I beg of you all, do not remember 9/11 as a time just of loss and grief- it was a time of maturity for this country. For so long we have stood tall as perhaps the single most powerful, proudest country. We were, and to some extent still are, the global police force... on that tragic day we learned that we too are vulnerable. We learned the harsh reality of what some people face every day... we learned that we were human. Many of us found humanity that we had long forgotten- many men, taught never to cry or show their emotions, had stains of clear running down otherwise soot covered faces; many far from the sites of ground zero felt their heartstrings tighten as they watched these videos... and a heroic few on flight 93 found the courage to fight back and, perhaps, save our nation from a far larger calamity. I can't say for sure what happened in that plane that day, but I know this.

I'm a native of Harrisburg, Pennsylvania. I am, literally, not more than a 2 hours drive from where that plane crashed. On the day of 9/11 my school didn't even let us know... the administration at Central Dauphin school district is, in my mind, condemmed for such an act. They told us that the reports coming in were rumors and to remain in class. The teachers knew the truth... and showed us the truth. Many refused to teach, and some even left. Hundreds of students were picked up by parents who wanted to keep them safe. I remember going home on the bus and turning on the TV, not really sure what was going on... and... and then I almost can't remember. I saw the fire... the smoke... the wreckage. It was as though I could feel everyone's pain all of a sudden... and I wept bitterly. I was only 13 years old at the time... they showed our Pentagon and I was furious that God would allow something like this to happen... I called my mother and father and asked them what I should do. They both told me to stay inside and that they would be home shortly... and then they said about Flight 93... how it had been hijacked and was still flying. They gave predictions about where it migh be headed- some said Washington DC, some said to finish off the Pentagon or the White house... and one local reporter feared it might be headed to Harrisburg... Harrisburg PA, home of the Three Mile Island nuclear power plant. I live, literally, less than 20 miles from there. I was, for the first time ever, fearful for my life. I feared I would never see my family again if this plane did hit TMI. It was built to withstand the impact of a 727 ramming into it... but we were talking about a much larger impact... a far larger plane. I wept... I wept for those that died... for those that lived on without their loved ones... and for myself... fear of the unknown, anger for what has happened... and hatred at myself for being so weak. For being unable to help.

Now, 5 years later, I know what I can do to help. I will never forget the events that happened that day... the way I felt, the way I feared... the way I loved. That day my family changed... my father had always been distant, and my mother sometimes overburdened... since then we have been closer than ever. It took a tragedy to bring us back together again... as it did the entire country.


It was no ones fault... there's no black and white.
Only you and me... on this endless night.
And as the hours run away... in another life.
Darling can't you see... its' now or never
It's now or never.

We were unsure what to do... unsure how to act. How do you live after something like this had happened? How do you cope with this loss? My dad was hit hard... he had a good friend that was in one of the buildings near ground zero with his wife.

My mother was afraid of what would happen to me and my little brother, who was only 5 at the time this happened... old enough to know that something horrible had happened, yet too young to understand what really happened... he still has vivid memories of the pictures he saw, yet can only now grasp what truely happened... perhaps that was what hit me hardest.

This year, while the tributes were playing and everyone was remembering, my brothers room was being renovated. We both slept togethers downstairs in my bed untill his room was done. On the 12th we went to bed like any other night... but he turned to me, teary eyed, and asked me if they were okay. I didn't know what he meant... so he said the people in those buildings that got hit by the planes. Are they alright. I... cried. I didn't know what to say. With one question, a nine year old had brought an 18 year old to tears.

I guess I'm rambling at this point... I will admit, I don't like that my countryment are over in Iraq dying still... I don't like how this was handled... so much more could have been done to insure their safety... proper ballistics armor, immediate implimentation of the sniper detection and triangulation system, proper minesweeping techniques... so much could have been done to reduce the losses our boys have suffered... yet they are still willingly fighting... protecting what they know is right. They are fighting to save a nation filled with people that don't even appreciate what they do. Not the Iraqies... who most of which probably don't appreciate it... but we fellow Americans. We will probably never know what it's like to fight in a war; to see a squadmates head expload as he's hit by a sniper; to have a 400 pound explosive detonate, ripping your APC to shreds; to be shot; to kill another. But I hope to god we can appreciate what they do so we dont have to.

Remember, friends, remember what has happened. Remember why we fight this war... and remember what is worth dying for. Freedom is not a right... it's a privilage in this world. A privilage our forefathers fought viciously for and won for us. Now it's out turn to stand up and protect it. To fight for what we know is right. All I ask is that you don't remember 9/11 for just our losses... but for what we gained that day. I know I'm young... at 18 I have yet to see much of the world... but I am wisened by what I have seen... by those who I've met... and by everyone that has touched my life. I am truely blessed... and I hope that each and every one of you can find a way that they too have been blessed.