The main thing that comes out of your post is your unhappiness with people complaining at you in game. Indeed, I'm sure these complaints had a negative impact on your performance. When seasoned players start questioning your performance it does knock your confidence (especially if they do so in a condescending manner which can be done in the heat of battle), and that leads to more mistakes or unwillingness to do the job, which is a natural reaction.

I would say your commander skills are probably fine, you just need to build up some confidence with them, and be assured that you're doing the right thing. If you are sure you're doing that then failures are as much a fault of your team on the ground as they are yours and no one can legitimately blame you for those failures. Once you recognise that sometimes there's just nothing you can do to stop an enemy push or an enemy squad from obliterating two of yours then I think you'll realise that the performance of your team is not made or broken by your performance.

You were communicating, you cared about your team's performance, you knew what assets were valuable to your mission and you took umbrage to those who looked down on your performance. To me, that makes a fine commander. All that's left is to recognise that your team is not invincible: i.e orders that you give, no matter how important they are, will not always be successful. There are plenty of commanders, seasoned ones as well, who give me orders that would imply they thought my squad was invincible. In reality, they just gave me an order to give 6 tickets to the team for no purpose.

Finally, Fall of Berlin is a bad map to command on in my opinion. Basically the commander's job is limited to stopping any breakthroughs from crossroads. Once a breakthrough occurs, its pretty much downhill from there on EU. Outpost is vulnerable, and as you have no uncap you're liable to be killed which doesn't help.

Keep at it. And welcome to the forums & TG.