The First Ever 2142 Scrim Trash Talk Thread

[ThePenguineer]

Welcome One and All!

In celebration of the First 2142 Scrimmage to be held in the Tactical Gamer community, I hereby declare this to be the First Offical Trash Talk Thread for the said scrimmage, which will be held on Saturday, February 17, 2007. As a neutral party in this Battle of the Best, I will extend a hearty "Good Luck and Have Fun" to both teams, and hope that this will only be the first of many more to come.

Now, break out your best Momma jokes, think hard about how to insult each other's intelligence, and secure your masculinity as we let the War of the Words begin!

[ultrablue]

Team B is composed of nothing but skeezers, skig-scags, and scallywhops.

[Lorax74]

Did someone leave the window open, I hear the wind blowing...

[Prophaniti]

Tactical Gamer University
Spring Semester 2007
Master's Thesis
Prophaniti

Bommando & "Typical Gamer Sex Life": A Comparison of Like Attributes

Hypothesis:
Squadding with Bommando is like being constantly reminded why we gamers use online playtime as a libido suppressant.

1. If you've ever had Bommando as your SL, you've heard him whine about how "dead" he is...much like your g/f complains about quality time spent with her. Constant nagging for a revive makes you *grudgingly* give in to her wishes even though you'd rather not have to deal with such a high-maintenance gal.

2. Bom is known for firing off rapid bursts of rockets that end up killing you quickly. The same can be said for his "quality time" in the sack...it's over before you know what hit you.

3. Bom is a control freak...do I even need to compare? Surely you can draw the similarity yourself.

4. Bom is attractive at first...but once you get to know him, it's a coin-toss as to whether or not you are willing to put up with his baggage just to enjoy the perks such a relationship can have.

5. Squadding with Bom makes it easy to score. Playing against him though, leads to a night of a fantasy left unfulfilled. You won't score, you won't get your rock(et)s off, and you'll end up feeling used for your body (as he puts you between him and the enemy).

6. If you don't respond to his "needs" in time (see comparison #1), he's colder than a two-dollar whore's rejection. I researched this topic...for the sake of accuracy ONLY, and found this to be a very accurate comparison. I still feel dejected at being laughed at by that woman on the corner with the huge adam's apple.

7. Finally, Bom likes giving the orders...and just like in real life, the "rules" say that we are obliged to listen to these orders. Some of us don't always listen, or make excuses such as "Sorry commander, I didn't hear you order me to throw my squad into that deathtrap to be meatshields." (Sorry honey, I didn't hear you ask me to take out the trash)


Closing Argument:
I feel sorry for you Alpha team guys...you're in for a world of hurt that will painfully remind you all why you choose to sit at your computer on a Saturday night instead of going out to pick up chicks. I'm sure you'll make do with what you have though...at least until someone more attractive comes along.

[birdie_in_Texas]

ha..!!! nice one..!!

[experiment626]

Ouch!!! Yeah well...well...you suck! SO there! Don't make me use our rubber versus glue argument!

[Pfeil22]

Update from Team Bravo’s Intelligence Department

Our reconnaissance team has struck a vital blow that will surely secure victory!

A crack squad of our finest soldiers recently infiltrated the 7th Infantry’s command post outside of Cerbere Landing and initiated the first in a series of operations that will render this unit useless on the battlefield. Late into the night of 11 February, these courageous men entered the Ranger Rick Barracks and secured highly sensitive material that has provided our team with invaluable intelligence about these so-called rangers. This detailed information was embedded within another document, but our analysts were successful in deciphering the simplistic codes. A copy of this document can be found below and should be reviewed by all soldiers.





Check back soon for more updates on our efforts to ensure victory at Cerbere Landing!

Team Bravo Intelligence

[jepzilla]

I dunno... we could trash talk the 9th but that's kind of like kicking puppies. And they're just so gosh darned cute when they think they can win.

[Prophaniti]

Puppies who get kicked grow up to be vicious...I might end up peeing in your shoe if you don't watch it.

[jepzilla]

[Zoopy]

The 9th's logo is a Sperm whale and a fork...

Kind of makes you wonder what exactly they do to win when they say "By Any Means"

[Prophaniti]

You're full of crap, Zoopy...here's a little something that should clear up your Irregular problem you seem to be having.

[SaladFork]

Prophanti, I really do believe that you made my day there. Thank you, that was pure awesome.

As for trash talking, is it really necessary? It goes without saying, and both teams know, that the 9th will completely dominate. Why waste the breath?

~Salad

[Sir_Brass]

I dunno... we could trash talk the 9th but that's kind of like kicking puppies. And they're just so gosh darned cute when they think they can win.

You apparently don't remember what some "puppies" can do to your house, your love life, and your sanity . If we're puppies, then we're like a 5 month-old black lab-german shepherd puppy.....only ten times worse.

Prepare to have all your shoes chewed to bits.

[Dick Blonov]

You're full of crap, Zoopy...here's a little something that should clear up your Irregular problem you seem to be having.

Although I had to drop out of the scrim, I feel a need to reply to this post.

The one thing you don't want to wish for my friend, is that the Irregulars let loose.

You'll be in «you know what» in no time flat.

Then again, you're well on your way as things stand.



DB