Pickle

Update for me too:

One of the two kids who would not come out of the house that night was locked out for some reason. Apparently he doesn't even live there. Hell, I don't know who lives there any more. The kid's name is Cedric. He is about 18. Well, it was about 100 degrees and we see him in front of the house when we take the kids to school at 0800. He is just hanging out in front of the house. Several hours later he is still there. He comes to the house, my house and rings the bell. He wants to know if I have a key to the house. Ummmmmm, NO! I don't! I let him use my phone to get a ride but he can't remember the number he needs to call. I tell him to call information to get the number. He asks me, "What is the number (to information)". When I tell him it is "411" he is unfazed. I at least expected a, "Man, I;m an idiot." I go back in the house (this entire exchange happens on my front porch) but leave him some water. About noon I am about to leave and he asks to use the phone again. Hey, the sooner I get rid of him the better. I give him a phone book so he can find a cab. I eventually have to do it for him because he can't find "taxi" in the "ty..." section. He dials the number but can't adequately communicate with the dispatcher. I assume at first it is because the dispatcher is foreign. I can hear an accent on the phone. The I realize it is because this inner city kid doesn't know proper english much less conversational english. The taxi is schedule and I leave to do some errands for a few hours. When I come back he is still on the porch. WTF!?!? The taxi never comes. I get on the phone to call the cab company. I want this guy out of here. I am even prepared to dig in my pocket for $40 to get him home or whereever he needs to go. I call the cab company who tells me they don't come to where I live. What?!?! I am in the middle of the advertising area for the yellow pages. I explain they said 4 hours ago they came out so what the hell happened? She talks to her supervisor and I have a cab at my house in 20 minutes.


What next I wonder?

__________________

JMJ

You have a couch on your porch, don't you?

JMJ

Cedric, Space Cadet PhD

munchkin

I get the feeling that Bommando's neighbours are quite interesting in their own right, too

__________________

IRS_Agent

I am copywriting your painful ordeal JMJ. It will become a very good screenplay that will make me very rich, I am going to give you .000000000000000000000000000000001% of the profits to ease your pain.


You can't fix stupid .

__________________
The art of war is simple enough. Find out where your enemy is. Get at him as soon as you can. Strike him as hard as you can, and keep moving.



I
#83 of 213 things you cannot do in the army.
83. Must not start any SITREP (Situation Report) with "I recently had an experience I just had to write you about...."

freekyE

Ive had a couple bad neighbors in the past.

Not really the neighbors fault but its a neighbor story so.....

When i was living in N. Hollywood as a kid our neighbor across the hall in our apartment building was shot five times with a .38 in the parking garage and managed to climb up two flights of stairs to knock on his own door. when his mother and sister started screaming for help my mother and i woke up. we immediately called 911 and my mom did what she could to help while we waited. I was 9 years old at the time. Amazingly he survived despite taking three of the shots to the upper chest and one to the face.

My other story is a little lighter in tone. It starts when i was starting college in indiana and lived in a tiny two room apartment. My neighbor below me was my best friend but, my neighbor next to me was Tony. Tony was born drunk, im pretty shure, at least he was trashed every time i ever saw him. (which was WAY to many times.) Tony was also the guy who would knock on your door at 4AM and ask for a ride to get some cigarettes.

One night i come home and hes waiting for me at the top of the stairs between our apartments and as i pull into my parking spot hes yelling at me at the top of his lungs. "Im gonna kill you, man!!"

Now Tony was not a threatening man. i am a good 4 inches taller than him and I think I can handle myself against a person who can barely stand up on thier own. so I walk up the stairs and push past him. he follows me all the way to my door and i tell him to go away or ill call the police.

I decide this is the end of our conversation and go into my apartment and go to close the door.
Tony decides he still has a bit to say to me so he puts his foot in the door to stop it from closing. Im not a violent person, but in that moment after a looong days work/classes i had HAD ENOUGH.

I yanked the door open and punched Tony in the face as hard as i could. he staggered back and almost fell over the balcony railing and i slammed the door in his face.

This is where i figured it would end but of course, Tony calls the cops. They show up and ask me if I punched him in the face. I reply "yes, as he was attempting to force his way into my apartment" To which the cops say "Tony is this true?" and of course says "yes" LOL

The cops then ask me if i want to press charges for felony entry and tell them "no, but if he tries to get into my apartment again im gonna beat the living crap outta him" The cops actually laughed about that and left promptly. THE END

P.S. Tony never talked to me again YAY

CingularDuality

Hell no. Just a couple of folding camp chairs.

__________________

Become a supporting member!

Buy a Tactical Duck!
Take the world's smallest political quiz! "I was touched by His Noodly Appendage."
TacticalGamer TX LAN/BBQ Veteran:

Obi

A wise person once said that in order to deal with the problem of stupid people we should "take saftey notices off everything an let the problem solve itself."

Buck Fush

Props for the PB reference.

J, yelling at a barking dog is a good way to get him to bark louder. You're actually reinforcing the idea that we're in a barking contest. Go out and get a sonic blaster, they have handhelds and wall-mounted, and every time he barks, give him a blast. He WILL stop and his owners will never know why. Sometimes you just have to train your neighbor's dogs for them.

freekyE

Any new updates JMJ?

JMJ

I missed your post, but here's some updates (with bonus pictures). The dogs are a bit more under control, but the kids sure aren't. The yard is still a disaster (worst in my viewable area) as you can see by the following pictures (warning, hi-res images):

Hey boy, your BVD's are a nice shade of brown.

Ladder storage

Miscellaneous backyard decorations. I was going to label all this stuff, but if you view it in it's original size, you'll have no problems making out what all the wonderful deocrations are.

JMJ

Holy crap! Just when I thought it couldn't get any worse, I JUST looked out my window to see THIS. (angle two).

You might wonder what the hell that is doing in the city....I have no clue where he came from, but I can tell you he's eating a dead squirrel that's been there for 3 or 4 days (in THEIR yard).

Rincewind

That is awesome. I love that they store their gasoline under their deck, next to their kiddie toys and vacuum cleaner. Nice Odyssey, BTW.

__________________
~~ Veritas simplex oratio est ~~
No matter how far a wizard goes, he will always come back for his hat. --T. Pratchett

<---- You know you're getting old when you rely on your forum meta-data to remind you how old you are.

Required Reading for all TG sandboxers

Acid

That backyard storage is priceless. Way to be a smart parent and store lawn chemicals near all the kiddy toys.

__________________

Boot

Is that a bomb shelter entrance near the stairs, or just a big piece of plywood?

I suppose if you're stupid enough, one is as good as the other...

__________________
Boot.

In Soviet Russia, TV watches YOU.