how do you deal with an abusive student. - Page 4

BeSiege82 · 01-31-2008, 12:15 AM

Thank God! He has shut up. I do not know why, but he has shut up and has left me alone- I wonder if a cook said something.

Ski-Racer · 02-05-2008, 02:40 AM

I am glad it worked out. During summer break between college freshman and college sophmore year, you will drive by your high school and realize it was so small and unworthy of the anguish you now feel.

Everyone else, I would definitely CAUTION AGAINST physical action. You are a senior...he is younger than you (sophmore).

You are probably 18 or very close to 18. That means big boy rules and big boy JAIL. Not Juvie...JAIL. You would be assaulting a minor. Assaulting a minor who's parent would likely pursue you legally.

The best way to deal with this is to start a "paper trail."

Complain *in writing* to teachers
Complain *in writing* to administrators/principles
Complain *in writing* to his family

When you complain, don't call him names, don't intepret law (like saying "he is commiting a misdemeanor!"), or embellish in any way. Establish FACT. Establish, "this is what happened and when it happened" "this is who-else witnessed this ACT" (get their permission before you name-drop that witness).

When you establish facts in this manner, you have a DEFENSE if things get out of hand. It's no longer your word against his. It's your word + weeks of evidence against his word and zero evidence.

Adults with authority (teachers, principles, etc.) can smell instinctively when you have given them a formal record of events. It will scare the crap out of them. It will propel them to act because by formally complaining and establishing FACT, you have made those with authority LIABLE for any esclation in violence.

A cell phone video or even an audio recording of one of his tirades is ideal. His father cannot deny that sort of evidence.

Adults with authority *smell* the seriousness of your formal complaint if they sense you are trying to establish fact. Be prepared for them to go into a tizzy.

Ignoring him is the best option. Paraphrasing from a noted self defense instructor...

Imagine you get mugged after withdrawing from the ATM. There are 3 possible outcomes...

Worst: You are killed
Worse: You survive but are in jail because the justice system is a roll of the dice
Bad: You survive and avoid jail but you are $50,000 poorer due to legal fees (both criminal and civil because his family *will* sue you.)

So what is your wallet worth?

-Ski

BeSiege82 · 02-05-2008, 02:19 PM

besides I have bigger fish to fry- school grades.

01-31-2008, 12:15 AM	#46 (permalink)
BeSiege82 Join Date: Jan 2007 Location: PA Posts: 1,332	Re: how do you deal with an abusive student. Thank God! He has shut up. I do not know why, but he has shut up and has left me alone- I wonder if a cook said something. __________________ lTG-Irrl BeSiege82 A platoon leader... "Courage grows strong at the wound." "Virescit Vulnere Virtus." "{My grump-o-meter starts to make a high-pitched whine when I point it at your post, though.}" -- Axis Platoon Leader of Irregular's platoon Alpha

02-05-2008, 02:40 AM	#47 (permalink)
Ski-Racer Join Date: Jun 2005 Posts: 93	Re: how do you deal with an abusive student. I am glad it worked out. During summer break between college freshman and college sophmore year, you will drive by your high school and realize it was so small and unworthy of the anguish you now feel. Everyone else, I would definitely CAUTION AGAINST physical action. You are a senior...he is younger than you (sophmore). You are probably 18 or very close to 18. That means big boy rules and big boy JAIL. Not Juvie...JAIL. You would be assaulting a minor. Assaulting a minor who's parent would likely pursue you legally. The best way to deal with this is to start a "paper trail." Complain in writing to teachers Complain in writing to administrators/principles Complain in writing to his family When you complain, don't call him names, don't intepret law (like saying "he is commiting a misdemeanor!"), or embellish in any way. Establish FACT. Establish, "this is what happened and when it happened" "this is who-else witnessed this ACT" (get their permission before you name-drop that witness). When you establish facts in this manner, you have a DEFENSE if things get out of hand. It's no longer your word against his. It's your word + weeks of evidence against his word and zero evidence. Adults with authority (teachers, principles, etc.) can smell instinctively when you have given them a formal record of events. It will scare the crap out of them. It will propel them to act because by formally complaining and establishing FACT, you have made those with authority LIABLE for any esclation in violence. A cell phone video or even an audio recording of one of his tirades is ideal. His father cannot deny that sort of evidence. Adults with authority smell the seriousness of your formal complaint if they sense you are trying to establish fact. Be prepared for them to go into a tizzy. Ignoring him is the best option. Paraphrasing from a noted self defense instructor... Imagine you get mugged after withdrawing from the ATM. There are 3 possible outcomes... Worst: You are killed Worse: You survive but are in jail because the justice system is a roll of the dice Bad: You survive and avoid jail but you are $50,000 poorer due to legal fees (both criminal and civil because his family will sue you.) So what is your wallet worth? -Ski

02-05-2008, 02:19 PM	#48 (permalink)
BeSiege82 Join Date: Jan 2007 Location: PA Posts: 1,332	Re: how do you deal with an abusive student. besides I have bigger fish to fry- school grades. __________________ lTG-Irrl BeSiege82 A platoon leader... "Courage grows strong at the wound." "Virescit Vulnere Virtus." "{My grump-o-meter starts to make a high-pitched whine when I point it at your post, though.}" -- Axis Platoon Leader of Irregular's platoon Alpha

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