![]() |


|
|||||||
| Battlefield 2142 - General Discussion General discussion for Battlefield 2142 |
![]() |
|
|
Thread Tools |
|
|
#1 (permalink) |
|
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Montreal, Canada
Posts: 259
|
In a handy compendium, here is a list of common n00b maneuvers seen throughout the average pub battlefields. A good soldier must be sure to recognize them, laugh at them, and thus avoid them. Truly great soldiers will refer themselves to page 36 of The Alphabet of Manliness.
The Impossible Fire Hose: This is one of those Titan corridor meatgrinders where the n00bs all rush in piecewise in one smooth motion and only requires one Ganz clip. The maneuver often resembles a snake formation in Rainbow Six. The sheer difficulty in suspending one's disbelief as he witnesses the massacre has led to those events being labeled as "impossible". The Event Horizon: When n00bs congregate into such a tight and numerous mass that the act of podding in the center of the group results in the mass collapsing upon itself as they teamkill each other trying to shoot you down. Chocolate Shotgun: This is what happens when an enemy battlewalker suddenly arrives on the premises. n00bs scatter in random directions (not necessarily leading to cover) and often lose bowel control. Ring of Fire: A common occurence when riding in vehicles with a n00b in the gunner seat. Will often shoot everywhere in an arc for no reason and attract unwanted attention from gunships. Great Balls of Fire: When the n00b happens to be in the driver seat and bowls his vehicle into a widely visible field of motion mines. The "I Moved to Hollywood": When the n00bs spend a lot of time and energy in preparation, try really hard, and nothing comes out. See also: Footage of Vertomac getting shanked during a Titan defense operation. ![]() Casper The Friendly Compost: When the n00b finds himself spending more time dead than alive. The Girlfriend: Keeps going, and going, and going... The Survivor: When you think you're safe from the n00b at last, he throws a grenade that ricochets right into your face. This is usually the cause of many teamkills because people often forget to check their backs after moving to a new position. The grenade often wipes out the squad , and you end up having to mop corpses off the floor. The Prison Break: When you've distracted and held the n00bs away for over thirty minutes, and you have to move to the most critical flag, the circumstances will give way to a solid application of Murphy's Law what will exploit a crack in your luck streak, completely decimating your squad in one fell swoop and causing the nearby medics to run away from you as they spot one lone enemy Recon over your corpse with nothing but a pistol.
__________________
GOD IS DEAD. THE N00BS TEAMKILLED HIM.
Last edited by Eroak; 03-30-2008 at 04:52 PM. Reason: Offensive content. |
|
|
|
|
|
#2 (permalink) |
|
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Virginia, USA
Posts: 302
|
Re: The n00b Maneuvers
lol nice. the impossible fire hose: since im a bianchi whore whenever i witness a squad in a straight line i mow them all down in disbelief. lol
__________________
GO MANCHESTER UNITED ALL THE WAY! HAIL CRISTIANO RONALDO in game name= TG Shifty.P 2nd in the US with bianchi lmg for most kills 7th in the world with Bianchi LMG for most kills K/D of 31/1 with bianchi LYra=stop aimbotting shifty |
|
|
|
| Sponsored links | |
|
|
|
|
|
#3 (permalink) |
![]() ![]() Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Vancouver, west coast of Canada
Posts: 935
|
Re: The n00b Maneuvers
Shurikane, I find humiliation to be a poor teacher of both men and boys.
Check your tone, please. We're here to be supportive and to teach people: TG is not a place for mockery. Tactical advice is constructive and encouraged: a side of gloating and negativity along with it is not appreciated. We were all newbies once.
__________________
![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() |
|
|
|
|
|
#4 (permalink) |
|
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Real life.
Age: 36
Posts: 4,209
|
Re: The n00b Maneuvers
While I appreciate the tongue and cheek attempt at humor, I think the overuse of derogatory term n00b here and the general tone of the post is not all that helpful or mature.
Educating our players through insightful and well written posts is a good thing and part of what makes TG great. We are also known to have a decent sense of humor as many posts bring about a good laugh. Your post has some good points that will probably be lost on newer players by insulting them by calling them n00bs. |
|
|
|
|
|
#5 (permalink) | |
![]() Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Mountain Home AFB, ID
Posts: 779
|
Re: The n00b Maneuvers
Quote:
Sure shooting gunships DOES do damage, but it's sometimes prudent to hold your fire. Learning restraint is one thing. Shooting tanks at the edge of your vision with the machine gun just makes me want to hunt you down and smack you with a prybar.
__________________
Last edited by Uranium - 235; 03-28-2008 at 09:40 AM. |
|
|
|
|
|
|
#6 (permalink) |
![]() ![]() Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: New Castle, DE
Age: 40
Posts: 1,686
|
Re: The n00b Maneuvers
Man, do you ever have anything positive to say?!
__________________
"No bastard ever won a war by dying for his country. He won it by making the other poor dumb bastard die for his country." - General George Patton Jr ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() Acknowledge your teammates' Outstanding and Distinguished efforts: Submit a nomination |
|
|
|
| Sponsored links | |
|
|
|
|
|
#8 (permalink) |
|
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: MA
Age: 27
Posts: 431
|
Re: The n00b Maneuvers
I've always been bad at tossing grenades for whatever reason, in any game. I swear those things are made of super-ball grade rubber.
__________________
"I've been working since I was sixteen. I fought two in wars. Hell, I've killed people. I'm not saying that I didn't enjoy it..." -- Red Forman |TG-Irr|RedForman |
|
|
|
|
|
#12 (permalink) | |
![]() Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Mountain Home AFB, ID
Posts: 779
|
Re: The n00b Maneuvers
Quote:
One would think having the 'throw' meter halfway would throw it half as far as a regular throw, right? No! Anything less than about 80% 'throw' will simply throw it 5 feet or less, with expectant results...
__________________
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
#13 (permalink) |
![]() Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Michigan
Age: 20
Posts: 243
|
Re: The n00b Maneuvers
Haha, this is admittedly true as I've done this quite a lot when I first started playing...However, it's up to us to teach these "noobs" the proper play and teamwork that makes this game fun right?
__________________
![]() "Do not touch anything unnecessarily. Beware of pretty girls in dance halls and parks who may be spies,
as well as bicycles, revolvers, uniforms, arms, dead horses, and men lying on roads -- they are not there accidentally." -Soviet infantry manual, issued in the 1930's |
|
|
|
|
|
#14 (permalink) |
![]() Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: The Capital District
Posts: 439
|
Re: The n00b Maneuvers
Sometimes tossing grenades with a VOIP "Sorry, bad grenade", is similar to driving and yelling "FORE" at the same time. I mostly stick to EMPS. They don't TK and earn points.
__________________
|TG-21| Jakaleel SAAW Team ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() -There are some forms of insanity which, driven to an ultimate expression, can become the new models of sanity. --BuSab Manual Ad mortem talem navis et peditis
|
|
|
|
|
|
#15 (permalink) |
![]() Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: New Tazewell, TN
Posts: 2,828
|
Re: The n00b Maneuvers
Its not about earning points. Personally I would rather end up TK'ed instead of accidentally emped and then owned by some other guy taking advantage of us being emped.
__________________
|
|
|
|
| Sponsored links | |
|
|
|
![]() |
| Bookmarks |
| Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests) | |
| Thread Tools | |
|
|

