Ask the Oracle....lol

Fighter · 05-27-2009, 05:34 PM

I sortof took this from the 2142 forum but it gave me an idea. http://askoracle.net/index.php That is an intriguing website. The answers may most of the time be full of crap, but they're fun to read. Check it out!

Q. Is my life worth living?

A. After the most thorough investigation I can answer with confidence: no.

It was a default question that popped up...

Q. Do you suck?

A. I believe I do.

**Holy** · 05-28-2009, 09:49 PM

lol I thought you stole this from Lyra. xP

JWG · 05-28-2009, 11:01 PM

Had some fun with this today, thanks.

**Skylark** · 05-29-2009, 02:16 AM

Will you have mad passionate sex with me?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The Oracle replied:
Yes, unless you screw things up.

mmmm I probably screwed it up when I got married.

**kevlarorc** · 05-31-2009, 12:56 AM

-How much wood would a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood?
-Tons! I can imagine the shock.

-Will woot.com offer something good in seven minutes?
-Not in my lifetime. And I am going to live long.

-Did you ever see a llama kiss a llama on the llama llama llama’s tastes of llama llama llama duck?
-I like you, too!

**Bandaid** · 05-31-2009, 03:01 PM

You asked:
Who was the first human on the moon

The Oracle replied:
George W. Bush

You asked:
Who’s George Bush?

The Oracle replied:
I’d rather not talk about him.

You asked:
Why not?

The Oracle replied:
I’m sure Kim Jong Il is behind this.

You asked:
How’d you know?

The Oracle replied:
I’m the Oracle. Of course I know.

Quote:

You asked:

What is the capital of washington
The Oracle replied:

Sex.

lol

Acreo Aeneas · 05-31-2009, 05:13 PM

Lol...

Quote:

You asked:

Why are you staring at me?
The Oracle replied:

The root cause of this unfortunate series of events is the government. It limits our freedom.

Quote:

You asked:

Who created you?
The Oracle replied:

Aapo Puskala

Quote:

You asked:

Who am I?
The Oracle replied:

You are what you believe you are.

Quote:

You asked:

Is my life worth living?
The Oracle replied:

If you ask me - as many people do - I say no. I just got a phone call where I learned this.

**PaintScratcher** · 06-01-2009, 02:04 PM

Lol this is epic. The fortune rubber has truely moved into the digital age!

Quote:

You asked:
So you are the Oracle huh?

The Oracle replied:
Yes.

-----------------------------------
You asked:
Interesting

The Oracle replied:
That doesn’t look like a question to me. Please use complete sentences.

----------------------------------
Ok then, Is Tactical Gamer the best website on the web?

The Oracle replied:
www.askoracle.net is the best site ever. Count me on this one at least.
-----------------------------------
You asked:
Is fighter a friend of the oracle for bringing you to the attention of TG?

The Oracle replied:
Certainly!
------------------------------------

Then I tryed to get it angry...lol

Quote:

You asked:
You think you’re so great!

The Oracle replied:
Thanks, you made me feel good.

Then I asked it the ULTIMATE question.

Quote:

You asked:
What came first the chicken or the egg?

The Oracle replied:
The first one yields a better result.

Dang it, it knows everything!

**WhiskeySix** · 06-01-2009, 02:44 PM

Where are my pants
The Oracle replied:

Under a train.

SilentSunshine · 06-03-2009, 05:12 PM

That was great. I asked a zillion things and laughed heartily. My fave...
You asked:
Who wrote Jane Eyre?
The Oracle replied:
Ty Pennington. Revealing this information to others might jeopardize national security. Keep it to yourself.

Bladecutter · 06-05-2009, 11:10 AM

Quote:

You asked:

Does she love me?
The Oracle replied:

I’m afraid I must disappoint you, but no he doesn’t.

He? Phew, close one there!

Quote:

You asked:

Why does my foot itch?
The Oracle replied:

This was decided a long time ago, before you or I were even born.

I knew it!

Quote:

You asked:

How did you become so sexy?
The Oracle replied:

With limitless cash. Of all the questions in the world you could have asked me, you chose this.

Quote:

You asked:

Will I get Zhohar’s dogtags in Battlefield 2142 before I die?
The Oracle replied:

No you won’t.

Well crap!

Quote:

You asked:

You’re hot.
The Oracle replied:

I thought we are here to discuss you, not me.

Quote:

You asked:

Can I have your phone number?
The Oracle replied:

Sorry, I can only contact you over the Web.

Quote:

You asked:

Will I cause nuclear winter?
The Oracle replied:

I have faith in you.

Quote:

You asked:

What is the greatest sandwich?
The Oracle replied:

Noodles with Chicken and Vegetables

Orly?

**MrShawn305** · 06-05-2009, 11:37 AM

Q: Who is your daddy, and what does he do?
A: The mean kid who used to tease others in kindergarten, remember?

Q: Im a cop, you idiot!
A: *Smiles and nods*

**PaintScratcher** · 06-05-2009, 12:28 PM

Anyone match this description???

You asked:
Who will win the TacticalGamer.com Insergency World Series?

The Oracle replied:
One who has the body and the calmness of Buddha.

SilentSunshine · 06-05-2009, 06:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bladecutter

Quote:
You asked:
Does she love me?
The Oracle replied:
I’m afraid I must disappoint you, but no he doesn’t.

He? Phew, close one there!

Lemme guess. MarthaHyer??? oohhh...

**Arithea** · 06-06-2009, 12:57 AM

You asked:

Are you thinking what I’m thinking, Pinky?
The Oracle replied:

No, how could you even think of such a thing? I can imagine the shock.

You asked:

Why yes, Brain, but where would we get that much tapioca pudding?
The Oracle replied:

Religious fanticism is behind this tragedy.