol!

12-10-2006, 10:53 PM	#6 (permalink)
icky Join Date: Jul 2005 Location: Ottawa Valley Posts: 6,154	Re: New Purina Diet HAHAHAH!!! I feel like I've heard that somewhere before though.... __________________ Peace through fear... since 1947!

12-12-2006, 10:36 AM	#7 (permalink)
Calvin Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: Washington, D.C. Age: 22 Posts: 494	Re: New Purina Diet __________________ \|TG-33rd\|Calvin

12-12-2006, 04:30 PM	#8 (permalink)
Quest Shady Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: Brandon, FL Age: 37 Posts: 795	Re: New Purina Diet LOL That is Hilarious…Reminds me of a time when I was bagging groceries along time ago at a commissary far away…This lady comes through the line with her son and I am bagging all of her groceries and I see some dog biscuits. Being a dog lover I politely asked what type of dog she had. She looked at me and replied that she didn’t have a dog…I looked down at the dog biscuits in my hand and said …”Ummm Maam you do know you are buying DOG BISCUITS.” She said she knew and that it was a snack for her son….Seeing the look of disbelief on my face she took the box of DOG BISCUITS from me, opened it up and handed one to her son. The son without a blink just started chewing on it… She then told me that the dog biscuits had more vitamins then most human food. With that I said thank you bagged the biscuits and almost pet her son on the way out….LOL! For some reason my daughter will not eat a dog biscuit even though I explained to her the beneficial Vitamins within…Some kids these days… __________________ TG CS:S SOPs \|TG CS:S Admins \| SUPPORTING MEMBERSHIPS Health and Wellness are not accidents. Take Action Now!

12-12-2006, 07:09 PM	#9 (permalink)
Rincewind Join Date: May 2005 Location: Casting useless spells in Oklahoma. Age: 27 Posts: 2,738	Re: New Purina Diet Good one, but not original __________________ ~~ Veritas simplex oratio est ~~ No matter how far a wizard goes, he will always come back for his hat. --T. Pratchett <---- You know you're getting old when you rely on your forum meta-data to remind you how old you are. Required Reading for all TG sandboxers

12-12-2006, 10:28 PM	#10 (permalink)
Wimpinator Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: United states, TN Age: 35 Posts: 2,839	Re: New Purina Diet Oh man how did I miss this thread earlier? __________________ \|TG-6th\|Wimpinator [TGU Staff] BF2 Rules and SOP's\|Teamspeak information\|TG on IRC

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