Polite method for a self-shaping community

[StrikeFear]

There's a rule here at TG (and I'm not about to argue it) about not naming names in posts which aren't named at praise, and not publicly criticizing players within the community.

I am not about to discuss that rule.

However, one of the advantages of public, constructive criticism in a community like ours is that the community is self-shaping, self-regulating, and self-improving. Simply put, one player points out behavior he thinks doesn't match the community standard, and does so publicly, the player gets the priviledge to publicly justify himself, or publicly apologize - both of which are excellent and peaceful ways to bring about conflict resolution. Meanwhile, the community itself gets to have their say, and thus provide a consensus view on the issue, so that it's not just a disagreement between person A and B, but a discussion of community policy/opinion.

In this way, precedents are set, and expected behavior is a known quantity that is refined over time and shaped and changed to match the community which creates it.

...in theory. Naturally, the human element intrudes, and sometimes constructive criticism becomes flames. Yet, if you're gonna make an omelet, you gotta break some eggs. The net effect is still far to the positive. And in a community like TG, you're going to find a MUCH higher ratio of constructive criticism to flames and rants.

To my point...

If I engage in behavior or give evidence of an attitude which you believe is not in-line with TGs written or understood guidelines, I encourage you to:

1. Post your observations of the behavior as constructive criticism
2. According to TG rules, don't mention my name
3. Send me a PM with a link to the thread, saying something like, "This was you, homey. Better read up."

In order to respect your privacy and protect your reputation, my fellow TG-gamer who I respect and enjoy, I will do the same for you. I will make my feedback as constructive and polite as possible, even if experiencing the behvavior frustrated me, and I will explicitly state so - but no one will know to whom I was referring except you.

If I want, when I reply to your public criticism, I can admit it was me. The only downside to this is that if I don't want to, it's hard to choose the words to give a public reply without giving it away.

[Tempus]

This is a great idea Strike, and one that I hope everyone can take value in.

Feedback is important, and this way you can provide the feedback without starting a public fight.

[CingularDuality]

Yes, a fantastic idea, indeed!

[CeeKay]

The writer of this thread, who may or may not be a member, affiliate, or participant of TG, has made a valid point about constructive comments. However, with a high number of regulars vs strays, it would make more sense if one were to say "I hate it when you miss and hit me with your grenade launcher Ensign Johnson". Rather than "I have been hit with a grenade launcher in game, and I don't like that." After all, no one likes to be hit with a grenade launcher. In the name of sensitivity, do we have to depersonalize the forum? If you take a look at the "Get to know your fellow TGers", you will see that most are over 18. If you want to say something like "Man we would have won, but CeeKay was a Team Killing F-Tard", well, can't we all laugh about that, rather than: "The person who shall not be named made it suck for us."


Oh well, maybe all this "I know you, you know me" stuff happens in the private forum.

[CingularDuality]

Originally Posted by CeeKay

If you want to say something like "Man we would have won, but CeeKay was a Team Killing F-Tard", well, can't we all laugh about that, rather than: "The person who shall not be named made it suck for us."

No, and we've already gone over this, thus the creation of this thread.

[Telorn]

Originally Posted by CeeKay

"Man we would have won, but CeeKay was a Team Killing F-Tard", well, can't we all laugh about that, rather than: "The person who shall not be named made it suck for us."

You are better off informing the admins of this issue. I'm no admin, but I would assume they would keep tally of incidents (if you don't you should consider doing so!) that individuals cause. When enough incidents warrant a ban, the individual will be banned.

What reason does it really serve to say how bad your night sucked because of a TKer to us? Just let it be known to the people that can make a difference.

Originally Posted by CeeKay

"I hate it when you miss and hit me with your grenade launcher Ensign Johnson". Rather than "I have been hit with a grenade launcher in game, and I don't like that."

It would depend on what you are trying to get at with this comment. There is absolutely nothing wrong with saying, "Man, Johnson, you kicked my BUTT with that launcher last night! Awesome game!"

But if you are trying to say that you don't like the way Johnson plays..he's a smacktard that uses exploits and cheats and I hate him, then that doesn't belong in a public forum. If you want to vent, keep his name anonymous, as said, and inform the admins of your situation.

You can also send a PM to that individual stating how you did not appreciate the way they play. Copy the admins on it.

I want to say again, I do hope admins keep track of individuals and their instances, especially since we don't name names of culprites for a community to say as a whole, "yeah, that guy does cheat...I saw it." This way, when multiple people submit their issue to different admins about the same individual, they can be credited when each admin makes an entry on that individual's behaviour. And the admins can see how often this guy causes issues. We all have are bad days and I for one wouldn't want to get banned just for 1 mistake 1 night

[Raub]

Wow....I wonder what brought this thread about?

If you have something to say about someone, bring it up in game, or send the guy a PM. No need to air your opinion on a public forum about your perception of someone elses behavior. If it was truly against server rules, send a PM to an admin so they can take appropriate action. If they weren't doing anything against server rules, then maybe you are the one who has a problem with people not behaving in the way that you think they should.

Your title reads "Polite method for a self-shaping community", but your suggestions sound more like "Public method for a community that behaves the way I think it should."

We have admins to handle these circumstances, let them do their job.

Just my 2 cents.

[asch]

I think Strike's point is that while calling someone out in the forums for criticism is frowned upon, that doesn't mean that we as a community cannot discuss the situation w/o using names. By expressing these situations, it makes the rest of the community aware of it and can also allow for constructive communication to shape everyone's thoughts on the subject. Doing this can reduce further similar incidents.

[Raub]

I see your point Asch, really I do. I guess what I'm trying to say is...if the behavior is not against the written server and TG rules, then it's not really a rule, it's a perceived notion of how you should be acting in the game based on someone elses opinions. If the behavior is really disruptive or out of bounds, make it a server rule or a TG rule. Otherwise it's a lot of subjective opinion and the threads will degenerate into a "peeing contest."

[CingularDuality]

Originally Posted by Raub

I see your point Asch, really I do. I guess what I'm trying to say is...if the behavior is not against the written server and TG rules, then it's not really a rule, it's a perceived notion of how you should be acting in the game based on someone elses opinions. If the behavior is really disruptive or out of bounds, make it a server rule or a TG rule. Otherwise it's a lot of subjective opinion and the threads will degenerate into a "peeing contest."

Well, this is a community. A lot of our rules are the result of our community deciding what they like and what they don't like about the limitations of the games we play. Discussion, without personalizing them, is what brings these realizations to light.

Discussion is important. Calling people out, as your signature shows, is not a productive way to have this type of discussion.