Go Back   Tactical Gamer > General Forums > Hardware & Software Discussion

Hardware & Software Discussion Hardware and Software discussion and troubleshooting. Tweakers and Overclockers welcome!
Don't forget to check out our Video Production sub-forum!

Reply
 
Thread Tools
Old 11-05-2009, 09:42 PM   #1 (permalink)
 
ScratchMonkey's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: San Pablo, California
Age: 49
Posts: 6,706
Tournaments Joined: 0
Tournaments Won: 0
OS Humor

http://www.urbandictionary.com/defin...x&defid=406702

If Operating Systems Ran The Airlines...

UNIX Airways

Everyone brings one piece of the plane along when they come to the airport. They all go out on the runway and put the plane together piece by piece, arguing non-stop about what kind of plane they are supposed to be building.

Air DOS

Everybody pushes the airplane until it glides, then they jump on and let the plane coast until it hits the ground again. Then they push again, jump on again, and so on...

Mac Airlines

All the stewards, captains, baggage handlers, and ticket agents look and act exactly the same. Every time you ask questions about details, you are gently but firmly told that you don't need to know, don't want to know, and everything will be done for you without your ever having to know, so just shut up.

Windows Air

The terminal is pretty and colourful, with friendly stewards, easy baggage check and boarding, and a smooth take-off. After about 10 minutes in the air, the plane explodes with no warning whatsoever.

Windows NT Air

Just like Windows Air, but costs more, uses much bigger planes, and takes out all the other aircraft within a 40-mile radius when it explodes.

Windows XP Air

You turn up at the airport,which is under contract to only allow XP Air planes. All the aircraft are identical, brightly coloured and three times as big as they need to be. The signs are huge and all point the same way. Whichever way you go, someone pops up dressed in a cloak and pointed hat insisting you follow him. Your luggage and clothes are taken off you and replaced with an XP Air suit and suitcase identical to everyone around you as this is included in the exorbitant ticket cost. The aircraft will not take off until you have signed a contract. The inflight entertainment promised turns out to be the same Mickey Mouse cartoon repeated over and over again. You have to phone your travel agent before you can have a meal or drink. You are searched regularly throughout the flight. If you go to the toilet twice or more you get charged for a new ticket. No matter what destination you booked you will always end up crash landing at Whistler in Canada.

Linux Air

Disgruntled employees of all the other OS airlines decide to start their own airline. They build the planes, ticket counters, and pave the runways themselves. They charge a small fee to cover the cost of printing the ticket, but you can also download and print the ticket yourself.

When you board the plane, you are given a seat, four bolts, a wrench and a copy of the seat-HOWTO.html. Once settled, the fully adjustable seat is very comfortable, the plane leaves and arrives on time without a single problem, the in-flight meal is wonderful. You try to tell customers of the other airlines about the great trip, but all they can say is, "You had to do what with the seat?"
__________________
snooggums' density principal: "The more dense a population, the more dense a population."

Iliana: "You're a great friend but if we're ever chased by zombies I'm tripping you."
ScratchMonkey is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-06-2009, 02:51 AM   #2 (permalink)
 
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: San Antonio, TX
Posts: 1,687
Tournaments Joined: 0
Tournaments Won: 0
Re: OS Humor

Classic! So true!
__________________
"Common sense is not so common." -Voltaire
War.mongeR1 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-07-2009, 12:42 AM   #3 (permalink)
 
Acreo Aeneas's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: DePaul University (Chicago)
Age: 23
Posts: 6,385
Tournaments Joined: 0
Tournaments Won: 0
Re: OS Humor

Wow, that was pretty good until the end. Then it felt like the whole piece was biased towards Linux only.

I don't agree with "Windows Air" and the exploding plane. It may have been true years ago when users were far less educated about PCs, but I think "crashing" might be more suitable.
__________________


WRT54GL v1.1 + Tomato 1.23 / Logitech MX1100 / Bamboo RSS
AA1-ZG5 (Ubuntu 9.04) / 1000HE / Wants mini-BeBook / Cowon D2 + S9


"I'd go get bent honestly!" - Vulcan to Trooper
"NOBODY wants to hear you breathe." - CingularDuality
"I kill myself most of the time. I don't stop for buildings..." - BeSiege
Acreo Aeneas is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-07-2009, 06:18 PM   #4 (permalink)
 
Benjamin385's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Utah
Posts: 45
Tournaments Joined: 0
Tournaments Won: 0
Re: OS Humor

ROFL x20
__________________
And when he get to heaven,
To Saint Peter he will tell;
One more soldier reporting sir
I've serve my time in hell
Benjamin385 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-09-2009, 03:31 PM   #5 (permalink)
 
DrunkenPirate's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Norfolk, England
Age: 30
Posts: 1,151
Tournaments Joined: 0
Tournaments Won: 0
Re: OS Humor

I was going to say "funny post" until I saw the obviously biased Linux stuff at the bottom.
__________________


POE2 Developer - FCW Server admin - BF2s.com admin

DrunkenPirate is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-09-2009, 06:11 PM   #6 (permalink)
 
machowner's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: TN
Posts: 3,531
Tournaments Joined: 0
Tournaments Won: 0
Re: OS Humor

Quote:
Originally Posted by DrunkenPirate View Post
I was going to say "funny post" until I saw the obviously biased Linux stuff at the bottom.
pretty much what went through my mind also
__________________




"Remember to pillage BEFORE you burn!"
machowner is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-10-2009, 10:04 AM   #7 (permalink)
 
El_Gringo_Grande's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: OKIE HOMY
Age: 41
Posts: 3,855
Tournaments Joined: 0
Tournaments Won: 0
Re: OS Humor

Let's not be too hard on the Linux people. All they really have is bad humor.
__________________
I’m not racists, I have republican friends. Radio show host.
- "The essence of tyranny is the denial of complexity". -Jacob Burkhardt
- "A foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds" - Emerson
- "People should not be afraid of it's government, government should be afraid of it's People." - Line from V for Vendetta
- If software were as unreliable as economic theory, there wouldn't be a plane made of anything other than paper that could get off the ground. Jim Fawcette
- "Let me now state what seems to me the decisive objection to any conservatism which deserves to be called such. It is that by its very nature it cannot offer an alternative to the direction in which we are moving." -Friedrich Hayek
El_Gringo_Grande is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-10-2009, 02:49 PM   #8 (permalink)
 
Acreo Aeneas's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: DePaul University (Chicago)
Age: 23
Posts: 6,385
Tournaments Joined: 0
Tournaments Won: 0
Re: OS Humor

Quote:
Originally Posted by El_Gringo_Grande View Post
Let's not be too hard on the Linux people. All they really have is bad humor.
*feels insulted but happy*
__________________


WRT54GL v1.1 + Tomato 1.23 / Logitech MX1100 / Bamboo RSS
AA1-ZG5 (Ubuntu 9.04) / 1000HE / Wants mini-BeBook / Cowon D2 + S9


"I'd go get bent honestly!" - Vulcan to Trooper
"NOBODY wants to hear you breathe." - CingularDuality
"I kill myself most of the time. I don't stop for buildings..." - BeSiege
Acreo Aeneas is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-11-2009, 06:43 PM   #9 (permalink)
 
ScratchMonkey's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: San Pablo, California
Age: 49
Posts: 6,706
Tournaments Joined: 0
Tournaments Won: 0
Re: OS Humor

__________________
snooggums' density principal: "The more dense a population, the more dense a population."

Iliana: "You're a great friend but if we're ever chased by zombies I'm tripping you."
ScratchMonkey is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-13-2009, 07:34 PM   #10 (permalink)
 
Acreo Aeneas's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: DePaul University (Chicago)
Age: 23
Posts: 6,385
Tournaments Joined: 0
Tournaments Won: 0
Re: OS Humor

Nice one. The paper clip mockup of the one in Word and physical windows.
__________________


WRT54GL v1.1 + Tomato 1.23 / Logitech MX1100 / Bamboo RSS
AA1-ZG5 (Ubuntu 9.04) / 1000HE / Wants mini-BeBook / Cowon D2 + S9


"I'd go get bent honestly!" - Vulcan to Trooper
"NOBODY wants to hear you breathe." - CingularDuality
"I kill myself most of the time. I don't stop for buildings..." - BeSiege
Acreo Aeneas is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-13-2009, 10:30 PM   #11 (permalink)


 
Damonte's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Cincinnati, OH
Age: 30
Posts: 2,094
Tournaments Joined: 0
Tournaments Won: 0
Re: OS Humor

Jokes aren't as funny if you have to explain the punchline.
__________________
|TG-Mth| Damonte

TG Primer | BF2142 Server Rules | BF2142 SOP's
Contact a 2142 Admin | Join the Irregulars!




Proud to have been an IRRegular!
Quote of the Month: If you have to draw your knife it means you have made a mistake.
Damonte is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-13-2009, 10:37 PM   #12 (permalink)
 
Acreo Aeneas's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: DePaul University (Chicago)
Age: 23
Posts: 6,385
Tournaments Joined: 0
Tournaments Won: 0
Re: OS Humor

Quote:
Originally Posted by Damonte View Post
Jokes aren't as funny if you have to explain the punchline.
>.> Don't spoil the laughter.
__________________


WRT54GL v1.1 + Tomato 1.23 / Logitech MX1100 / Bamboo RSS
AA1-ZG5 (Ubuntu 9.04) / 1000HE / Wants mini-BeBook / Cowon D2 + S9


"I'd go get bent honestly!" - Vulcan to Trooper
"NOBODY wants to hear you breathe." - CingularDuality
"I kill myself most of the time. I don't stop for buildings..." - BeSiege
Acreo Aeneas is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Bookmarks

Tags
airlines, humor, linux, mac, operating systems


Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off




» Log in
User Name:

Password:

Not a member yet?
Register Now!
» Advertisement



All times are GMT -4. The time now is 02:12 PM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.2
Copyright ©2000 - 2009, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Search Engine Optimization by vBSEO 3.2.0
©2004-2008 - Tactical Gamer - All Rights Reserved