Re: Programmer jokes

**El_Gringo_Grande** · 09-17-2009, 03:27 PM

My favorite so far

"Jon Skeet can recite Pi... Backwards."

**ScratchMonkey** · 09-17-2009, 05:55 PM

Apple's MPW C compiler error messages:

http://www.netfunny.com/rhf/jokes/91q3/cerrors.html

"String literal too long (I let you have 512 characters, that's 3 more than ANSI said I should)"

"...And the lord said, 'lo, there shall only be case or default labels inside a switch statement'"

"a typedef name was a complete surprise to me at this point in your program"

"'Volatile' and 'Register' are not miscible"

"You can't modify a constant, float upstream, win an argument with the IRS, or satisfy this compiler"

"This struct already has a perfectly good definition"

"type in (cast) must be scalar; ANSI 3.3.4; page 39, lines 10-11 (I know you don't care, I'm just trying to annoy you)"

"Can't cast a void type to type void (because the ANSI spec. says so, that's why)"

"Huh ?"

"can't go mucking with a 'void *'"

"we already did this function"

"This label is the target of a goto from outside of the block containing this label AND this block has an automatic variable with an initializer AND your window wasn't wide enough to read this whole error message"

"Call me paranoid but finding '/*' inside this comment makes me suspicious"

"Too many errors on one line (make fewer)"

"Symbol table full - fatal heap error; please go buy a RAM upgrade from your local Apple dealer"

**Acreo Aeneas** · 09-17-2009, 06:36 PM

Originally Posted by El_Gringo_Grande

The goal of Computer Science is to build something that will last at least until we’ve finished building it.

Anonymous

Oh how true that is.

**ScratchMonkey** · 09-18-2009, 07:28 PM

This site's full of fun stuff, such as little snippets of humorous IRC captures:

http://www.bash.org/?7755

**ScratchMonkey** · 09-18-2009, 08:13 PM

New video from the guys that brought you The Website Is Down, "Remain Calm":

http://www.thewebsiteisdown.com/

**El_Gringo_Grande** · 09-23-2009, 10:35 PM

http://www.xckd.com/303/

And "Running Tests" is better because they can take forever (if you write the correctly!).

**Acreo Aeneas** · 09-23-2009, 11:30 PM

Originally Posted by El_Gringo_Grande

http://www.xckd.com/303/

And "Running Tests" is better because they can take forever (if you write the correctly!).

Oh my god. *yawns* Oh gosh, I'm too tired to keep laughing.

**El_Gringo_Grande** · 10-03-2009, 07:49 PM

Think Agile is the hot development methodology? Try these.

Cognitive Dissonance development (CDD) – In any organization where there are two or more divergent beliefs on how software should be made. The tension between those beliefs, as it’s fought out in various meetings and individual decisions by players on both sides, defines the project more than any individual belief itself.

I have been doing that one for years. The bosses are all data driven and I prefer OOP.

**ScratchMonkey** · 10-14-2009, 08:53 PM

You've heard of tinyurl. Now there's gianturl!

http://gianturl.com/

The URL to this thread normally has a length of 86 characters and resulted in the following GiantURL which has a length of 794 characters:

http://www.gianturl.com?PttyYc,mVSlW...,T7m,mqgHyoRxg

**Acreo Aeneas** · 10-15-2009, 02:18 AM

Originally Posted by ScratchMonkey

You've heard of tinyurl. Now there's gianturl!

http://gianturl.com/

The URL to this thread normally has a length of 86 characters and resulted in the following GiantURL which has a length of 794 characters:

http://www.gianturl.com?PttyYc,mVSlW...,T7m,mqgHyoRxg

You: "Hey did you download that report I sent you a link for in the last email?"
Boss: "No. When I clicked it my computer froze. I think something's wrong with the link."
You: *scratches head* "Oh. Well I guess I'll have to get you a copy on a CD or something..."

I do wonder if you'd ever have a need for a super-duper-lockup-inducing link.

**marstein** · 10-22-2009, 03:06 AM

How many programmers to screw in a lightbulb?

None - it's a hardware problem.

**ScratchMonkey** · 10-22-2009, 07:53 AM

YETI@Home
http://www.phobe.com/yeti/

YETI@Home is a scientific experiment that harnesses the power of hundreds of thousands of Internet-connected computers in the search for giant ape-like creatures (YETI). We, the YETI team members who founded this experiment, are experts in the field of cryptozoology (the study of animals that do not exist).

You can participate in this historic study by running a free program that downloads and analyzes video & sound captured from your very own backyard.There's a small but captivating possibility that your computer will detect the faint footsteps of a hairy monster.

**ScratchMonkey** · 10-22-2009, 10:39 AM

Yeah, I know it's hardware, but....

[media]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_2Xytb84Zrg[/media]

**PanzerHans** · 10-22-2009, 06:15 PM

Originally Posted by El_Gringo_Grande

Think Agile is the hot development methodology? Try these.

The forum has censored the link.

I´ve gianturled it for you : http://www.gianturl.com?GxgoJfNnWPc,...s<br /> LwkKxp

**ScratchMonkey** · 10-23-2009, 06:08 AM

LOL.

The forum software changes all the newlines to <br />. Curiously, the link still works. I suspect the gianturl guys made their links tolerant of that kind of butchering.

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