CingularDuality

Canada Ousts Liberals - Canada busy sending back Bush-dodgers.

The flood of American liberals sneaking across the border into Canada has
intensified in the past week, sparking calls for increased patrols to stop the
illegal immigration.

The re-election of President Bush is prompting the exodus among left-leaning
citizens who fear they'll soon be required to hunt, pray and agree with Bill
O'Reilly.

Canadian border farmers say it's not uncommon to see dozens of sociology
professors, animal-rights activists and Unitarians crossing their fields at night.

"I went out to milk the cows the other day, and there was a Hollywood
producer huddled in the barn," said Manitoba farmer Red Greenfield, whose
acreage borders North Dakota.

The producer was cold, exhausted and hungry. "He asked me if I could spare a
latte and some free-range chicken. When I said I didn't have any, he left.
Didn't even get a chance to show him my screenplay, eh?"

In an effort to stop the illegal aliens, Greenfield erected higher fences,
but the liberals scaled them. So he tried installing speakers that blare Rush
Limbaugh across the fields. "Not real effective," he said. "The liberals still
got through, and Rush annoyed the cows so much they
wouldn't give milk."

Officials are particularly concerned about smugglers who meet liberals near
the Canadian border, pack them into Volvo station wagons, drive them across the
border and leave them to fend for themselves.

"A lot of these people are not prepared for rugged conditions," an Ontario
border patrolman said. "I found one carload without a drop of drinking water.
They did have a nice little Napa Valley cabernet, though."

When liberals are caught, they're sent back across the border, often wailing
loudly that they fear retribution from conservatives. Rumors have been
circulating about the Bush administration establishing re-education camps in which
liberals will be forced to drink domestic beer and watch NASCAR.

In the days since the election, liberals have turned to sometimes-ingenious
ways of crossing the border. Some have taken to posing as senior citizens on
bus trips to buy cheap Canadian prescription drugs.

After catching a half-dozen young vegans disguised in powdered wigs, Canadian
immigration authorities began stopping buses and quizzing the supposed
senior-citizen
passengers. "If they can't identify the accordion player on The Lawrence Welk
Show, we get suspicious about their age," an official said.

Canadian citizens have complained that the illegal immigrants are creating
and organic-broccoli shortage and renting all the good Susan Sarandon movies.

"I feel sorry for American liberals, but the Canadian economy just can't
support them," an Ottawa resident said. "How many art-history majors does one
country need?"

In an effort to ease tensions between the United States and Canada, Vice
President Dick Cheney met with the Canadian ambassador and pledged that the
administration would take steps to reassure liberals, a source close to Cheney said.

"We're going to have some Peter, Paul & Mary concerts. And we might put some
endangered species on postage stamps. The president is determined to reach
out."

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TacticalGamer TX LAN/BBQ Veteran:

CingularDuality

http://www.cnn.com/2004/WORLD/americ....ap/index.html

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HSantal

Just goes to show, once again, that

Canada Rocks

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Nightfire

yes HSantal, Canada is a nice place and I love Canada.

However, I think the Liberals are big cowards who can not face the facts. Bush won, and deal with another four years with him. (yes i voted for bush)

drew_952

Yea, but usually Liberals invade the _correct_ country.....small detail there.

TheFeniX

Wait.... Canada is it's own country!? I thought they were the 51st state.

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luna

Canada is it's own country... for now. *giggle*

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Resurgent's New Motivational Motto:
"Now train harder! Live inside your character! If it dies, YOU DIE! Focus!"

Jesus had a soulstone.

leejo

Canada: the USA's lesbian sister.

=DdogG=

Canada:


it's like a vacation from civilization.


Canada:


where you kill what you eat, skin what you wear, and give birth to your husband.



Canada:


Who the heck decided ice could be sold as real estate?


Canada:


We invented it, America stole and perfected it, Japan mass produced it, Europe sold it back to us @ 10 times the price.


Canada:


Oh, you were serious?



Canada:


The little nerd you see on the flag pole hanging by his underroos.

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The two most common elements in the universe are Hydrogen and stupidity. -Harlan Ellison

If all else fails: "rm -rf /"

Wintermute

That would be us, at least according to the movie...

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Wintermute

Play EVE online. It's like being an accounting addict in space.

www.MakePovertyHistory.com

TheFeniX

"Canadian Bacon" rocked.

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