Benny_

In a nice light hearted poke at Bush....

Dear President Bush,

Congratulations on your election victory and for doing so much to educate people regarding God's Law. I have learned a great deal from you and understand why you would propose and support a constitutional amendment banning same sex marriage.

Ever since you said "in the eyes of God marriage is based between a man a woman", I try to share that knowledge with as many people as I can.

When someone tries to defend the homosexual lifestyle, for example, I simply remind them that Leviticus 18:22 clearly states it to be an abomination. End of debate.

However, I DO need some advice from you regarding some other elements of God's Laws and how best to follow them.

1.) Leviticus 25:44 states that I may possess slaves, both male and female, provided they are purchased from neighbouring nations. A friend of mine claims that this applies to Mexicans, but not Canadians. Can you clarify?
Why can't I own Canadians?

2.) I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in Exodus 21:7. In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair price for her?

3.) I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her period of menstrual uncleanness (Lev.15:19-24). The problem is, how do I tell? I have tried asking, but most women take offence.

4.) When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a pleasing odour for the Lord (Lev.1:9). The problem is my neighbours. They claim the odour is not pleasing to them. Should I smite them?

5.) I have a neighbour who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2 clearly states he should be put to death. Am I morally obliged to kill him myself, or should I ask the police to do it?

6.) A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an abomination (Lev.11:10), it is a lesser abomination than homosexuality. I don't know if I agree. Can you settle this? Are there 'degrees' of abomination?

7.) Lev.21:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I have a defect in my sight or damaged testicles. I have to admit that I wear reading glasses and I have had a vasectomy. Does my vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wriggle-room here?

8.) Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the hair around their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden by Lev.19:27.
How should they die?

9.) I know from Lev. 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig makes me unclean, but may I still play football if I wear gloves?

10.) My uncle has a farm. He violates Lev.19:19 by planting two different crops in the same field, as does his wife by wearing garments made of two different kinds of thread (cotton/polyester blend). He also tends to curse and blaspheme a lot. Is it really necessary that we go to all the trouble of getting the whole town together to stone them (Lev.24:10-16)? Couldn't we just burn them to death at a private family affair, like we do with people who sleep with their in-laws (Lev.20:14)?

I know you have studied these things extensively and thus enjoy considerable expertise in such matters, so I am confident you can help.

Thank you again for reminding us that God's word is eternal and unchanging.

CingularDuality

Ah, yes, that's an oldie, but a goodie!

"Should I smite them?" LOL!

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CingularDuality

Funny, this came up in one of the other forums that I read: http://www.click-here-to-view.4x2.net/

I remember the little religious tracts that I used to hate, 'cause they'd stick 'em under your windshield wipers and in cracked car windows and the parking lots would be littered with them.

Now they're just littering the internet...

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HairyNevus

That was very funny, Benny_.

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GhostintheShell

If Bush is so religious why doesn't he go to church every Sunday? Just a question...

Pokerface

Because when you lead the free world, church can come to you.
I'd imagine he has a priest of some kind wander into the White House every now and again.

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Apophis

I think that his faith is important to him, but personally I feel that those who dislike Bush tend to overstate his religious beliefs more than he does. During the debates I heard John Kerry bring up religion and his faith more than Bush did, yet the left would constantly be talking about the President's religion and making you believe he carried a bible with him wherever he went.

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luna

I remember that in the debates also. Kerry was going on and on about how he was a Catholic and such, whereas Bush didn't touch the subject. He didn't even use it to defend his stance on gay marriage, which I personally found pretty impressive. I expected the bible thumping to get out of control on that topic.

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GhostintheShell

I guess he could have a private family service at the White House that isn't publicly known about. Other past Presidents have regularily and publicly attended local Washington churches.

Wolfie

Maybe he doesn't like the local priests? Usually you go to a church with a priest/preacher that you like and will enjoy listening to, not one that is close by or "good picture opportunity"

DudeMan

I WANDER IF HE WOULD GREET THAT PRIEST IN THE SAME WAY HE WOULD GREET A MULIM OR JEWISH LEADER?

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"Those who perpetrate these brutal acts against innocent people should know that they will not change our way of life,"
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"Guns don't kill people: effeminate men in green tunics do"

_Ender_

I think your caps key is stuck again...

CingularDuality

Huh? No, I highly doubt that the President would greet his own priest in the same way as he would greet any other christian, muslim or jewish leader... One obviously involves beliefs on a personal level, while the others obviously involve beliefs on a political level.

Unfortunately, it's been shown that the President is pretty convinced that christian beliefs are what this country needs, regardless of whether or not it goes against other Americans' beliefs...

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DudeMan

well what a waste of time.

next stupid comment sir.

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The Queen
"Those who perpetrate these brutal acts against innocent people should know that they will not change our way of life,"
Atrocities such as these simply reinforce our sense of community

TheFeniX
"Guns don't kill people: effeminate men in green tunics do"

DudeMan

so what your saying is he is stubbon and arrogant.

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The Queen
"Those who perpetrate these brutal acts against innocent people should know that they will not change our way of life,"
Atrocities such as these simply reinforce our sense of community

TheFeniX
"Guns don't kill people: effeminate men in green tunics do"