Re: Considering military after College.

**SmokingTarpan** · 12-22-2005, 04:45 PM

Though I'm not military, I'd like to add my slant on things. I also have several good friends in the military, so I can share their stories with you.

First and foremost, while the military will change you as everyone has already said, this is not the only (nor necessarily the best) way to become a leader or develop those skills. Just because you've had a weapon in your hand and bullets flying by your head doesn't guarantee that you'll be better at managing people in your job than someone who has no military experience. Will you handle stress better than the average Joe? Probably. But I've had plenty of near-death and stressful situations in my life, and haven't gone near a battlefield once. I came out just fine.

As everyone else has stated, if you do join up, read that contract. Even the best recruiters will try to slip things by you, and you could find yourself digging latrines when you thought you'd be guiding missiles.

The military can and will attempt to screw you over as it sees fit. I don't necessarily mean this in a bad way, but the military is a large machine that grinds you up and spits you out where needed (kinda like college). My friend had his benefits and pay delayed regularly because the army "lost" his paperwork, which conveniently turned up a few months later at the beginning of the new fiscal year. A guy in his unit was classified as non-deployable because he had a torn ACL; he's in Iraq right now, and they won't send him back because his paperwork says he's still in the states. He gets to sit there while the army "looks into it".

Despite what you see in the commercials, rock music does not play constantly if you are in the navy. :P

Many of the contracts for weapon design go to civilian companies, so if you want to do that don't think you need to be in the service first.

Have many long talks with your fiancee. It's a big decision for the both of you, especially if you'd be joining after marriage. Remember, once you're married, all decisions affect the family, not the self.

Talk with your parents/siblings as well. While it is your life now, your decision will have a profound affect on their hearts.

If you do join, and you are looking for a high tech job to help you out later in life, go for the air force. This, by the way, has the best chances of sending you home alive.

According to an old friend of mine that used to get shin splints but ran marathons anyway, you can tape your shins to help with the pain.

If you had to choose this instant, marriage or military, what would you choose? It's not a fair question, but people reveal more about themselves and their desires in a split-second decision than they ever will in year-long decision.

Lastly: Don't worry about being on your deathbed and looking back at life, regretting then that you never joined. Worry about regretting and being bitter about it every day as you go through life. You dig?

**section-8** · 12-22-2005, 05:27 PM

Originally Posted by SmokingTarpan

Despite what you see in the commercials, rock music does not play constantly if you are in the navy. :P

WHAT?!!!!

**El_Gringo_Grande** · 12-23-2005, 03:04 PM

I will add a bit.....

I was in the Navy as a Nuke. That is somebody that works in the nuclear reactor spaces. Served six years as an electronics tech and reactor operator.

I will echo the statements that the ASVAB are very important. And they work both ways. If you score high and want to be a grunt or a cook it may not work out. One guy in boot camp was devistated that he couldn't do what both his dad and grandfather did (I think it had to do something with the fligt deck) because he scored high. Now this wasn't really the "military" that caused this, it was the jerk(s) who gave out the assignments. I found out later that the guy did get the job he wanted after he got to his training and expressed his desires.

The point being that the military is a bureaucracy, a very big one steeped in tradition and populated with some human beings wanting to hold onto the little power they have. There is always a chance that you could be unlucky and be assigned to someplace that has a bunch of dorks. Getting out of that situation can be tricky.

I wouldn't worry because in almost every instance you get a chance at what the contract spells out. But just don't go in thinking you have a gaurantee because you don't. I did get what I was promised but I was shocked when I learned the truth.

My brother in law is an Air Force recruiter and he has to turn away alot of people. Much of it has to do with the war in Iraq. Many people want to join but want to avoid direct action so they look to Navy and Air Force. But with a college education I doubt you will have any trouble. Another thing about the Air Force is gaining rank is more difficult becuase the turn over is low as compared to other branches.

Divorce rate is higher in the Navy at least. I don't know the numbers now but back when I was in (87-92) they where not that much higher than civies. The ones I personally knew that had problems where mainly because they where young. Marriage and youth don't go together well anyway so when you add in the stress of being away for long periods of times.....

I personally hated much of my time in the military. I don't like following orders well and don't get along well with those who do (and every body follows orders in the military). But I wouldn't change it at all. (Well, with age I now realize things would have been better had I not fought it so much.) I think this is true because I joined because I simply believed I should serve my country in some small way.

I am proud of what I did and recomend it to anybody. Just do it with eyes open.

On a side note. I can't imagine having women on a war time ship. We only had a few females at any one time simply so that they could gain promotion. Nukes had no women I know of because the only boats that have reactor power plants where war ships. Just seems creepy to me and I am a very domesticated male. Can't imagine what some of those ole crusty sea dogs felt.

**Barracuda_Magoo** · 12-23-2005, 05:41 PM

Originally Posted by El_Gringo_Grande

On a side note. I can't imagine having women on a war time ship. We only had a few females at any one time simply so that they could gain promotion. Nukes had no women I know of because the only boats that have reactor power plants where war ships. Just seems creepy to me and I am a very domesticated male. Can't imagine what some of those ole crusty sea dogs felt.

In the army, MP's/transportation = infantry for women

**aeroripper** · 12-23-2005, 08:48 PM

I won't get into politics in this particular forum (I would not be welcome), but I wouldn't do it. Your fiance is more important, if you do join, give her the boot rather than invite a bunch of misery into both your lives not being to see eachother.

**Meat_Drapes** · 12-23-2005, 09:18 PM

I have spent over 18 years enlisted. I love it.
I got married 5 days upon boot camp graduation... still married.
Anything is possible.

You have a nice chance to think it through and make an INFORMED decision.

Let me help by pointing you in the direction of this link:

http://usmilitary.about.com/od/joiningthemilitary/

Take your time and read as much as you can. For those of us that have served, we can help answer all of the questions as they arise during your reading.

**Ferret** · 12-23-2005, 10:27 PM

I'm not in the military but I thought long and hard about it. The reason I ultimately decided not to join up was because of my wife and kid. Around the time I was thinking about it I was still in High School and with my wife (we got married about a year ago, been together for a little over four years). The time I learned my wife was pregnant was the time my thoughts of joining the military tapered. I know it sounds like a lame excuse because there are many, many folks overseas right now with wives and children but I just wanted to be there, for my son in particular, growing up in his early years.

Another reason (which is also lame I guess) is that I don't know if I'd be able to deal with the emotional side of being away from your loved one's for so long. It would just be too overbearing for me I think. Had I not met my current wife and not had a kid, I would most likely be in the service as we speak.

There are many opportunities out of the military and it would be a great choice for anyone willing to risk their lives. My brother is currently in Iraq. He's been there since last July. He's in the USMC, Infantry. He'd been admiring to be a Marine for many years prior to joining (he's only 19 years old). After bootcamp in Paris Island, he wanted to stay in for 20 years or something like that (a lifer). After training in Camp Lejune, he decided he'd just fullfill his four years. I'm not exactly sure why he ultimately decided that, but from what I can remember, he told me "I was going to stay in for life, but I think I'm just going to stay in for my contract", "Why?", I said, "There's a lot of bull****". Take that for what you will but that's pretty much what he told me. Now with that said he, to this day, does not regret signing up. He likes what he does, just apparently not enough to stay in for life.

I've spoken to him a handful of times during his time in Iraq, more recently last Sunday night. His girlfriend cheated on him because she thought or heard that he slept with another girl while in North Carolina (which was not true) and he found out about it recently. I knew about this a couple weeks ago but not I, nor anyone in my family, was going to dare tell him while he was serving overseas. He has enough to worry about. Well anyway while we're talking on the phone the other night, I ask him "So are you looking forward to coming back?", his response was "Not now I'm not". I ask "Why?" and he says "I found out about Courtney" (his girlfriend). His exact words were "I'm going to kill them both when I get back...I'll deal with it when I get home". I, of course, tell him it's not worth losing your life in jail over and so forth and he replies "I don't care, I'll get away with it, believe me, I know what I'm doing". So needless to say, that has me worried. I don't want to see him ruin his life when he has so much going for him out of the military and spend the rest of his life in jail because of this idiot girlfriend of his. Hopefully he will be calmed down when he gets home but beings that he will be fresh out of being in a war, I'm not banking on it. All I can do is hope for the best.

Sorry to kind of get off topic there but I just thought I'd share that bit because it does sort of relate to the emotional side of being away from your loved one(s). Aside from that he's been involved in a few firefights, had an RPG land yards from his position, he's encountered a few IED's, house to house searches, raids, and various other missions he cannot tell me about because of confidentiality. He knew what he was getting himself into going in as a Grunt, so it's obviously not a shock to him. Like I said he likes what he does over there, this is what he signed up for. He says he's bored most of the time and when action hits it's like "Man, I have to get up now...".

That's my experience with the military. I know alot of it probably doesn't help simply because you are completely different from my brother and what his intentions were upon joining. My brother joined up more of less because he loved the Marines and wanted to kill. He wants to buy an 89 Chevy Pickup when he gets home and "drink beer all day", so yeah, I know this is kind of hard to relate to your situation.

With all of that said, whether or not you decide to join the military, obviously talk it over with your fiance and anyone else you may seem fit. Get their input and do extensive research on how the military can serve you later in life, what opportunities there are, etc. It will probably be one of, if not the biggest decision you make in your life so make it count and don't make a hasty decision. Remember there are many, many great opportunities available to you in the military but you must understand and be willing to risk your life for this great country. Think your decision over long and hard, take your fiance's and any other friend's or families input into strong consideration. Whatever you ultimately decide it won't make me, personally, think any less of you either way. It's what's best for you in the end.

**El_Gringo_Grande** · 12-23-2005, 10:54 PM

Originally Posted by aeroripper

I won't get into politics in this particular forum (I would not be welcome), but I wouldn't do it. Your fiance is more important, if you do join, give her the boot rather than invite a bunch of misery into both your lives not being to see eachother.

Well, there are some wives that actually like that type of marriage. On of my best friends wife liked it. She was a pretty independent woman and enjoyed the excuse to fly out to meet my friend when we pulled into an oversea port. She also liked it because she could focus on her law degree.

Some actually have don't trouble until AFTER they leave the military. This is something ese you have to consider. Leaving the military is a huge shock to the system. I think it is even harder than the initial shock of joining.

Remember, I was a person that disliked (even hated) my time served. But it is not a given that a marriage will fail if you join.

**CingularDuality** · 12-26-2005, 10:34 PM

Originally Posted by El_Gringo_Grande

Well, there are some wives that actually like that type of marriage. On of my best friends wife liked it. She was a pretty independent woman and enjoyed the excuse to fly out to meet my friend when we pulled into an oversea port. She also liked it because she could focus on her law degree.

Some actually have don't trouble until AFTER they leave the military. This is something ese you have to consider. Leaving the military is a huge shock to the system. I think it is even harder than the initial shock of joining.

Remember, I was a person that disliked (even hated) my time served. But it is not a given that a marriage will fail if you join.

Indeed. It may not sound right, and it may not apply to everyone, but many, many marriages are strengthened by occasional absences. I spent a year in Japan just months after I got married. My entire career had small week-long to months-long training exercises peppered throughout. It was tough, but my wife and I grew because of it.

Tarpan mentioned that the military isn't a requirement for acquiring leadership skills. He's right, but it's probably the quickest and most efficient way to get them. There's a reason why military vets are almost always preferred over non veterans if other qualifications are equal... Most 22 year olds lack the discipline and life experience that a veteran has.

**fencer55** · 12-27-2005, 03:39 PM

Military is an awesome experience for a single person when we are not at war. If you really want to be married, I would not choose the service. Simple as that.

**Iceberg** · 01-05-2006, 05:58 AM

I've started talking to my fiance with these intentions as being serious. Right now, the game plan is to excell on my tests and look at my options.

**Gixxer_USMC** · 01-05-2006, 10:11 AM

Originally Posted by squeak

I've started talking to my fiance with these intentions as being serious. Right now, the game plan is to excell on my tests and look at my options.

I would say that this is a good start !!
Good Luck in what you decide !

**Bubba** · 01-05-2006, 10:18 AM

Originally Posted by squeak

I've started talking to my fiance with these intentions as being serious. Right now, the game plan is to excell on my tests and look at my options.

Gixxer right. Look hard at your options. I enjoyed my 21 years of military service.

Good luck on what you decide.

**CingularDuality** · 01-05-2006, 12:46 PM

Originally Posted by squeak

I've started talking to my fiance with these intentions as being serious. Right now, the game plan is to excell on my tests and look at my options.

Good plan. And don't be afraid to ask us anything you might want to know!

**Iceberg** · 01-05-2006, 01:35 PM

Originally Posted by CingularDuality

Good plan. And don't be afraid to ask us anything you might want to know!

What are babies, and where do they come from

Well, hell, here's one:
How do you recommend conditioning your body... a few routine exercises?

I consider myself to be in better shape then I was. Now, I'm not carved out of rock or anything, but I can certainly hold my own biking or jogging. What I'm trying to focus on is endurance and being lean, but my body responds 100% more to heavy weight training and resistance training. One of the hardest workouts Ive done for an endurance training is the Deck of Cards. I assign a different workout for each card (push up, sit up, crunches, squats, jumping jacks, pull ups, etc) depending out the suit. Then do that workout the number of times depending on the card value. I do this quickly without any breaks.

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