I have noticed the media and police have suppressed the real issue here.

The no-mans-land between Portsmouth and Southampton is the un-discussed battle zone for many years. Some say it is tourism and the British Governments' desire to suppress any bad news to the outside world.

People on both sides disapear, only to be found the next day in a bin and what they describe as "an extraordinary hangover like headache". It's been dire for the locals with warlords infiltrating the hearts of the people to switch sides for mercenary gains. One notorious warlord called Rednapp got so good at it one part of the unofficial battle lines is called the Red zone, where you can 'take a nap', to put it into British Hint Syndrome.

Incidentally Hint Syndrome was first recorded in about 1789 in the Portsmouth area, where a small boat floated up to the harbour and shouted to all the sailors that their hoard warriors of Le Tissier and The Sheringham owned the whole of Portsmouth and to hand over HMS Victory. Well the Royal Artillary boys decided to show them and fired their guns at them to the tune of Westminster Chimes, singing "Play Up Pompey", as a mark of complete and utter disdain.

This feud at one time pitted The Venerable Venables, 'beloved leader and warrior to all', and 'notable scholar of Catalonians and Britons' against The Sheringham, who were blood brothers, and adored by the people, as good eggs, wise and simply the best ever. This is telling, since El Tel (nickname due to his hispanic links) and Sheringham both were to escape prosecution at the same time on this basis, and both now have disppeared into legend, though it is said The Sheringham still invokes all that is glorious, and is whispered in such tones.

The Rednapp clan were first recorded in the area 25 years later in an Lieutenant Officers' report, which apparently is shrouded in mystery. However an Oxford scholar who was having an academic battle with some Cambridge guy to release their notion first, came to offer proof that the 'shrouded mystery' was more to do with clandestine meetings of Rednapps and local navy and soldiery - and the local 'wenches they be of real splendour' (I only got to hear about this as I live in Oxford and stumbled on this Oxford type guy once, that thinking about now, it was 'a bit more than wild ranting' that I had put down to freshers week which lasts about.. ohh.. 52 weeks?. Much more sinister things afoot methinks. <He never even mentioned all the ultra babes walking about, for example>). This lead, he says, to the Great Migration, where Britons caught wind of 'bits they doth make a man go mad with gumption', and all headed down to the south coast. He even went further to say a part of Nelsons' speech at a Portsmouth peer, his last foot in Britain, was suppressed: "They're this way lads".

Quite frankly I believe it.

However the men of the towns have embroiled themselves in this unsaid all out war in a protection of 'their kin folk'. Anyone joining the services in the UK never have worked out why in enrolment the question "Do you come from Pompey" has been put in.

The video released was actually on the Red Zone. The guys in it are all part of the Rednapp clan, practising their incorporation ritual. To put it briefly, living in Southampton and Portmouth is hazardous after leaving the pubs, one wrong turn and you are in the drink. It is said, that the wild people of the Isle of White is a hybrid of those that bobbed over from both towns and survived. There, they say their women are even more scrumptious. Of course, the media release was converted into some driving offence – that is part of the plan from the Government to hoodwink the world and its own people.

Many think the British Government allow the fighting to continue, in order to get the best bits for themselves. It is a notable fact that Wicks doesn't say much about his job - if he is even telling the truth- and any time you mention the Isle of White, he starts talking randomly about crazy stuff like wondering what the time is in the North Pole, do the Galapagos Penguins in the equatorial line prefer to speak Spanish or Portuguese, and why is his headset playing Radio 2?. All very odd.

I'd like to add, considering the sensitive nature of this, and that communications are intercepted; if I disappear, it is either a) I am on the run to France to tell them emphatically that their women are best (which they are), or b) They got me (Dear Sirs or Madams. In advance of your apprehension, can I have number 21, La Fayette st, Isle of White pls).