Tae Kwon Leap

**Skylark** · 04-29-2008, 02:11 AM

There is a thread in general about fun exercise and I posted about martial arts was the answer for me. That lead me to remember this:

For the mp3

Master: Approach students. Close the circle at the feet of the master. You have come to me asking that I be your guide along the path of tae-kwon-leep, but be warned. To learn its ways, you must learn the ways of your own soul. Let us meditate on this wisdom now.

Ed: Uh sir... sir... ooo! ooo! Sir!

Master: Who disturbs our meditation as a pebble disturbs a pond?

Ed: Me. Ed Gooberman.

Master: E... Ed Gooberman.

Ed: Yeah. No disrespect or nothing, but like how long is this going to take?

Master: Tae-Kwon-Leep is not a path to a door, but a road leading forever towards the horizon.

Ed: So like, what, an hour or so?

Master: No, no. We have not even begun upon the path. Ed Gooberman, you must learn patience.

Ed: Yeah, yeah, patience. How long will that take?

Master: Time has no meaning. To a true student, a year is as a day.

Ed: A year?! I wanna beat people up right now! I got the pajamas. Ha..yo...wa... wooo!

Master: Beat people up?

Ed: Yeah, just show me all those nifty moves so I can start trashing bozo's. That's all I came here for. Yo-as-ta-ta-shah! Pretty good aye?

Master: The only use of Tae-Kwon-Leep is self defense. Do you know who said that? Ki-lo-knee, the great teacher.

Ed: Yeah, well the best defense is a good o-fense. Do you know who said that? Mel, the cook on Alice.

Master: Well, umm... Tae-Kwon Leep is the wine of purity, not the vinigar of hostility. Meditate on this truth with us. Ahhh.... ohhhhh....

Ed: Listen shrimp, now are you gonna show me those nifty moves, or am I gonna start waping the walls with you?

Master: Ed Gooberman, you fail to grasp Tae-Kwon Leep. Approach me so that you may see.

Ed: Alright, finally some action.

Master: Observe closely class. Boot to the Head [boom].
Ed: Ow, you booted me in the head!

Master: You are lucky Ed Gooberman. Few novices experiece so much of Tae-Kwon Leep so soon.

Ed: Ow, oh, my head.

Master: Now we continue.

Ed: Hey, hey, I wasn't ready! Come and get me now, come on, are you chicken?

Master: Boot to the head [boom].
Ed: Ow! Okay, now I'm ready, come on, try it now.
Master: Boot to the head [boom].

Ed: Mind if I just lie down here for a minute? Ow.

Master: Now class, we shall return to our...

Student 1: Master.

Master: It is wrong to tip the vessle of knowledge student.

Student 1: Many apologies master, but I feel Ed Gooberman is not wholly wrong.

Master: What do you mean?

Student 1: I want to boot some head too.
Master: Have you learned nothing from the lesson of Ed Gooberman?

Student 1: Yes master, I have learned two things. First, that anger is a weapon only to ones oppenent.

Master: Very good.

Student 1: And get in the first shot. Boot to the head [half a boom].
Master: You missed.

Student 1: Uh, yeah, well ...

Master: You to shall be honored to learn a lesson.

Student 1: Ya know, I can... you don't have to ya know... I gotta be going....

Master: Boot to the Head [boom].

Student 1: ooo...ya.. ehh... ooooogggg... awwwwww

Master: Can anyone tell us what lesson has been learned here?

Student 2: Uh, yes master, not a single one of could defeat you.

Master: You gain wisdom child.

Student 2: So we'll have to gang up on you! Get him now!

Master: Boot... [boom]... boot to... [boom]... ht.. [boom], [boom], [boom] [boom] [boom], [boom] [boom]... [boom]

Master: And now class, let us rejoin the mind to the body, and gaze into the heart of the candle in meditation. Ahh... owwww....

Students: ahhh... oooooowwwww.....

Master: Very good, class.

HSantal · 04-29-2008, 01:01 PM

Lesson learned?

Never screw with the Master.

**FrankManik** · 04-29-2008, 01:13 PM

My Tae-kwon-do classes were never that interesting or worthwhile. Mostly I learned that Taekwondo is great if you're a small, fast person who likes kicking, and not much use at all if you're a tall, slow person who tends to fall over.

**Long Bow** · 04-29-2008, 01:27 PM

My classes in martial arts have also taught me to avoid being the demonstration student unless I'm tossing my instructor. Being on the recieving end of a demonstration usually sucks, lesson learned.

bkelly · 04-30-2008, 01:19 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Skylark

That lead me to remember this:

People talking in movie shows,
People smoking in bed,
People voting Republican,
Give them a boot to the head!

ScratchMonkey · 04-30-2008, 04:49 PM

The WoW machinima version:

04-29-2008, 02:11 AM	#1 (permalink)
Skylark Join Date: May 2003 Location: Kansas City area (U.S.A.) Age: 36 Posts: 649	Tae Kwon Leap There is a thread in general about fun exercise and I posted about martial arts was the answer for me. That lead me to remember this: For the mp3 Master: Approach students. Close the circle at the feet of the master. You have come to me asking that I be your guide along the path of tae-kwon-leep, but be warned. To learn its ways, you must learn the ways of your own soul. Let us meditate on this wisdom now. Ed: Uh sir... sir... ooo! ooo! Sir! Master: Who disturbs our meditation as a pebble disturbs a pond? Ed: Me. Ed Gooberman. Master: E... Ed Gooberman. Ed: Yeah. No disrespect or nothing, but like how long is this going to take? Master: Tae-Kwon-Leep is not a path to a door, but a road leading forever towards the horizon. Ed: So like, what, an hour or so? Master: No, no. We have not even begun upon the path. Ed Gooberman, you must learn patience. Ed: Yeah, yeah, patience. How long will that take? Master: Time has no meaning. To a true student, a year is as a day. Ed: A year?! I wanna beat people up right now! I got the pajamas. Ha..yo...wa... wooo! Master: Beat people up? Ed: Yeah, just show me all those nifty moves so I can start trashing bozo's. That's all I came here for. Yo-as-ta-ta-shah! Pretty good aye? Master: The only use of Tae-Kwon-Leep is self defense. Do you know who said that? Ki-lo-knee, the great teacher. Ed: Yeah, well the best defense is a good o-fense. Do you know who said that? Mel, the cook on Alice. Master: Well, umm... Tae-Kwon Leep is the wine of purity, not the vinigar of hostility. Meditate on this truth with us. Ahhh.... ohhhhh.... Ed: Listen shrimp, now are you gonna show me those nifty moves, or am I gonna start waping the walls with you? Master: Ed Gooberman, you fail to grasp Tae-Kwon Leep. Approach me so that you may see. Ed: Alright, finally some action. Master: Observe closely class. Boot to the Head [boom]. Ed: Ow, you booted me in the head! Master: You are lucky Ed Gooberman. Few novices experiece so much of Tae-Kwon Leep so soon. Ed: Ow, oh, my head. Master: Now we continue. Ed: Hey, hey, I wasn't ready! Come and get me now, come on, are you chicken? Master: Boot to the head [boom]. Ed: Ow! Okay, now I'm ready, come on, try it now. Master: Boot to the head [boom]. Ed: Mind if I just lie down here for a minute? Ow. Master: Now class, we shall return to our... Student 1: Master. Master: It is wrong to tip the vessle of knowledge student. Student 1: Many apologies master, but I feel Ed Gooberman is not wholly wrong. Master: What do you mean? Student 1: I want to boot some head too. Master: Have you learned nothing from the lesson of Ed Gooberman? Student 1: Yes master, I have learned two things. First, that anger is a weapon only to ones oppenent. Master: Very good. Student 1: And get in the first shot. Boot to the head [half a boom]. Master: You missed. Student 1: Uh, yeah, well ... Master: You to shall be honored to learn a lesson. Student 1: Ya know, I can... you don't have to ya know... I gotta be going.... Master: Boot to the Head [boom]. Student 1: ooo...ya.. ehh... ooooogggg... awwwwww Master: Can anyone tell us what lesson has been learned here? Student 2: Uh, yes master, not a single one of could defeat you. Master: You gain wisdom child. Student 2: So we'll have to gang up on you! Get him now! Master: Boot... [boom]... boot to... [boom]... ht.. [boom], [boom], [boom] [boom] [boom], [boom] [boom]... [boom] Master: And now class, let us rejoin the mind to the body, and gaze into the heart of the candle in meditation. Ahh... owwww.... Students: ahhh... oooooowwwww..... Master: Very good, class. __________________ "I've TKed better men then you, and I wasn't even trying!" BF2142 toons SkylarkAssault Skylark28 (Support) Snipelark (Recon) Eng.Skylark (Engineer)

04-29-2008, 01:01 PM	#2 (permalink)
HSantal Join Date: May 2003 Location: Ontario, Canada Age: 52 Posts: 1,005	Re: Tae Kwon Leap Lesson learned? Never screw with the Master. __________________ I do what I can. cpgf: (n.) Acronym describing a significant other who has not yet acheived full spousal status and is in possession of a cable modem; of note because at YOUR house, you still have dial-up -- and crappy dialup at that.

04-29-2008, 01:13 PM	#3 (permalink)
FrankManik Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: Minneapolis Posts: 193	Re: Tae Kwon Leap My Tae-kwon-do classes were never that interesting or worthwhile. Mostly I learned that Taekwondo is great if you're a small, fast person who likes kicking, and not much use at all if you're a tall, slow person who tends to fall over.

04-29-2008, 01:27 PM	#4 (permalink)
Long Bow Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: Ontario, Canada Age: 29 Posts: 1,062	Re: Tae Kwon Leap My classes in martial arts have also taught me to avoid being the demonstration student unless I'm tossing my instructor. Being on the recieving end of a demonstration usually sucks, lesson learned. __________________

04-30-2008, 04:49 PM	#6 (permalink)
ScratchMonkey Join Date: Aug 2005 Location: San Pablo, California Posts: 3,506	Re: Tae Kwon Leap The WoW machinima version: __________________ Sig

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