The story of how Zhoey acquired a new assault rifle
by, 05-22-2012 at 03:22 AM (887 Views)
At that very moment, there happen to be four zombies within spitting distance of Zhoey. Walking aimlessly, grunting like mad canines, and eliciting a kind of primal screaming that would set alight pools of adrenaline within a normal human being.
That being said, Zhoey is not a normal human being. Zhoey is a sasquatch, and sasquatches do not roll like that.
Thus, our intrepid hero is flat on his belly, patiently waiting for the zeds to pass before he makes his move.
Right then, as the scorching sun peaks out behind a few low clouds, a single shot rings out in Zelenogorsk. It is a pistol shot, and could it speak, it would speak like a frightened little child, anxiously hoping that its screams will ensure a bubble of warm safety.
Alas, the world of DayZ is cold, unforgiving and it enjoys skinning and slowly gnawing on the flesh of little children.
What follows, about 100m due south of our quiet sasquatch friend, is a series of seven frantic pistol shots, and then the sound of many screams and much running.
This obviously peaks the interest of our neighborhood sasquatch, who runs slowly toward the nearest hill and then faces south. The sight before him is almost from an old-time Tom and Jerry cartoon: a lone fellow booking it up the mountain side, and behind him a dustcloud filled with many feet, hands, and oddly-shaped zombie faces.
The fella turns around, and once again empties a pistol magazine into the unholy mass following him, but this seems to only make their movements more erratic, more frenzied, and generally more blood thirsty.
While he reloads, the clump of zombies catches up to him, and, what follows is a but a handfull of slow-motion moments where he tries heroically defend himself against the heartless horde of liver-chewers. In the end, he succumbs and the last sound that is heard over the disgusting defilation of his corpse is a single futile click of an empty pistol...
On the bright side , that also happens to be how how our friend Zhoey came into the possesion of an AKM assault rifle, an M1911 handgun, a map and a compass, and a brand new backpack. The world of DayZ seems especially tuned to reward sasquatch-sized bastards.