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Old 01-18-2008, 12:58 PM   #16 (permalink)
 
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Re: how do you deal with an abusive student.

Since you are a short-timer Id say just leave it be. Dealing with A-Holes is a part of life and since he is protected IMO it is not worth your time to strikeout at the little ass-hat. If he is half the jerk you make him out to be he will find himself becoming more and more lonley as the years go by. Its easy to be the big man on daddys campus but life is different in the real world and he will pay the price, someday.

I also STRONGLY recomend you do not use any online medium to strike out.

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Old 01-18-2008, 01:20 PM   #17 (permalink)
 
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Re: how do you deal with an abusive student.

I think you should tell the internet about it.




(serious reply: Pretty much what Sarcoma said, though I would take it a step further- he won't find himself lonely, he'll find himself dead or in jail. Regarding passive-aggressive online revenge, it's a last resort, and only accomplishes anything if the person has anything they value on the interwebs. If that were the case, discover /i/. Otherwise, blow it off.)
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Old 01-18-2008, 01:38 PM   #18 (permalink)
 
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Re: how do you deal with an abusive student.

tl;dr the replies.

He requires group discipline. While a savage beatdown is certainly an option, Pappy will probably ruin it because he's already shown he has no parenting skills and should've had his wang confiscated long ago, and thus will probably continue to coddle the toddler.

Ostricisation might be the best route. Get everybody to ignore him no matter what he does. If he has a posse this may be difficult, but starving a troll is always a good way to deal with them.

Note that everybody means everybody. If he rampages to the front of the line, the servers ignore him. They serve the rightful students or simply stop serving. If he takes the bucket of mashed potatos, he can have it, and be reported for theft. If you're good at it, you should be able to sow some paranoia, too. The classic phantom spitball assault, people mucking with his stuff in subtle ways -- make it clear that the body of students is stronger and more pervasive than he is.

The key point: This will either make him have a tantrum, or he'll get the message and start treating people with respect. When he does, you must accept him normally with no regard to the past.
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Old 01-18-2008, 01:41 PM   #19 (permalink)
 
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Re: how do you deal with an abusive student.

Quote:
(serious reply: Pretty much what Sarcoma said, though I would take it a step further- he won't find himself lonely, he'll find himself dead or in jail. Regarding passive-aggressive online revenge, it's a last resort, and only accomplishes anything if the person has anything they value on the interwebs. If that were the case, discover /i/. Otherwise, blow it off.)
Well my comment was more tongue in cheek than anything :P. The guy is obviously a total loser, and will probably only realize it once he's out of high school and on his own (and he will likely change drastically, we can only hope).

Quote:
Most recently, Wednesday, around 11:45 AM EST (the beginning of lunch), this boy checks me into the concrete door jam of the entrance to the school kitchen.
Had the same thing happen to me once except I didn't even see the guy, he just pushed me into a concrete wall, and knocked me out for a few minutes. Later I learned it was him, and I went and confronted him about it and he ended up saying he was sorry! It all worked out well since he was a lot bigger than me and I probably wouldn't last long in a fight. It's amazing how people change once you're out of H.S., he's probably a completely normal guy now.
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Old 01-18-2008, 01:45 PM   #20 (permalink)
 
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Re: how do you deal with an abusive student.

Well, as much as I would recommend you not do anything rash like beat him (as much as this jerk deserves it) or do any cyber-bullying, my old friends and I always gained satisfaction from pulling harmless pranks anonymously. After a while of these minor frustrations, he should hopefully get the point that he is not well liked.

You can do things such as:
lemons in his car's tail-pipe (can cause a satisfying back-fire),
shoe-polish underneath his car's door handles,
connect a wire or alligator clip from his blinker's fuse to his car horn's fuse (causing his horn to honk everytime he uses his blinker),
bubble solution in his a/c intake right below the windshield (so whenever he turns on his defroster it will look like the Lawrence Welks show inside),
use bar soap like Ivory to soap up his windows,
place heavy objects in his backback,
get your friends to pitch in and pay for a year long subscription to the raunchiest gay porn magazine you can find and have it sent to his house and his name,
use a jack to lift his car ever so slightly, place wooden blocks underneath the drive axle, remove jack...it should look like the car is still on ground where he won't notice anything, but it will be raised off ground just a bit...when he puts car in reverse/drive, it won't go anywhere no matter how much he revs his engine. This one causes much frustration. When he gets car towed, the tow guy will instantly see what's going on and laugh at him (theoretically),
the options are limitless AND quite amusing!

Well, I shouldn't SUGGEST you do these things, but the ideas are fun to think about. Reason I say these things is because years ago, I myself was a bit of a jerk and didn't realize it. Not a bully or anything, but completely and utterly tactless. People did some of these very things to ME. I quickly got the point and asked some friends what I was doing that was pissing people off so bad. They came to my house and had a discussion with me that changed my life. I was different after that and life had been much improved. Those are some of my very best friends now. That was eons ago, but I still have some of those friends and we can look back at those events and laugh. Even though I was the victim of a few pranks, I still find it hilarious. (but the magazine subscription idea never was pulled on me...that was my genius idea)
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Old 01-18-2008, 04:46 PM   #21 (permalink)
 
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Re: how do you deal with an abusive student.

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Originally Posted by Tarenth View Post
I think either Al is confused or I am. From what I can understand of the situation you've depicted is that you are a fellow student and not an employee of the father. -.-

I'm just going to run with that assumptions.

Al is right in that there really is no moral dilemma and the problem is really a tactical one in how you should approach your opponent in order to disable, disarm, or destroy them. Me, being an evil person, prefer the later mostly, yet I have been known to settle for the first two when the effort for complete destruction seemed like too much effort.

First step I would take in your position is tell your mother of the situation. Explain everything that has happened to her, give examples of his behavior and the consequences he has received (or lack of), and then make it clear that you either want her assistance or her support in your actions. Never underestimate the power of parental support when it comes to conflicts between students. If she is informed and you keep her up to date then you can receive feedback, ideas, and a more adult presence when it is required. Sadly as a fellow student of the troublemaker you may need to pull that adult support card in order to make yourself heard.

Next step would be to recruit that teacher you mentioned. Since he's already shown a willingness to disciple the problem child you should turn that to your advantage and approach him with a clear plan of action that may solve the problem. I would suggest you start getting documented evidence of the kid's unacceptable behavior and his trends for ammo. What you want to do is investigate the how, why, where, and when he seems to act out so that you can build a profile for the kid. Does he do it in front of supervision without fear of punishment? Is he a physical bully who uses his body? Weapons? Does he resort to what could be considered torture or mental abuse? Does he do it between classes? In class? After or before school? Does he hang out in certain areas and inflict his presence upon other from there or does he make a noted 'patrol' and harass people along his route?

Of course you're not going to get all this information from that one teacher. But that's why you recruited both your mother and him first. There is strength in numbers and while a lowly cook may not want to speak up and risk losing their job, they may be more willing to speak up and give testimony if you have other people backing their story. With a larger base of operation you can convince people it will not be a 'my word vs theirs' situation but a 'here's more evidence of his behavior' situation where anything they say or give you will just be more for the stack and the associated anonymity that will give them. When going up against someone with the power to crush you its better to go into the fight with reinforcements and documents to back it.

Once you've collected your case (making sure to keep everyone you've recruited/asked for help in your campaign informed of your actions and results) then I suggest you present it quietly to the kid's father. Call him and make an appointment or ask to talk to him with your mother present. I suggest your mother because an adult presence that is fully informed and supportive will lend credibility to your case and she is probably the safest adult involved since she isn't an employee of the pastor.

Here's the situation you can build upon.
You are a senior in the same school as the problem kid so you are entitled to a safe and harassment free study environment.
The child in question (his son) is creating a hostile environment that you and others feel uncomfortable in because of the risk of physical injury or harassment.
He is currently running unchecked through the school which sends a message of preferential treatment over other students.

Beyond that you can make your own approach depending on what you build with your case. I like to favor the 'legal' route and getting the law involved as an outside influence you are entitled to bring around against them. You are being harassed and the parents aren't doing anything to curb that behavior. That could be negligence or the aforementioned preferential treatment that makes them unsuitable for positions of responsibility in a learning environment. Of course if you're going to do that then I suggest you seriously do your homework and make an approach towards someone in that field...potentially someone who is a parent of a student who has been harassed. You could also play the 'future' card as mentioned before and that his behavior, if not checked, could lead to complications later in life. The 'social standing' card is also quite powerful depending on the individual since if its being kept private then a full exposure could be quite a scandal for someone in a position of power.

Honestly, just pick a direction you want to go with and you feel comfortable with using and arguing for/against. There are some risks of a backlash if the father is knowingly letting his kid get away with that behavior, but if you're sick of that kid's actions then the risks are worth the possibility of getting it stopped.
I already have record of some of his actions from earlier this year. My parents have been notified. One teacher already knows some of the stuff and that teacher is the coach.

He has done multiple things that blatantly embarrassed the school but they ignored the stuff. See, he would bring porn to school (not as big of a deal at a public school) and he got out of it. Sadly, my friend, the principle's son, did look at porn once at school, so he was forced to go in front of the entire student body and apologize for looking at porn. Another time he kept yelling '****' in front of a student's mother, which the parent told the school. The boy got out of the trouble by the excuse of 'I did not know what it meant- I heard others use it.'

O, I just hate dealing with him because of his erratic, irrational, yet course based system of pointless attacking.

This pattern the child has learned has been present since first grade- he will not give it up.

I doubt he will change.
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Old 01-18-2008, 04:54 PM   #22 (permalink)
 
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Re: how do you deal with an abusive student.

Quote:
Originally Posted by MagnaCentipede View Post
tl;dr the replies.

He requires group discipline. While a savage beatdown is certainly an option, Pappy will probably ruin it because he's already shown he has no parenting skills and should've had his wang confiscated long ago, and thus will probably continue to coddle the toddler.

Ostricisation might be the best route. Get everybody to ignore him no matter what he does. If he has a posse this may be difficult, but starving a troll is always a good way to deal with them.

The thing is, the other two children are very nice people to be with. They are obedient and hard working individuals.

Sadly, I can ignor him, but any group ostricism is impossible because I left the 'in croud' because of their ways...
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Old 01-18-2008, 05:13 PM   #23 (permalink)


 
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Re: how do you deal with an abusive student.

BeSiege, contact the local newspaper/tv news station and give them the story. If the pastor is using his influence to keep his son out of harms way, thats an abuse of power and i'm sure all the parents would LOVE to know about it.
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Old 01-18-2008, 07:18 PM   #24 (permalink)
 
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Re: how do you deal with an abusive student.

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BeSiege, contact the local newspaper/tv news station and give them the story. If the pastor is using his influence to keep his son out of harms way, thats an abuse of power and i'm sure all the parents would LOVE to know about it.
no...
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Old 01-18-2008, 08:10 PM   #25 (permalink)
 
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Re: how do you deal with an abusive student.

My little girl was having some issues with a bully on the school bus a couple of years ago. My wife was against any type of fighting regardless of the situation(I did change her mind to that though). I told my daughter to talk to the bus driver and see if he would handle it, that did not happen. SO, I then told her to talk to her teacher, nothing came from that either. Finally I said talk to the principal, same thing as I expected from all of them, NOTHING. So, the bully gets on and off the bus at the same stop as my daughter, I had a talk with the bully's dad. He said he would speak to him about it. Well, the boy which I will say was suppose to be in 5th grade and my daughter was in 2nd grade was continuing to pick on her. I finally told my daughter to grab the heaviest book she had in her book back(and make sure it was very heavy to do what I had intended) and pretend to be reading it, if he started picking on her again, bash him square in the nose as hard as she can with that book. My wife was mad at me for telling her to do that but I figure if nobody else is going to stand up for my daughter that may have the authority over this boy then it was time for her to take up for herself. After thinking about it for a spell, my wife came back and said she was sorry and that she knows there are times that one needs to defend themselves or maybe even others that can not defend themselves.
She did end up hitting the boy like I told her to, he got off the bus with a bloody nose and crying really hard. His dad came up and asked what was wrong and he told him which then the father started on me, I had told him that if he would have talked to his son or whatever then this might not have happened and I told him I told her to do it since nobody else would talk to him or try to get him to quit.
Well, now the boy stays far from my daughter and she said everybody still makes fun of him cause of that. I told her I knew he would stop picking on her as soon as a girl made a boy which was so much bigger than her, cry and have a bloody nose. Embarrassment was what I was hoping my little girl would give the boy and apparently it worked.
He is still a bully though, just not to her. Oh, and his dad and I talk everyday at the bus stop. He said he would have told his little girl to do the same thing and apologized for not getting onto his son about it(which I did let him know my daughter said he was still bullying other kids around, just not her).

What I am saying is since this boy you are talking about is a pastors son don't expect anything to come from talking to his mother. He probably has it in his head he is going to do what he wants whether or not they want him to. Plus they may not even believe you at all which will make things worse. You may have to take drastic measures to handle it. Sometimes fighting is the only option just try the other options first.

BUT try to just let things slide for a little while longer. You will not have to put up with it forever as mentioned above. Just a few more months.
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Old 01-18-2008, 09:01 PM   #26 (permalink)


 
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Re: how do you deal with an abusive student.

Quote:
Originally Posted by BeSiege82 View Post
He has done multiple things that blatantly embarrassed the school but they ignored the stuff. See, he would bring porn to school (not as big of a deal at a public school) and he got out of it. Sadly, my friend, the principle's son, did look at porn once at school, so he was forced to go in front of the entire student body and apologize for looking at porn. Another time he kept yelling '****' in front of a student's mother, which the parent told the school. The boy got out of the trouble by the excuse of 'I did not know what it meant- I heard others use it.'
Dude, you go to a STRANGE high school...
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Old 01-18-2008, 10:11 PM   #27 (permalink)
 
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Re: how do you deal with an abusive student.

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Originally Posted by Ferris Bueller View Post
BeSiege, contact the local newspaper/tv news station and give them the story. If the pastor is using his influence to keep his son out of harms way, thats an abuse of power and i'm sure all the parents would LOVE to know about it.
Quote:
Originally Posted by BeSiege82 View Post
no...
Well, that is just about the only way you are going to get anything done. You are not going to get anything done at the school because everything will go through the top guy, which happens to be his dad. So, if your not up for going outside of the school then just drop it and move on. Really man, its not as big of deal as you think. This is a very small problem which pales in comparison to the problem you will face in the upcoming years, regardless of whether you attend college or join the workforce. Just deal with it.
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Old 01-18-2008, 10:46 PM   #28 (permalink)
 
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Re: how do you deal with an abusive student.

So far as the OP is concerned, he is about to finish high school. His problem is months away from solving itself, so in due time, it'll be one less thing to worry about.

And for those who seek poetic justice: the kid will get completely destroyed once he enters college and university. He won't be at the local municipal high school anymore - he'll be in a state academy populated by thousands and thousands of students. Unless his father has a ridiculous amount of money to waste in donations, chances are the kid will have to straighten up or get kicked out in a matter of weeks.
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Old 01-18-2008, 11:37 PM   #29 (permalink)
 
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Re: how do you deal with an abusive student.

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Originally Posted by BeSiege82 View Post
See, I have a moral dilemma on how to deal with an 10th grade 'Pastor's Kid' who is violent, intelligent, but down right stupid in common sense- he is like a 3rd grader.*

The part that gets to me the most is that most of the teachers are afraid to give this boy demerits or detentions because his father is the Pastor of the Church that runs the school.
edit: Either you find a (clever) way to have his father (want to) deal with him, or just ignore him. The reason he gets away with it (highlighted), might contribute to his downfall (wink, wink). Then again, his stupidity could be hereditary. Either way, not worth an ulcer.

edit: If you have to deal with this for a few months ride the wave. More so if you have no intention of going for Ferris' suggestion (or in that general direction).

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Old 01-18-2008, 11:59 PM   #30 (permalink)
 
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Re: how do you deal with an abusive student.

Well, thing is, me and my parents have had a discussion about this crap. The outcome has not been decided, but for now I will stay still and record any problems.

See, when I was in kindergarten I hit a 3rd grader square in the jaw when he was bullying me. I found out the repercussions for this was stern, yet he too was unpunished. The guy has grown up and joined the military and through the military he learned how to keep himself from getting out of control- too bad no one at my school tried to help.

My opinion is, that I gather enough info with time, date, and witnesses... if things get worse, I might reveal the records of his behavior.

School stinks and the 11th and 12th graders are from a closed off mountain community- they lack any influences or should I say they have never been exposed to the outside world. I am not from this cursed town but rather from outside Philadelphia.
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