Best goodbye letter ever

tau_neutrino · 10-08-2006, 05:33 PM

Quote:

A father passing his son's bedroom was astonished to see the bed was nicely made, and everything was picked up. Then, he saw an envelope propped up prominently on the pillow. It was addressed, "Dad".
With the worst premonition, he opened the envelope and read the letter with trembling hands.

Dear Dad,

It is with great regret and sorrow that i'm writing you. I had to elope with my new girlfriend, because I wanted to avoid a scene with Mom and you.

I've been finding real passion with Debbie, and she is so nice, but I knew you would not approve of her, because of her piercings,tattoos, her tight motorcycle clothes and because she is so much older then I am.
But, It's not the passion Dad! She's Pregnant!
Debbie said that we will be very happy. She owns a trailer in the woods and has a stack of firewood for the whole winter.

We share a dream of having many more children. Debbie has opened my eyes to the fact that marijuana does'nt really hurt anyone. We'll be growing it for ourselves and trading it with the other people in the commune, for all the cocaine and ecstasy we want.
In the meantime we'll pray that science will find a cure for AIDS, so Debbie can get better.
She sure deserves it!

Don't worry Dad, I'm 15 and I know how to take care of myself.

Someday I'm sure we'll be back to visit, so you can get to know your grandchildren.

Love, your son

John

P.S. Dad, None of the above is true. I'm over at Tommy's house. I just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life then the report card thats in my center desk drawer. I love you!
Call when it's safe for me to come home.

**Acid** · 10-08-2006, 05:35 PM

ROFL

Thats hilarious!!! I might have to pull that one if things don't go right this year in school.

Lorian · 10-08-2006, 05:35 PM

Lol, awesome

xTYBALTx · 10-09-2006, 12:31 AM

That is funny.

**Dirtboy** · 10-09-2006, 12:53 AM

So is he running away with Tommy?...I dont get it.

aeroripper · 10-09-2006, 03:19 AM

LOL, that's great.

B. Clawhammer · 10-09-2006, 12:54 PM

ROFL. My Dad would kick my @$$ for pulling something like that! That's too good!

**Rincewind** · 10-09-2006, 03:32 PM

LOL, someone need to try this one out...

leejo · 10-09-2006, 03:39 PM

I would love to see a report of how well it goes over in rl. Poorly, would be my guess.

here's how my father would have read that, summing up:

Quote:

Dear Dad,

I have screwed up in school and am now over at my buddy's house goofing off rather than face the music. Allow me to piss you off even more by joking about my underperformance, and by lecturing you about what is and is not important in life. hahaha!

As if that weren't enough, let me give you a chore: call me when I can return without fear of consequence. It may be a while though, because I'm probably getting high and will need to sober up first and get the smell out of my clothes. I'll be chewing gun and smelling like air freshener when I come home. Thanks for all the stuff. Keep it coming, dude!

Your lazy smartassed bastard of a son.

Santa · 10-10-2006, 02:10 AM

While ive never pulled something like that off, making my parents laugh before i give them bad news always works wonders. If i get bad grades this year ill try this one out, but i dont exactly plan to.

**Trooper** · 10-10-2006, 02:24 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by leejo

I would love to see a report of how well it goes over in rl. Poorly, would be my guess.

here's how my father would have read that, summing up:

yep exactly how my dad would have read it. But mine would have been followed up with either and obituary in the paper the next day or my dad calling the cops and having me arrested for something made up because he knows all the cops in the county.

I wonder what a Husband/wife letter would be like?

aeroripper · 10-10-2006, 05:59 AM

Quote:

As if that weren't enough, let me give you a chore: call me when I can return without fear of consequence. It may be a while though, because I'm probably getting high and will need to sober up first and get the smell out of my clothes. I'll be chewing gun and smelling like air freshener when I come home. Thanks for all the stuff. Keep it coming, dude!

Your lazy smartassed bastard of a son.

lol, that's comedy gold right there.

Rick_the_new_guy · 10-10-2006, 08:11 AM

very nice. Very funny.

All smiles,

Rick.

munchkin · 10-10-2006, 08:39 AM

I tried something like that once. It didn't end well.

10-08-2006, 05:35 PM	#2 (permalink)
Acid Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: MA Posts: 3,581	Re: Best goodbye letter ever ROFL Thats hilarious!!! I might have to pull that one if things don't go right this year in school. __________________

10-08-2006, 05:35 PM	#3 (permalink)
Lorian Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: United Kingdom Age: 18 Posts: 2,036	Re: Best goodbye letter ever Lol, awesome __________________ \|TG-E17th\|Lorian Member since 18th February 2006 Supporting member since 4th August 2006 PGP public key Processor: Intel Core 2 Duo E6420 Memory: 2x 1GB Corsair XMS2 DDR2-800 RAM Video Card: XFX NVIDIA GeForce 6800 XT 256MB Monitor: 17" Dell CRT and 15" generic LCD Sound Card: Creative X-Fi Xtrememusic and Creative Sound Blaster Live! (no Linux X-Fi drivers yet)

10-09-2006, 12:31 AM	#4 (permalink)
xTYBALTx Join Date: Aug 2005 Posts: 3,676	Re: Best goodbye letter ever That is funny. __________________ Current Tybalt theme song: Mason v. Princess - Perfect "$250,000 a year won't get me to Central Park West."

10-09-2006, 12:53 AM	#5 (permalink)
Dirtboy Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Las Vegas! Age: 24 Posts: 2,922	Re: Best goodbye letter ever So is he running away with Tommy?...I dont get it. __________________ \|TG-6th\| Dirtboy Need an Admin? \| Want to help TG? \| The 6th Devil's Brigade !Reporting Skud for one-manning himself! A.Wickens

10-09-2006, 03:19 AM	#6 (permalink)
aeroripper Join Date: Dec 2005 Age: 25 Posts: 2,278	Re: Best goodbye letter ever LOL, that's great.

10-09-2006, 12:54 PM	#7 (permalink)
B. Clawhammer Join Date: Aug 2005 Location: Central Valley, CA Age: 30 Posts: 1,839	Re: Best goodbye letter ever ROFL. My Dad would kick my @$$ for pulling something like that! That's too good! __________________ \|TG-33rd\|Clawhammer [squadl] [sniper][unit] BF2 Rules & SOPs

10-09-2006, 03:32 PM	#8 (permalink)
Rincewind Join Date: May 2005 Location: Casting useless spells in Oklahoma. Age: 27 Posts: 2,663	Re: Best goodbye letter ever LOL, someone need to try this one out... __________________ ~~ Veritas simplex oratio est ~~ No matter how far a wizard goes, he will always come back for his hat. --T. Pratchett <---- You know you're getting old when you rely on your forum meta-data to remind you how old you are. Required Reading for all TG sandboxers

10-10-2006, 02:10 AM	#10 (permalink)
Santa Registered User Join Date: Jul 2005 Age: 18 Posts: 3,355	Re: Best goodbye letter ever While ive never pulled something like that off, making my parents laugh before i give them bad news always works wonders. If i get bad grades this year ill try this one out, but i dont exactly plan to.

10-10-2006, 08:11 AM	#13 (permalink)
Rick_the_new_guy Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: Virginia Beach Age: 29 Posts: 1,789	Re: Best goodbye letter ever very nice. Very funny. All smiles, Rick. __________________ (PO3) Marcinko_R. (BF2 PR .509) Squad Member (CPO) Marcinko_R. (BF2 PR .509) Squad Leader (LCDR) Marcinko_R. (BF2 PR .509) Commander Squad Member pledge to their SL:http://www.tacticalgamer.com/battlef...ad-leader.html Squad Leader pledge to their team:http://www.tacticalgamer.com/battlef...r-platoon.html Commander pledge to their SL:http://www.tacticalgamer.com/battlef...d-leaders.html

10-10-2006, 08:39 AM	#14 (permalink)
munchkin Join Date: Jul 2005 Location: Sydney, Australia Age: 17 Posts: 2,271	Re: Best goodbye letter ever I tried something like that once. It didn't end well. __________________ [conduct][volun][drill][sg-c1][tpf-c1] \|TG-2nd\|munchkin Nec aspera terrent.

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