Augustus Gloop

The little town that time forgot and the decades cannot improve. Where all the women are strong, all the men are good-looking, and all the children are above average.

Well, it's been an exciting week in Lake Chocolat, Yerytia, my hometown, out in the middle of nowhere.

Following the beginner's guide, I quickly began work on my Academy, and like magic, several bearded fools with slide-rules and ink on their fingers immediately got to work arguing about the best way to bring water to my dear Chocolates. They eventually got down to brass tacks, throwing terms like "water table" and "squaw's work", before announcing that the best method would be to dig a hole in the ground.

I had them all put to the sword.

Unfortunately, the next group of enlightened scholars eventually came up with the same idea, and research on this new fangled hole in the ground has commenced.

Then we all sat around and stared at one another until I realized I had gold and wood to spare! We immediately threw up a barracks so that the drunken revelry (military training) could commence as soon as my citizens get with the reproducing. Perhaps I should have invested more in erotic toys.

Once the barracks was complete, we began work on a port, since that seems to be the best way to bring supplies in and out of my little town, and our alcohol is running a bit low. Experiments have been made in inhaling the smoke of nearby plant life, but with all the scholars wrapped up in the logistics of digging a damn hole in the ground, progress has been slow.

The prospect of more alcohol put some fire into the boys, and the port almost sprang into being. We then turned our attention to expanding the town hall, reasoning that we'd need more space if we were going to give each woman in town her own living space, to stop them nagging at us if nothing else.

Well, this has been another episode of Town Chocolate Days, the little town that time forgot and the decades cannot improve. Where all the women are strong, all the men are good-looking, and all the children are above average.

Join us next time as we try out our our brand new hole in the ground...

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Rincewind

Lake Wobegon would be an excellent name for a town

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~~ Veritas simplex oratio est ~~
No matter how far a wizard goes, he will always come back for his hat. --T. Pratchett

<---- You know you're getting old when you rely on your forum meta-data to remind you how old you are.

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Augustus Gloop

The little town that time forgot and the decades cannot improve. Where all the women are strong, all the men are good-looking, and all the children are above average.

This "well" is working out just fine! The Chocolates are delighted that they don't have to brave the Deep Forest of Many Dangers just to take a bath (which between you and me they didn't encounter too often), and it's such a time saving device that we had time to build a port and a warehouse! Since we're rich in clean clothes and drinking water now, we immediately purchased 3 boats, one of which was run aground in a regrettable wine related incident, and trained three slingers for defense and to raid a nearby Polis[i].

There was much singing and dancing in Chocolat (and shaking and crying from the troops) as the first three expert slingers ever produced were sent off on a raid to the other side of the island. We carefully checked the census for military might, and realized they were sitting ducks. The ships of war left ten minutes ago, and we eagerly await the results!

Meanwhile, we've trained one more slinger, because the women of Chocolat get a little complacent without a zing about the buttocks region every so often. Also, because it wouldn't do to leave the town undefended! One noble slinger should be able to handle just about anything the world can throw at us, right?

Well, this has been another episode of Town Chocolate Days, the little town that time forgot and the decades cannot improve. Where all the women are strong, all the men are good-looking, and all the children are above average.

Edit:


Join us next time as we count our ill gotten gains...

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Augustus Gloop

The little town that time forgot and the decades cannot improve. Where all the women are strong, all the men are good-looking, and all the children are above average.

Snakeville turned out to be a town full of lumberjacks, and they didn't care... that our slingers were looting them blind! Mindful of the prohibition on raiding too many times, our mighty Chocolate army stole around 1000 logs and then returned to drink the wine of victory! Sneaky raiders apparently stole all our our inhibitions, and the resulting population boom has nearly filled our Town hall! Architects are currently planning an expansion, but possibly not until we've worked out all the bugs in our visionary vibrating bed prototype.

Being in the military has become quite fashionable, and our slinger forces have expanded to 40 strong! Leaders were quite worried about finding work for our intrepid young warriors when it was discovered that Snakeville, much like the legendary Lost Colony of Roanoake, had disappeared without a trace! Fortunately, surveys of the island have recently uncovered Caticus(i), which is also undefended, and although easily raidable, returns about 5 gold per expedition! This sad state of affairs was not relieved even when we tried a raid on a neighboring island, which returned some very interesting varieties of loot, but not nearly in an amount that would be worthwhile. The army has been put on a state of defensive leave until a new vict... opportunity presents itself.

Meanwhile, we've expanded the research facilities for our old grey fools twice more, and hired a bunch more of them on the promise that they would spend more time studying and less time chasing co-eds. They've flown through a number of simple projects in that time, and are currently trying to figure out how to expand our empire into our first colony! We're holding a town wide contest to come up with a name for the new colony, and so far we've only had to execute two Chocolates for improper suggestions. I am very pleased.

Some more xenophobic members of the town have clamored for and received permission to begin building a town wall. We plan to expand it as fast as possible to keep out those that would try and pluck my fruits like little bon-bons. Keeping Chocolat inviolate remains our highest priority, although we've managed to build a little trading post, there seems to be no one within range of our merchants as yet.

We've been in contact with a delightful town run by Kormendi, and his kind overtures of friendship have been welcomed and replied to in kind. At a mere 4 hours and 20 minutes travel time, I expect many Chocolates will be taking day trips to picnic and shop in his lovely metropolis.

Well, this has been another episode of Town Chocolate Days, the little town that time forgot and the decades cannot improve. Where all the women are strong, all the men are good-looking, and all the children are above average.

Join us next time as we figure out the intricate delights of Espionage, and begin a spy empire that will make even the mighty wonder who might be listening to their very thoughts...

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Augustus Gloop

The little town that time forgot and the decades cannot improve. Where all the women are strong, all the men are good-looking, and all the children are above average.

We have a spy! SHHHH. We have a spy. He lurks about town listening to my good Chocolates and reporting any off color comments about how the town council is doing, or suspected sympathies for the nearby towns and their folk. We immediately published an article in the newspaper about how we do not condone spying, and never will have any spies. My Chocolates have been so well behaved lately, although they are tripping and falling more as they seem to be glancing over their shoulders so often now. My spy's code name is Dark Chocolate of course, but his real name is so well hidden even I don't know what it is.

My gray bearded, supposedly "learned" researchers have been shameless of late, demanding more supplies, more space, more concubines... and yet the research goes so slowly! I have been patient up until now, giving them all that they ask in order to speed these discoveries that are so important. Thanks to a generous donation of this wondrous Glass from my TGA neighbor Kormendi, that is so sparse hereabouts, I have been able to give them what they ask, but now they shall deliver or I will know the reason why. Despite all these generous grants, we are still 15 hours from discovering the exact method of exchanging greetings with another town without provoking war. Perhaps I shall have two of them put to the sword, just as an incentive to the others. It hurts us all when even a few are lazy.

On the other hand, the proud boys of our military have been something of a delight to me and their mothers! Raid after Pillaging raid on the foul, dirty, and barbaric (but rich) denizens of nearby Amn has ended in an "all you can carry!" shopping spree of gold and precious, sturdy wood. For some variety I sent the boys to visit nearby Sparta. I went along myself and when their pathetic slinger tried to stop us I kicked him in the face and yelled "THIS. IS. CHOCOLAT!" Sparta is henceforth known for their surplus wood and cowardly soldiers. Victory Parades every day!

Our merchants have met with some sparse but rather spectacular success as well, leading me to expand the size of their market several times. Nearby sucke... customers have bought large amounts of wood and marble from me for (what I consider) an exorbitant sum, 10 gold per wood and 20 gold per marble! I recently had to raise the price of my wood, since I'm the only person offering it, and I can't keep my shelves stocked. The merchants are fat and happy, and I'm thinking of changing the town motto to "A fool and his money are soon parted!"

Well, this has been another episode of Town Chocolate Days, the little town that time forgot and the decades cannot improve. Where all the women are strong, all the men are good-looking, and all the children are above average.

Join us next time as we discover just how this "Embassy" might be put to good use...

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Augustus Gloop

The little town that time forgot and the decades cannot improve. Where all the women are strong, all the men are good-looking, and all the children are above average.

It has been some time since we last visited Chocolat, the lovely jewel upon the confectioner's sugar beaches of windswept Yerytia isle. Many changes have been wrought, and the sleepy little town is now a bit of the bustling metropolis. New towers overlook the lonely sea, and the spun sugar sandy beaches. My beloved Chocolates have cast off a little of their provincial veneer and have assumed a slightly more worldly air. Our local tavern, The Cherry Cordial, has been holding open floor nights, and an underground beat poetry society has been plaguing our street corners. In addition, some hardier Chocolates have founded a new colony on the nearby island Lluisaos, famed for the sweetness of its grapes and the beauty of its forests. Our sister town is called Truffle, and will figure in to some of our future stories.

Our new growth and prosperity has brought with it more than superficial cultural changes, Chocolat, and to a lesser extent, Truffle, have become centers of trade, and merchants come from far away to sample our sales and bargains. In the interests of good relations with our inferior neighbors, we have also become quite the philanthropists, donating materials to the local socialist commune, who "own" and opperate the local quarry, vinyard and sawmills.

We have burst dramatically onto the international stage with many daring raids, and shrewed trades in foreign markets. We have built a massive structure for housing and maintaining massive ships of war, and begun a program that will result in complete dominaton of the entire ocean. Admiral Veruca Salt has made the Ballista class flagship "Moonpie" her home, and has already forced one attacking fleet to flee in terror of the dreaded watery fate. We continue to expand the fleet as often as we can come up with suitable gourmet candy names that inspire terror in foolish would-be attackers.

This bold and exciting expansion of our military technology has led our raids further afield, and the riches we have brought home by strength of arm and stalwart courage have been proceeded by successful foreign ops by Dark Chocolate and the covert team he has assembled, the suave and deadly "Mixed Nuts". Using a combination of charm on the ladies, and a stealthy knife in the dark, intel is stolen, seduced, and negotiated upon pain of death.

Well, this has been another episode of Town Chocolate Days, the little town that time forgot and the decades cannot improve. Where all the women are strong, all the men are good-looking, and all the children are above average.

Join us next time as we go afield with Dark Chocolate on one of his daring missions of sabotage and sweet, sweet seduction...

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Rincewind

Keep it up!

__________________
~~ Veritas simplex oratio est ~~
No matter how far a wizard goes, he will always come back for his hat. --T. Pratchett

<---- You know you're getting old when you rely on your forum meta-data to remind you how old you are.

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westyfield

Augustus, if I could, I would +rep you...

Like Rincewind said, keep it up, this is great!

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sc1ence

I have no clue about this game, but that was fun to read.

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jb4

This game is a lot of fun and as many, can be addicting.
I would tell you more, but I have to get back to checking the status of my transport ships.

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Hunter

I just got an account! My town is called Polis (was I able to choose a name or can I change it later btw?) and it's on the island Lyeeutia.

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"Video games develop hand-eye coordination, and make kids into better human beings!" - Prof. Membrane

Augustus Gloop

You can change it now if you like, by clicking on your town hall building and looking at the upper right corner of the information section. Welcome to Ikariam!

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Hunter

Yup, just saw that. And thanks!

My town is called Crimson Eve now.

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"Video games develop hand-eye coordination, and make kids into better human beings!" - Prof. Membrane