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Discussion: General Forums / Hardware & Software Discussion - Programmer jokes - http://esolangs.org/wiki/Intolerant
*shudder*
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10-24-2009, 04:44 AM #46
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Re: Programmer jokes
http://esolangs.org/wiki/Intolerant
*shudder*Last edited by Fruvous; 10-24-2009 at 04:59 AM.
Without teamwork, you'll never survive.
Without betrayal you'll never win.
Welcome to Cutthroat Caverns
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10-25-2009, 02:52 AM #47
Re: Programmer jokes
A language that wipes the user's hard drive if an error occurs.
What in the world is that?
Acreo Aeneas
Content Development Team
Technology Relations Manager
Former 9th IHS Member. Long live the mobile infantry!
Novice Audiophile, Technology Enthusiast
"Arrrrgh! This waiting for BF3's beta is driving me up a wall!" - Acreo Aeneas
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10-26-2009, 04:01 PM #48
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Re: Programmer jokes
http://www-users.cs.york.ac.uk/~susan/joke/klingon.htm
If Klingons were programmers
Klingon function calls do not have 'parameters' - they have 'arguments' -- and they ALWAYS WIN THEM.Without teamwork, you'll never survive.
Without betrayal you'll never win.
Welcome to Cutthroat Caverns
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10-26-2009, 04:07 PM #49
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Re: Programmer jokes
As a big fan of "How things are made" on TLC. That was very funny!
Originally Posted by ScratchMonkey
I’m not racists, I have republican friends. Radio show host.
- "The essence of tyranny is the denial of complexity". -Jacob Burkhardt
- "A foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds" - Emerson
- "People should not be afraid of it's government, government should be afraid of it's People." - Line from V for Vendetta
- If software were as unreliable as economic theory, there wouldn't be a plane made of anything other than paper that could get off the ground. Jim Fawcette
- "Let me now state what seems to me the decisive objection to any conservatism which deserves to be called such. It is that by its very nature it cannot offer an alternative to the direction in which we are moving." -Friedrich Hayek
- "Don't waist your time on me your already the voice inside my head." Blink 182 to my wife
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10-26-2009, 04:33 PM #50
Re: Programmer jokes
Linked from the Klingon page is this collection of very funny material. Be sure to check out the cardboard cutout dog as code reviewer, and the various MS spoof images.
http://www.sjbaker.org/humor/Dude, seriously, WHAT handkerchief?
snooggums' density principal: "The more dense a population, the more dense a population."
Iliana: "You're a great friend but if we're ever chased by zombies I'm tripping you."
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10-29-2009, 01:23 PM #51
Re: Programmer jokes
For gamers, Valve's idea of Time:
http://developer.valvesoftware.com/wiki/Valve_TimeDude, seriously, WHAT handkerchief?
snooggums' density principal: "The more dense a population, the more dense a population."
Iliana: "You're a great friend but if we're ever chased by zombies I'm tripping you."
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10-29-2009, 01:43 PM #52
Re: Programmer jokes
Google's master plan
http://www.flickr.com/photos/jurvets...70089/sizes/o/Dude, seriously, WHAT handkerchief?
snooggums' density principal: "The more dense a population, the more dense a population."
Iliana: "You're a great friend but if we're ever chased by zombies I'm tripping you."
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10-29-2009, 01:50 PM #53
Re: Programmer jokes
Dude, seriously, WHAT handkerchief?
snooggums' density principal: "The more dense a population, the more dense a population."
Iliana: "You're a great friend but if we're ever chased by zombies I'm tripping you."
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10-30-2009, 11:22 AM #54
Re: Programmer jokes
Master Foo and the MCSE
http://www.catb.org/~esr//writings/unix-koans/mcse.html
Once, a famous Windows system administrator came to Master Foo and asked him for instruction: “I have heard that you are a powerful Unix wizard. Let us trade secrets, that we may both gain thereby.”
Master Foo said: “It is good that you seek wisdom. But in the Way of Unix, there are no secrets.”
The administrator looked puzzled at this. “But it is said that you are a great Unix guru who knows all the innermost mysteries. As do I in Windows; I am an MCSE, and I have many other certifications of knowledge not common in the world. I know even the most obscure registry entries by heart. I can tell you everything about the Windows API, yes, even secrets those of Redmond have half-forgotten. What is the arcane lore that gives you your power?”
Master Foo said: “I have none. Nothing is hidden, nothing is revealed.”
Growing angry, the administrator said “Very well, if you hold no secrets, then tell me: what do I have to know to become as powerful in the Unix way as you?”
Master Foo said: “A man who mistakes secrets for knowledge is like a man who, seeking light, hugs a candle so closely that he smothers it and burns his hand.”
Upon hearing this, the administrator was enlightened.Dude, seriously, WHAT handkerchief?
snooggums' density principal: "The more dense a population, the more dense a population."
Iliana: "You're a great friend but if we're ever chased by zombies I'm tripping you."
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10-30-2009, 11:36 AM #55
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Re: Programmer jokes
Through many years of experimentation I have found the below to be true.
http://xkcd.com/323/I’m not racists, I have republican friends. Radio show host.
- "The essence of tyranny is the denial of complexity". -Jacob Burkhardt
- "A foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds" - Emerson
- "People should not be afraid of it's government, government should be afraid of it's People." - Line from V for Vendetta
- If software were as unreliable as economic theory, there wouldn't be a plane made of anything other than paper that could get off the ground. Jim Fawcette
- "Let me now state what seems to me the decisive objection to any conservatism which deserves to be called such. It is that by its very nature it cannot offer an alternative to the direction in which we are moving." -Friedrich Hayek
- "Don't waist your time on me your already the voice inside my head." Blink 182 to my wife
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10-30-2009, 01:09 PM #56
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Re: Programmer jokes
And another one.
I’m not racists, I have republican friends. Radio show host.
- "The essence of tyranny is the denial of complexity". -Jacob Burkhardt
- "A foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds" - Emerson
- "People should not be afraid of it's government, government should be afraid of it's People." - Line from V for Vendetta
- If software were as unreliable as economic theory, there wouldn't be a plane made of anything other than paper that could get off the ground. Jim Fawcette
- "Let me now state what seems to me the decisive objection to any conservatism which deserves to be called such. It is that by its very nature it cannot offer an alternative to the direction in which we are moving." -Friedrich Hayek
- "Don't waist your time on me your already the voice inside my head." Blink 182 to my wife
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01-21-2010, 08:43 PM #57
Re: Programmer jokes
Check out the photo accompanying this article:
http://www.boyet.com/Articles/ABAProblem.html
(You need to be a fan of 70's pop music.)Dude, seriously, WHAT handkerchief?
snooggums' density principal: "The more dense a population, the more dense a population."
Iliana: "You're a great friend but if we're ever chased by zombies I'm tripping you."
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03-11-2010, 06:50 PM #58
Re: Programmer jokes
http://abstrusegoose.com/249
As with xkcd, hover over the comic to see the message.Dude, seriously, WHAT handkerchief?
snooggums' density principal: "The more dense a population, the more dense a population."
Iliana: "You're a great friend but if we're ever chased by zombies I'm tripping you."
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03-11-2010, 09:59 PM #59
Re: Programmer jokes
Ha! Wait, you're from the future aren't you? Hmm, how long ago were you still considered "from the future"? (better question) Originally Posted by ScratchMonkey
Acreo Aeneas
Content Development Team
Technology Relations Manager
Former 9th IHS Member. Long live the mobile infantry!
Novice Audiophile, Technology Enthusiast
"Arrrrgh! This waiting for BF3's beta is driving me up a wall!" - Acreo Aeneas
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03-13-2010, 01:38 AM #60
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Re: Programmer jokes
That is farking classic, and true for all languages. Originally Posted by ScratchMonkey
I also like the ABBA problem. I recently had something akin to one of those. It was the classic singleton/multi-thread headache. It was really only seen on rare occasions in the web server environment when there where thousands of users of a particulate kind. Actually the problem cropped up almost 2 years ago but I only figured it out about 2 months ago when a customer had sufficient latency and horrible networking to reliably reproduce it.I’m not racists, I have republican friends. Radio show host.
- "The essence of tyranny is the denial of complexity". -Jacob Burkhardt
- "A foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds" - Emerson
- "People should not be afraid of it's government, government should be afraid of it's People." - Line from V for Vendetta
- If software were as unreliable as economic theory, there wouldn't be a plane made of anything other than paper that could get off the ground. Jim Fawcette
- "Let me now state what seems to me the decisive objection to any conservatism which deserves to be called such. It is that by its very nature it cannot offer an alternative to the direction in which we are moving." -Friedrich Hayek
- "Don't waist your time on me your already the voice inside my head." Blink 182 to my wife
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