DudeMan

ok a couple of days ago i was talking with panz Riyker, FireMarshal and Leezo. now something that Panz said got me to thinking about friendship and what that really means. up until that conversation i really didnt see an issue with calling any of those guys and gals (panz/FireMarshal.. Gals) my freinds. and panz said, how she did consider us friends but illustrated that there was a kind of stigma to saying that to a non enlightened pubbie.

so i guess what i am getting at here is, is there a stigma, i have never really told anyone that i have mates on the internet, now i didnt think this was a concious decisnt but i am thinking am i subconciously embarressed to say i have mates on the internet. because lets face it, i consider alot of people here as freinds, and i intend to go over seas one day and meet some of them... (when $ isnt so much of an issue) so why cant i say they are matyes, i talk to thm, i do activities with them, we even drink together in a funny way...

just want to get some thoughts here. i have mates who i work with and i know less about them, similarly i have college friends who i would go for a drink with and i have not a clue who they really are..

tell me people what is the stigma

why does it exist

do you tell people you have internet mates.

H-Hour

I don't call any of you friends, so NYAH! Though there are several people here I'd love to meet someday and enjoy playing/talking with, I call a very, very select few people friends. The rest I call acquaintances.

Now, as for telling other people about my internet acquaintances, I really only tell the very few that I call friends. With the rest I try to avoid the fact that my non-work time is mostly spent playing or modding games. It's just not interesting conversation and I'm not about to explain to some person that doesn't know me what I'm doing on the computer so much.

jex

Because people who have internet friends are stereo-typed to those people that don't bath, are ugly and sit in chat rooms all day having cybersex.

The entrepeneur in me was thinking about this issue last night funnily enough. I'm thinking of setting up an internet marriage site whereby internet lovers can come to a chat room with all their friends and then we get a 'priest' to type the ceremony and then send the newly weds an electronic marriage certificate - all for $5 or something

Personally I don't give a crap what people think of me so yes I do tell my friends I talk to you lot and play games. If anyone thinks any different of me for doing so - screw 'em, they're not worth speaking to anymore

__________________
Jex

Wintermute

I kind of play it down. If they were asked if I played games online most of my friends would say yes, but if they asked if had been a dedicated member of an internet-only community for the last two(?) years and if I had online friends they wouldn't know.

Most of my Uni friends are pretty geeky themselves, but my mates from back home probably wouldn't understand.

__________________
Wintermute

Play EVE online. It's like being an accounting addict in space.

www.MakePovertyHistory.com

DudeMan

this is the exact attitude i dont get. why play it down i am proud to be a member here, and i dont see as its any of other peoples buiness but i tell them if they ask of if i am talking about something someone said etc etc...

i dont know everyone seems to be embarressed and the steriotype might apply... to be honest i only care about what my friends think of me. so if they think im a geek who dont batrh... then dont hang around.. its interesting tho... there deffinatly is a stigma attached to which i didnt know about.

Revan

I couldn't care less what other people think of me. After all this whole universe is unerringly centered to one single individual, namely me. So I do as I please and what makes me feel good about myself.

Telling other people I have internet friends makes no problem for me as I will say it if the conversation is of such type that I will make it known, but no I do not go around just telling people that, as a matter of fact I don't go telling people anything as long as it is not a part of conversation. However I do alot of modding at work so people know what I do and who my friends are wether if be on the internert or in RL.

As for considering few people friends and others acquantences over theinternet I see no problem with it. There are few that make me genuinly happy to see them or to be playing with them, for example, when Maxi finally came bac from his travells I was genuinly happy to see him. What is wrong with that? And no do not bother to say anything as I will not even try to listen to your opinions as they have no relevance in MY world.

Benny_

My friends know I play online, they also know I hang around these forums like a bad smell.

To take it a step further, they also know I go to the Deadmen Lan twice a year, but I'll admit I said there was a lot of ex-workmates there so I didn't sound weird.

There certainly is a stigma attached, reinforced by the paedophole adverts (no bad thing) but it attaches the lecherous geek tag to anyone who partakes in an online community.

Loner, no friends, sit in the dark, can't socialise etc...

Brooklyn

Not a problem for me when I tell guys at work I have friends online I mean guys know me too Im noo wierdo or geek . Im KOOL Dont sweat that stuff man

=Sarc=

I've talked about you guys to "real" people before. Like that story of Jex asking that cute barmaid out in French. I hope you don't mind, Jex, but I had to tell a co-worker that speaks French about your blunder! I don't think it's wrong to not talk about Internet friends with RL friends. Sometimes you just don't talk about it because it's two separate worlds. On the Internet, I spend my time with a different group of friends. In real life, it's another group. The two don't go together very well mostly for the fact that people I know in person aren't big Internet gamers. It's weird to start talking about Internet friends because they just wouldn't understand the binding moments found here. This is like Fight Club. This is the underworld, the alter ego we take on at the end of the day. Outsiders wouldn't easily understand what brings us together here.

One thing that could hinder some considering Internet buddies as friends is the name issue. We all go by a callsigns here and rarely by first names. I'm perfectly comfortable with callsigns because it's how we represent ourselves online. Using our real names is fine too but I find it a little odd since newcomers might feel weird or confused. I don't mind others using my name if it feels comfortable for them but I tend to go by callsigns to minimize confusion or awkwardness. How many Chris's do we have here? Pauls? I tend to give friends nicknames in real life and use them all the time. It doesn't feel so different here for me except that we all chose our own nicknames.

__________________
JO Guides & Tutorials
Team Element - It's who you game with.

leejo

I just say friends and don't go into how we met, just like I do with my other friends.

RE: asking a barmaid out in French. My grandfather has a story about being in Paris during WWII. Word was out with the G.I.s that you just had to ask to get laid, so a buddy of his finally worked up enough nerve to ask a young lady in broken french "would you like to sleep with me"? She turned and replied in English with a crisp British accent said "well that sounds like a lovely idea but I'm afraid I'm just too tired." and that was the end of that.

fr1j0l3

heheheh...

While having "online friends" is an awkward one to explain at times, but I'm often leaving people with puzzled looks on their faces when I tell them. "Oh Sh1T!, I'm late for practice!".

"Practice for what" they say

"A Ghost Recon tournament" I say.

Puzzled look appears...

I think they think it's just an excuse to play more games, but then when folks stop by my house, they hear all yall's voices and freak out...

"Who was that?"

Why they just call you frito?

How do you know these people? Where do they live?


heheheh...

DudeMan

yes exactly intoxicating yet mysterious i think thats what got me started.

oh and sarc, saying that real lire friends and internet ones dont go together.... i have met chey darkmiss and gaz are my cousin and i plan to travel some day in the near future to visit a few people in the states and possibly canada... oh and ryn mentioned something about comming here... for training or somink... so ill be doing just that...lol

FireMarshal

If I remember the conversation he was going there for Demo training... In that being said.. I hope your soul belongs to Jesus... cause your ass belongs to Ryn... LMAO

=Sarc=

It would be nice to get together and spend time in the real world. There are also exceptions to what I said like how your situation is.

My in person friends aren't tactical gamers. That's what I meant by them not being big gamers. I think that we are a niche community so it may be difficult to get lots of people with similar gaming interests in one place. At least I don't find many that like to play games tactically, let alone just play video games.

__________________
JO Guides & Tutorials
Team Element - It's who you game with.

leejo

maybe we can go on a camping trip with Paradox and his pals sometime.