George Bush's Answer:

We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to
know if the chicken is on our side of the road or not. The chicken is
either with us or it is against us. There is no middle ground here.

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John Kerry's Answer:


At press time, Mr. Kerry was still trying to decide which road, which
chicken and what side of the road to talk about.


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Al Gore's Answer:

I invented the chicken. I invented the road. Therefore, the chicken
crossing the road represented the application of these two different
functions of government in a new, reinvented way designed to bring
greater services to the American people.


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Bill Gates' Answer:

I have just released eChicken 2003, which will not only cross roads,
but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your
checkbook - and Internet Explorer is an inextricable part of eChicken.

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Martha Stewart's Answer:

No one called to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a
standing order at the farmer's market to sell my eggs when the price
dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider
information.


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Dr. Seuss' Answer:

Did the chicken cross the road?
Did he cross it with a toad?
Yes, the chicken crossed the road,
But why it crossed, I've not been told!

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Ernest Hemingway's Answer:

To die. In the rain. Alone.


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Martin Luther King Jr's Answer:

I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross roads
without having their motives called into question.

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Grandpa's Answer:

In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Someone told
us that the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough for us.

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Barbara Walters' Answer:

Isn't that interesting? In a few moments we will be listening to the
chicken tell, for the first time, the heart-warming story of how it
experienced a serious case of molting and went on to accomplish its
life-long dream of crossing the road.

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Ralph Nader's Answer:

The chicken's habitat on the original side of the road had been
pollutedby unchecked industrialist greed. The chicken did not reach the
unspoiled habitat on other side of the road because it was crushed by
the wheels of a gas-guzzling SUV.

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Jerry Seinfield's Answer:

Why does anyone cross a road? I mean, why doesn't anyone ever think to
ask, "What the heck was this chicken doing walking around all over the
place anyway?"

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Pat Buchanan's Answer:

To steal a job from a decent, hard-working American.

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Jerry Falwell's Answer:

Because the chicken was gay! Isn't it obvious? Can't you people see the
plain truth in front of your face? The chicken was going to the "other
side." That's what they call it -- the other side. Yes, my friends,
that chicken is gay. And, if you eat that hicken, you will become gay
too. I say we boycott all chickens until we sort out this abomination
that the liberal media whitewashes with seemingly harmless phrases like
"the other side.".

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John Lennon's Answer:

Imagine all the chickens crossing roads in peace.

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Aristotle's Answer:

It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.


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Saddam Hussein's Answer:

This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we were quite justified in
dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it.


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Captain Kirk's Answer:

To boldly go where no chicken has gone before.


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Bill Clinton's Answer:

I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What do you mean by
chicken? Could you define chicken, please?

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The Bible's Answer:

And God came down from the heavens, and He said unto the chicken, "Thou
shalt cross the road." And the chicken crossed the road, and there was
much rejoicing.


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Albert Einstein's Answer:

Did the chicken really cross the road or did the road move beneath the
chicken?


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Sigmund Freud's Answer:

The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken crossed the
road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.


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L.A.P.D.'s Answer:

Give me ten minutes with the chicken and I'll find out.


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Richard Nixon's Answer:

The chicken did not cross the road. I repeat, the chicken did not cross
the road.

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Buddha's Answer:

If you ask this question, you deny your own chicken nature.


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Joseph Stalin's Answer:

I don't care. Catch it. I need its eggs to make my omelette.


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Louis Farrakhan's Answer:

The road, you will see, represents the black
man. The chicken crossed the "black man" in order to trample him and
keep him down.

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The Pope's Answer:

That is only for God to know.

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Emily Dickenson's Answer:

Because it could not stop for death.

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O.J. Simpson's Answer:

It didn't. I was playing golf with it at the time.

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Colonel Sanders' Answer:

I missed one?