HSantal

Andy Rooney's tips for telemarketers

Three Little Words That Work !!

(1) The three little words are: "Hold On, Please..."

Saying this, while putting down your phone and walking off (instead of
hanging-up immediately) would make each telemarketing call so much
more time-consuming that boiler room sales would grind to a halt.

Then when you eventually hear the phone company's "beep-beep-beep"
tone, you know it's time to go back and hang up your handset, which has
efficiently completed its task.

These three little words will help eliminate telephone soliciting.

(2) Do you ever get those annoying phone calls with no one on the
other end?

This is a telemarketing technique where a machine makes phone
calls and records the time of day when a person answers the phone.

This technique is used to determine the best time of day for a "real"
sales person to call back and get someone at home.

What you can do after answering, if you notice there is no one there,
is to immediately start hitting your # button on the phone, 6 or 7
times, as quickly as possible. This confuses the machine that dialed the
call and it kicks your number out of their system.

Since doing this, my phone calls have decreased dramatically.

(3) Another Good Idea:

When you get "ads" enclosed with your phone or utility bill, return
these "ads" with your payment. Let the sending companies throw
their own junk mail away.

When you get those "pre-approved" letters in the mail for everything
from credit cards to 2nd mortgages and similar type junk, do not throw
away the return envelope.

Most of these come with postage-paid return envelopes, right? It costs
them more than the regular 37cents postage "IF" and when they
receive them back.

It costs them nothing if you throw them away! The postage was
around 50 cents before the last increase and it is according to the
weight. In that case, why not get rid of some of your other junk mail and put it
in these cool little, postage-paid return envelopes. One of Andy Rooney's
(60 minutes) ideas. Send an ad for your local chimney cleaner to
American Express. Send a pizza coupon to Citibank. If you didn't get
anything else that day, then just send them their blank application back!

If you want to remain anonymous, just make sure your name isn't on
anything you send them.

You can even send the envelope back empty if you want to just to
keep them guessing!

Eventually, the banks and credit card companies will begin getting
their own junk back in the mail.

Let's let them know what it's like to get lots of junk mail, and best
of all they're paying for it...Twice!

Let's help keep our postal service busy since they are saying that
e-mail is cutting into their business profits, and that's why they
need to increase postage costs again. You get the idea !

If enough people follow these tips, it will work----

THIS JUST MIGHT BE ONE E-MAIL THAT YOU WILL
WANT TO FORWARD TO YOUR FRIENDS.

__________________
I do what I can.

cpgf: (n.) Acronym describing a significant other who has not yet acheived full spousal status and is in possession of a cable modem; of note because at YOUR house, you still have dial-up -- and crappy dialup at that.

jex

haha good stuff. I already thought up the junkmail one. I was thinking of attaching a car engine to the envelope and sending that. Wonder how much they weigh

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Jex

Wolfie

My tip?

Sign up for the Do Not Call List (if you are American). No more soliticitations over the phone

USN_Squid

Those are great ideas. The best technique I have found is just to say "Please take me off your list". It ends the conversation immediately and they don't call back, and if they do they could be fined. If you just put the phone down and walk away, they will probably call back.

Also, the silent machine on the other end of the line could also be calling several people automatically and the telemarketer picks up the phone when the first live person answers thereby leaving the other lines dead. My company used to use this technique unfortuantely.

Personally, I'm happy with the no call list. No more cold calls for me! We have a lot of people get peeved at us even though they gave us their numbers and address, etc. They just forget they signed up on our website.

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phyllis

Heh...I been doing that for a couple years now...I've even pulled gunky stuff out of the kitchen trash can and put it it....emptied a very full ashtray into them more than one time... put ALL the junk mail from a couple days...fill that sucker up full !!

USN_Squid

This looked like the best place to put this. Tom Mabe, seeking revenge on telemarketers for all of us:

Not safe for work I don't think, but very funny.

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perry

I heard that on the radio a couple weeks ago

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TheFatKidDeath

I would recommend dumping your land line - if possible - and use your cellphone as your phone. Not only is it the best way to avoid them, but you eliminate the expense of paying for a land line. I got rid of mine about five years ago and only use my cell phone. It's great - I don't believe I have every gotten a telemarket call on my cell phone.

Though if you need your land line, try these!

Telemarketer: Hi. Would you be interested in switching over to TMI Long Distance service?
Seinfeld: Oh, gee, I can't talk right now. Why don't you give me your home number and I'll call you later.
Telemarketer: Uh, sorry, we're not allowed to do that.
Seinfeld: Oh, I guess you don't want people calling you at home.
Telemarketer: No.
Seinfeld: Well, now you know how I feel.

Also:

Telemarketer: Would you be interested in a subscription to the New York Times?
Seinfeld: Yes. [Slams down phone.]

__________________
|TG-9th| TheFatKidDeath
"Born to Party, Forced to Work."
http://www.theonion.com/content/node/55640 - Check me out on The Onion
http://www.theonion.com/content/vide...ssfully_avoids - I'm on the local news!

Clodhopper

Theres an idea!

I get pretty immature when it comes to those people as I get their calls a lot; Sometimes I'll just start talking to them with baby talk. If I'm lazy... but in need of a little entertainment, I just sit there and make fart noises until they hang up. My most common repsonse to a telemarketer though, is a hearty "NOBODY HOME!" followed by a good slam of the phone.

Actually, I've noticed a decline since they calls first started coming in 'till this very day. I don't know if it's my attitude that turned them off, though I think it's safe to assume they don't appreciate it. I've got a friend that insists on saying "just a moment" and leaving the phone on a counter as they wait until they give up. He's yet to see the same decline I have.

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|TG|Clodhopper - Intelligence is the key, and I'm locked out!

CingularDuality

Before the Do-not-call-registry, I used to let my son have the phone whenever a telemarketer called. I haven't gotten an unsolicited phone call in years, though...

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