Thread: Retirement Job at Wal-Mart
-
11-25-2008 10:33 AM #1
- Join Date
- Dec 2007
- Location
- Fast Cars Faster Women
- Age
- 30
- Posts
- 5,061
Retirement Job at Wal-Mart
Sent to me via email from a good friend of my fathers:
As many of you know, I had ambitions of finding a simple, uncomplicated part-time job after retiring. Unfortunately, as I have gotten a little older, I have become a little less sensitive. So after landing my new job as a Wal-Mart greeter, a good find for many retirees, I lasted less than a day ......
About two hours into my first day on the job, a very loud, obese, mean-acting woman walked into the store with her two kids, yelling obscenities at them all the way through the entrance.
As I had been instructed, I said pleasantly, 'Good morning, and welcome to Wal-Mart. Nice children you have there. Are they twins?'
The woman stopped yelling at her kids long enough to say, 'Hell no, they ain't twins. The older one's 9, and the other one's 7. Why the hell would you think they're twins? Are you blind, or just stupid?'
So I replied, 'I'm neither blind nor stupid, Ma'am, I just couldn't believe you got laid twice. Have a good day and thank you for shopping at Wal-Mart.'
My supervisor said I probably wasn't cut out for this line of work .......
P.I.C. No F.S.
Randy = Ace ! - Warlab
NYYNYR
I'm Still With Coco!
RSS Feeds:Bamboo
AKA: Kel'Thuzad
9/11 - Never Forget
Pilot Video from www.aircombat.com WIP TBA
31st Lightning Reconnaissance
Sapientiea - Co Team Leader
AnimalMother - 2IC
Orpal - Resident Pink VW Convertible Driver
-
11-25-2008 10:38 AM #2
- Join Date
- Feb 2008
- Location
- Austin, TX
- Posts
- 1,430
Re: Retirement Job at Wal-Mart
Hahahaha!
-
11-25-2008 11:32 AM #3
- Join Date
- May 2005
- Location
- Casting useless spells in Oklahoma.
- Age
- 29
- Posts
- 3,089
Re: Retirement Job at Wal-Mart
nice
~~ Veritas simplex oratio est ~~
No matter how far a wizard goes, he will always come back for his hat. --T. Pratchett
<---- You know you're getting old when you rely on your forum meta-data to remind you how old you are.
My Rig
-
11-25-2008 01:37 PM #4
Re: Retirement Job at Wal-Mart
-
11-25-2008 02:12 PM #5
- Join Date
- Mar 2008
- Location
- Ipswich Uk
- Age
- 44
- Posts
- 826
Re: Retirement Job at Wal-Mart
Lmao
"Volatilis Quod Mactabilis"
-
11-25-2008 02:17 PM #6
- Join Date
- Jul 2005
- Location
- PA, USA
- Age
- 41
- Posts
- 2,266
Re: Retirement Job at Wal-Mart
Super LOL!
|TG|ARMA Pathfinder
..now where did I put my keys?
-
11-25-2008 02:24 PM #7
- Join Date
- Mar 2008
- Location
- Ipswich Uk
- Age
- 44
- Posts
- 826
Re: Retirement Job at Wal-Mart
Had to share this...lol
The Devil's Lawsuit
There was a contruction worker who was working on a building when he fell 15 stories to his bloody death.
He arrived at the pearly gates and St. Peter said "Oh, I am sorry, my son. But you have been sentenced to hell."
The worker agreed - not like he could do anything else - and he was on his way.
When he arrived, the devil looked at him and said, "Ah! A new slave. We shall burn you and throw you in the fiery pits."
Then the worker replied, "That wall could use a bit of patching. I could fix it first and you could throw me in the pit afterward." So he fixed the wall.
Satan, intrigued, asked, "What else can you build?"
So the construction worker went about his job and made many improvements; in fact, by the time he was done, hell was a paradise. It had air conditioning, pools, balconies, you name it.
Within a few days, God phoned Satan and said, "I think there has been a mix-up. That worker was originally supposed to come to heaven."
Satan replied, "No way -- he's built all sorts of useful stuff for us. We're keeping him."
God then said, "Oh, yeah? Well, I'll see you in court. We're going to sue you for this man's soul and damages."
Satan just laughed: "And where are you going to find a lawyer?""Volatilis Quod Mactabilis"
-
11-25-2008 02:51 PM #8
- Join Date
- Apr 2007
- Location
- Sacramento, California
- Age
- 20
- Posts
- 2,285
-
11-25-2008 03:07 PM #9
- Join Date
- Feb 2006
- Location
- Lake Worth,Texas
- Age
- 24
- Posts
- 7,118
Re: Retirement Job at Wal-Mart
Sounds about right with Wal-Mart's demographic.
|TG-12th|UnDeaD77
The 12th Dragoons are returning to the Battlefield.
-
11-25-2008 03:14 PM #10
- Join Date
- Mar 2008
- Location
- Ipswich Uk
- Age
- 44
- Posts
- 826
Re: Retirement Job at Wal-Mart
Like the Saying to Assume makes an Arse out of you and me...lol
"Volatilis Quod Mactabilis"
-
11-30-2008 11:15 PM #11
- Join Date
- Apr 2008
- Location
- Quebec, Canada
- Age
- 21
- Posts
- 1,499
Re: Retirement Job at Wal-Mart
Epic. I Lol'd
Originally Posted by Delta*RandyShugart*
|TG-1st| The Vanguard
TG Pathfinder | Armed Assault Admin | Bearer of the Pink Shirt
Ingame Name: |TG-1st| Xmaster
Server Rules and SOP's || Contact an Admin
-- I always wanted TG to be different than anyone else out there. We need to be unique in what we offer and how we play, if not we are simply competing with everyone else. --
The BigC
-
12-02-2008 09:04 PM #12
- Join Date
- May 2003
- Location
- Kansas City area (U.S.A.)
- Age
- 38
- Posts
- 2,040
Re: Retirement Job at Wal-Mart
Walmart - as a teacher, I've totally wanted to say things like that before. I have... ONCE. long story.
Hell - I'd heard that, but with an Engineer. Good one."Sympathy means a lot, coming from Kulmar. I didn't think it was possible.
Good luck getting rid of your disease. If you're infected, though, stay away--I can't afford to be a zombie right now.
" Ednos
-
12-04-2008 12:30 PM #13
- Join Date
- Dec 2008
- Location
- Florida
- Age
- 49
- Posts
- 63
Re: Retirement Job at Wal-Mart
Both very funny. The Wal-Mart story had me laughing.
-
12-06-2008 02:29 PM #14
- Join Date
- Jul 2008
- Location
- Miami,FL
- Age
- 20
- Posts
- 96
Re: Retirement Job at Wal-Mart
Pwnage!!!!!!
Reply With Quote
Thread Information
Users Browsing this Thread
There are currently 1 users browsing this thread. (0 members and 1 guests)
Posting Permissions
- You may not post new threads
- You may not post replies
- You may not post attachments
- You may not edit your posts
Bookmarks