Really Bad News - Page 3

**Wyzcrak** · 04-12-2008, 12:54 PM

You and yours are in my prayers.

My father died suddenly in July. We were as close as they come. It still hurts.

But pain is not the only feeling, these days. It took two weeks to get over the shock... the mystical, dream-like state in which I lived each day. Intellectually, I knew Dad was gone. Emotionally, it was like a flashbang had just gone off: no sense of anything -- no vision or discernible sound in my heart. Crying came quickly, regardless. Denial set in pretty quickly during this time, I think.

Then (perhaps longer than two weeks in) the anger came. And lots more of crying, even at work, out of nowhere.

It's been about 10 months now, and I still find myself having moments (over as soon as they occur) when I think he's available for a phone call or a sharing of my day. I don't know when that wears off entirely.

Part of me hopes it never does, entirely. I'll tell you why.

As time passes, the pain becomes less and the joy becomes more. I'm left with the happy (and sad, which are also cherished) memories of him and the role he played in my life, and, FWIW, I'll never experience with those memories the sudden loss I experienced with him. They're mine to enjoy forever.

Here's to your enjoying your mother's memory forever. God willing, you haven't lost her forever.

Don't be afraid to cry. It's one of the most powerful healing techniques you'll discover.

Be well.

msdz · 04-12-2008, 06:02 PM

That is bad news and sorry to hear it. My brother passed away last year on 5-23-07, the day before my birthday. He crashed his motorcycle on my little girls birthday, 5-5-07. I was sure he was going to pull through cause my nephew was keeping me posted on his progress and things sounded like they were going good. I wish I could have been there in the hospital with him or at least had a chance to see him before he passed. I also was raised by my grandsparents and My grandfather passed when i was 16 and my grandmother when I was 20, life got real hard on me during that time of my life, I really had no one to turn to with the mother or father image.
I know how you are feeling and no words can really ease the pains you are feeling. It is something that only time can and will ease. I think about these important people in my life quite a bit, wishing I had more time with them when they were here on Earth.

I know this is in poor taste but what caused your mom to pass? Seemed so sudden from the time she was taken into the hospital till the time the doctors claimed she passed away.

**uk-warrior** · 04-12-2008, 07:36 PM

Hey there fella....Im sorry to hear that....I know it's easy for us to say yer mums not suffering....listen mate....if want a shoulder of support....just knock me.

I hope your god gives you time to heal...and the love that is needed to support you at this time....

Our mind thinks of death.
Our heart thinks of life
Our soul thinks of Immortality....May you find peace around this time...

A freind Warrior..

Twiggy · 04-13-2008, 02:52 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by msdz

I know this is in poor taste but what caused your mom to pass? Seemed so sudden from the time she was taken into the hospital till the time the doctors claimed she passed away.

I don't know if it was her cancer problem or something else but the doctor is still trying to find the cause of death. The real person I have to worry about out of all my family members is my dad because he thinks that when my mom came sick thedoctor must have gave her some drugs which killed her which I don't think is true but..... If it is he's gonna raise hell and I really don't want two problems on my hand

Acreo Aeneas · 04-13-2008, 04:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Twiggy

I don't know if it was her cancer problem or something else but the doctor is still trying to find the cause of death. The real person I have to worry about out of all my family members is my dad because he thinks that when my mom came sick thedoctor must have gave her some drugs which killed her which I don't think is true but..... If it is he's gonna raise hell and I really don't want two problems on my hand

Cancer. Reminds me of when my grandmother (on my dad's side) passed away late last year. It was tough seeing her slip away slowly and not being able to do much than to comfort her.

Just thought I'd share that.

BeSiege82 · 04-13-2008, 05:22 PM

I had a great aunt pass not long ago, it was right around my birthday, and it was sad. She was 93 and had no connection to her rebellious daughter. She had few connections in the family that were truly interested in her for for her sake, but my family remembered her. When she was buried, my family would not go to the burial because of the extended family and its 'stuff.'

My point is, take heart that you can at least have a burial you can attend without other parts of the family pushing you away.

What has happened has happened, but please do not forget that your family is there for you. Overcome the pain and sadness and succeed in your life. In everything hope, for there is always a way to find hope in life.

You can remember that we can laugh at silly mistakes, right?

What about when you first played a 'scary' game ? Think on the good right now... and laugh- it relieves stress.

**DaddyOfThree** · 04-13-2008, 07:06 PM

I'm really sorry to hear about your loss Twiggy... try to keep your spirits up.

msdz · 04-13-2008, 08:10 PM

They claimed that the doctors had gave my brother some medicine that caused him to have bleeding on his brain, sorry don't know the word that was used but it was not hemorrhage. Like I said he was doing fine and then my sister-in-law said a nurse walked in and gave him some medicine in his IV and his blood pressure and heart rate went through the roof, they had to get a full crew in his room to get him stabilized. The next day they did a cat scan and said he had bleeding in his brain and if he lived he would be a zombie, a vegetable. He would have most likely never walked again anyway, he had broke the T4 vertebrae plus other problems like all his ribs and right arm being crushed. I guess after 550 pounds land on you that is what happens and going about 45MPH on top of a guard rail and sliding down it with the motorcycle on top of him for about 20 feet.
Of course my sister-in-law had them pull the plug but I will always wonder if it was an error of the doctors or nurses. Things like that do happen, I mean my youngest son had slight brain damage cause of a nurse not taking his temperature properly when he was 2 years old. I felt his body and knew he was extremely hot and when I asked him to take the temperature he said he did already, found out that was like 3 hours before.I got another nurse about 15 minutes later to come in and his temp was 105.3. So, the family doctor also agreed that was just enough time to have caused slight damage to him or the temp may have even been higher than that before it was actually noticed.

faust_mateo · 04-13-2008, 08:17 PM

My deepest sympathies, I lost my mother when I was young also. Stay with it and dont be afraid to ask for help or to just talk about it.

**Rincewind** · 04-14-2008, 01:02 AM

I'm sorry for your loss Twiggy.

**daithi1** · 04-15-2008, 06:09 PM

So sorry for your loss. It's always really hard to lose close family.

**UnDeaD77** · 05-28-2008, 05:22 AM

I know exactly how you feel now. As my mom died yesterday at 2:42PM on the 27th. I'm in complete shock right now.

**Ferris Bueller** · 05-28-2008, 06:17 AM

Damn, always horrible to lose loved ones. I cant say as I know what its like to lose a parent, but you have my sincerest condolences.

**Bamboo** · 05-28-2008, 04:51 PM

I'm sorry to hear that UnDeaD77. The TG family will be thinking of you.

**CingularDuality** · 05-28-2008, 07:07 PM

My condolences... Let me know if you need anything...

04-12-2008, 12:54 PM	#31 (permalink)
Wyzcrak Join Date: May 2003 Location: Memphis, TN Posts: 14,139	Re: Really Bad News You and yours are in my prayers. My father died suddenly in July. We were as close as they come. It still hurts. But pain is not the only feeling, these days. It took two weeks to get over the shock... the mystical, dream-like state in which I lived each day. Intellectually, I knew Dad was gone. Emotionally, it was like a flashbang had just gone off: no sense of anything -- no vision or discernible sound in my heart. Crying came quickly, regardless. Denial set in pretty quickly during this time, I think. Then (perhaps longer than two weeks in) the anger came. And lots more of crying, even at work, out of nowhere. It's been about 10 months now, and I still find myself having moments (over as soon as they occur) when I think he's available for a phone call or a sharing of my day. I don't know when that wears off entirely. Part of me hopes it never does, entirely. I'll tell you why. As time passes, the pain becomes less and the joy becomes more. I'm left with the happy (and sad, which are also cherished) memories of him and the role he played in my life, and, FWIW, I'll never experience with those memories the sudden loss I experienced with him. They're mine to enjoy forever. Here's to your enjoying your mother's memory forever. God willing, you haven't lost her forever. Don't be afraid to cry. It's one of the most powerful healing techniques you'll discover. Be well. __________________ Steam Community? Add me. \| Join #tacticalgamer \| Search Results Legend \| New Posts Forum Filter \| Postbox Toggle \| Live Thread Review \| One Line Results \| Free Remote, Encrypted Backup Darkilla: In short, NS is pretty much really fast chess. With guns. Apophis: I haven't seen anyone say that SM's are better than non-SMs. Nordbomber: This is THE first server I've seen where either side can comeback from out of seemingly nowhere with the right teamwork. en4rcment: I have NEVER experienced the type of gameplay that I have found here. Nightly I am amazed at the personalities and gaming talent. Root: Welcome to TG. Feel free to punctuate your sentences correctly. Monkerz: Its gonna take all my skills to beat those boys off in the future.

04-12-2008, 06:02 PM	#32 (permalink)
msdz Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: WV Age: 36 Posts: 778	Re: Really Bad News That is bad news and sorry to hear it. My brother passed away last year on 5-23-07, the day before my birthday. He crashed his motorcycle on my little girls birthday, 5-5-07. I was sure he was going to pull through cause my nephew was keeping me posted on his progress and things sounded like they were going good. I wish I could have been there in the hospital with him or at least had a chance to see him before he passed. I also was raised by my grandsparents and My grandfather passed when i was 16 and my grandmother when I was 20, life got real hard on me during that time of my life, I really had no one to turn to with the mother or father image. I know how you are feeling and no words can really ease the pains you are feeling. It is something that only time can and will ease. I think about these important people in my life quite a bit, wishing I had more time with them when they were here on Earth. I know this is in poor taste but what caused your mom to pass? Seemed so sudden from the time she was taken into the hospital till the time the doctors claimed she passed away. __________________

04-12-2008, 07:36 PM	#33 (permalink)
uk-warrior Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: Ipswich Uk Age: 42 Posts: 235	Re: Really Bad News Hey there fella....Im sorry to hear that....I know it's easy for us to say yer mums not suffering....listen mate....if want a shoulder of support....just knock me. I hope your god gives you time to heal...and the love that is needed to support you at this time.... Our mind thinks of death. Our heart thinks of life Our soul thinks of Immortality....May you find peace around this time... A freind Warrior.. __________________

04-13-2008, 05:22 PM	#36 (permalink)
BeSiege82 Join Date: Jan 2007 Location: PA Posts: 1,333	Re: Really Bad News I had a great aunt pass not long ago, it was right around my birthday, and it was sad. She was 93 and had no connection to her rebellious daughter. She had few connections in the family that were truly interested in her for for her sake, but my family remembered her. When she was buried, my family would not go to the burial because of the extended family and its 'stuff.' My point is, take heart that you can at least have a burial you can attend without other parts of the family pushing you away. What has happened has happened, but please do not forget that your family is there for you. Overcome the pain and sadness and succeed in your life. In everything hope, for there is always a way to find hope in life. You can remember that we can laugh at silly mistakes, right? What about when you first played a 'scary' game ? Think on the good right now... and laugh- it relieves stress. __________________ lTG-Irrl BeSiege82 A platoon leader... "Courage grows strong at the wound." "Virescit Vulnere Virtus." "{My grump-o-meter starts to make a high-pitched whine when I point it at your post, though.}" -- Axis Platoon Leader of Irregular's platoon Alpha

04-13-2008, 07:06 PM	#37 (permalink)
DaddyOfThree Join Date: Feb 2007 Location: Pennsylvania Age: 36 Posts: 978	Re: Really Bad News I'm really sorry to hear about your loss Twiggy... try to keep your spirits up. __________________ Ikariam (Alpha) Emeytia[48:13] > Jakers(c) - Wine Arieos[49:13] > Ferny - Marble Liwaos[50:14] > Molly - Crystal Arieos[49:13] > Seamus - Marble

04-13-2008, 08:10 PM	#38 (permalink)
msdz Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: WV Age: 36 Posts: 778	Re: Really Bad News They claimed that the doctors had gave my brother some medicine that caused him to have bleeding on his brain, sorry don't know the word that was used but it was not hemorrhage. Like I said he was doing fine and then my sister-in-law said a nurse walked in and gave him some medicine in his IV and his blood pressure and heart rate went through the roof, they had to get a full crew in his room to get him stabilized. The next day they did a cat scan and said he had bleeding in his brain and if he lived he would be a zombie, a vegetable. He would have most likely never walked again anyway, he had broke the T4 vertebrae plus other problems like all his ribs and right arm being crushed. I guess after 550 pounds land on you that is what happens and going about 45MPH on top of a guard rail and sliding down it with the motorcycle on top of him for about 20 feet. Of course my sister-in-law had them pull the plug but I will always wonder if it was an error of the doctors or nurses. Things like that do happen, I mean my youngest son had slight brain damage cause of a nurse not taking his temperature properly when he was 2 years old. I felt his body and knew he was extremely hot and when I asked him to take the temperature he said he did already, found out that was like 3 hours before.I got another nurse about 15 minutes later to come in and his temp was 105.3. So, the family doctor also agreed that was just enough time to have caused slight damage to him or the temp may have even been higher than that before it was actually noticed. __________________

04-13-2008, 08:17 PM	#39 (permalink)
faust_mateo Join Date: Apr 2008 Posts: 1	Re: Really Bad News My deepest sympathies, I lost my mother when I was young also. Stay with it and dont be afraid to ask for help or to just talk about it. __________________ ---from the Shona words "Wafa Wasara" which loosely translated means "Those who die, die .Those who stay behind, stay behind" ---"The tragedy of man is : What dies inside himself while he still lives" - Albert Schweitzer

04-14-2008, 01:02 AM	#40 (permalink)
Rincewind Join Date: May 2005 Location: Casting useless spells in Oklahoma. Age: 27 Posts: 2,813	Re: Really Bad News I'm sorry for your loss Twiggy. __________________ ~~ Veritas simplex oratio est ~~ No matter how far a wizard goes, he will always come back for his hat. --T. Pratchett <---- You know you're getting old when you rely on your forum meta-data to remind you how old you are. Required Reading for all TG sandboxers

04-15-2008, 06:09 PM	#41 (permalink)
daithi1 Join Date: Aug 2007 Location: Ireland Posts: 1,147	Re: Really Bad News So sorry for your loss. It's always really hard to lose close family. __________________ \|TG-AIR\|Daithi1 Proud to have been an IRRegular! * 11th Air Tactical WikiMake Somebody Warm and Fuzzy, Ribbon NominationLost? Try TG Mentoring*

05-28-2008, 05:22 AM	#42 (permalink)
UnDeaD77 Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: Fort Worth,Texas Age: 22 Posts: 5,845	Re: Really Bad News I know exactly how you feel now. As my mom died yesterday at 2:42PM on the 27th. I'm in complete shock right now. __________________

05-28-2008, 06:17 AM	#43 (permalink)
Ferris Bueller Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: Orlando, FL Age: 26 Posts: 4,965	Re: Really Bad News Damn, always horrible to lose loved ones. I cant say as I know what its like to lose a parent, but you have my sincerest condolences. __________________ \|TG-6th\|Ferris Bueller Important TG Reading \| Support TG - Become a Supporting Member \| TacticalWiki - Your TG Guide Kicked/Banned? READ THIS FIRST! \| Complete list of TG Admins \| Think Someone Did A Good Job? Nominate Them For a Ribbon! Report Problem Players/Appeal Your Ban \| Learn TG - The TG Mentoring Program __________________ "Never underestimate the power of human stupidity." -Lazarus Long

05-28-2008, 04:51 PM	#44 (permalink)
Bamboo Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: On the beach north of Jacksonville, NC Posts: 3,048	Re: Really Bad News I'm sorry to hear that UnDeaD77. The TG family will be thinking of you. __________________ LINKS 10th Tactical Guard Server Rules and SOP * Kicked? Banned? READ THIS FIRST!* Contact an Admin * Nominate your teammates for a ribbon Stoop and you'll be stepped on; stand tall and you'll be shot at. -Carlos A. Urbizo-

05-28-2008, 07:07 PM	#45 (permalink)
CingularDuality Join Date: May 2003 Location: Dallas/Ft. Worth area of Texas, USA Age: 33 Posts: 16,815	Re: Really Bad News My condolences... Let me know if you need anything... __________________ Become a supporting member! -- Shop at the Tactical Market! Take the world's smallest political quiz! "I was touched by His Noodly Appendage." TacticalGamer TX LAN/BBQ Veteran:

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