Originally Posted by loyalguard

I read the above quote and cried a little. You must, must, must read this thread in its entirety...the requirement to read it should be in the TG Primer! Every message board needs a threadzilla, and this is TG's!

But, I understand that 10+ pages can be an intimidating read...so, as a tribute to this epic thread, I have composed a little song that gives a fairly comprehensive yet quick summary of the events that have transpired as of the date of this post (to inspire you to read it all!)...so, without further ado:

I Wish my Neighbors Would Hurry up and Die
(Sung to the tune of "We Didn't Start the Fire" by Billy Joel)

Boy on Ritalin, a rake thrown by him
Beagle barking at all hours, fence is down

Carpenter short on bucks, calling illegals to his truck
Can’t work the electric fence, mailbox goes up

Enter Marmaduke with the beagle, barking at all hours illegal
Bike crashes into bumper, time for animal control

Kitchen sink in the side yard, above ground pool in the backyard
Buzzards and dead squirrels, broken front screen door

I wish my neighbors would hurry up and die
They’ve been a pain in my side
Since late two thousand five
I wish my neighbors would hurry up and die
No we didn't invite them
But we‘d like to indict them

More barking before 7 AM, call animal control again
PODS in the backyard, a windchime on the mailbox

Mailman and pepper spray, dog crap on the snow stays
Burning couches in old drum, put your xmas lights away!

Marmaduke brings the porch down, dogwalker with a big frown
Somebody called the cops, beagle goes bye-bye!

The weeds are 3 feet, open car windows and wet seats
Load Marmaduke in a Volvo, but he comes back again!

I wish my neighbors would hurry up and die
They’ve been a pain in my side
Since late two thousand five
I wish my neighbors would hurry up and die
No we didn't invite them
But we‘d like to indict them

Basketball on the car hood, lawsuit for bad wood
Clothes in a trash bag, lien against the “home”

Pool is slimey green, prescription bottles can be seen
Men doing surveillance, sonotubes can be fun!

Yet another dumpster, lots of curse words from her
Fighting inside and out, “the divorce is still on!”

Car parking off the pavement, late with the support payment
Realtors have made contact, I sure hope they sell!

I wish my neighbors would hurry up and die
They’ve been a pain in my side
Since late two thousand five
I wish my neighbors would hurry up and die
No we didn't invite them
But we‘d like to indict them
(To Be Continued...)