Clodhopper

Alright, so this is a joke I heard from a Canadian comedian quite some time ago... infact I think he told the same joke on national TV at some point aswell. Anyways, I'll tell it the best I can, from what I can remember.

Disclaimer; it's a joke, not ment to offend anyone although it may offend anyone serving in the Canadian Military or french Canadians. Just a simple joke that plays with the common misconceptions of all Canadians; tomfoolery. If it offends you, I'm sorry... (that you don't have a sense of humour!)

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Ever wonder about what would happen if someone decided to attack us? It's not like we have a large military to defend againsed something like that... Worse still if they attacked at night. You could picture our troops... both of them... sitting around when they hear news of the attack;

Gord would say "Looks like those guys are attacking us, eh?"

then Doug would reply "What? But it's last call!"
"Screw it, they can have Quebec, those pricks want to leave anyways."
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Forgive me, I think I may have told it wrong, something in it just doesn't seem 100%. It's a very funny joke and I don't know if I did it any justice. All the same though, I wanted to share it as best as I could. Hope you enjoyed it...

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|TG|Clodhopper - Intelligence is the key, but I'm locked out!

Grunt 70

Canada kicked some ass in WWII.

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|TG-22nd|Grunt



"When force is necessary, it must be applied boldly, decisively, and completely. But one must know the limitations of force; one must know when to blend force with maneuver" - Leon Trotsky

Sir_Brass

Yup, all 3 of 'em =p.

Naw, no disrespect to the Canukastani military.....it's just they're so under used, though maybe that'll change now with the new PM. I don't really know. I'm not Canadian....just someone with several canadian friends.

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|TG-Irr|Hiram_Yorik
Games: GRAW, BF2142, Oblivion, FarCry, Empire At War, R6:RVS, KotOR, KotOR2, MW4: Mercs, FEAR (XP)




*Hiss* "Oh...crap!" *BLAM* "I'm down....MEDIC!!"

DirtyLude: "If we kill him and eat his heart, his magic will be ours."

Clodhopper

Yeah, the joke means no disrespect, just plays with the usual misconceptions

All for poops and giggles.

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|TG|Clodhopper - Intelligence is the key, but I'm locked out!

Leonidas

Thats a right knee-slapper. Just stop apologizing so much.

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War is an ugly thing, but not the ugliest of things. The decayed and degraded state of moral and patriotic feeling that thinks that nothing is worth war is much worse. The person who has nothing for which he is willing to fight, nothing which is more important than his own personal safety is a miserable creature, who has no chance at being free unless made and kept so by the exertions of better men than himself. -- John Stuart Mill--

"O xein angellein lakedaimoniois hoti tede keimetha tois keinon rhemasi peithomenoi"- Monument, Thermopylae

leejo

Seems to me the Canadians have been pretty busy lately. A few snipers got mucho kudos a while back.

http://www.snipercountry.com/Article...2430Metres.asp

Sir_Brass

Note they pulled that shot off with AMERICAN tools of war .

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|TG-Irr|Hiram_Yorik
Games: GRAW, BF2142, Oblivion, FarCry, Empire At War, R6:RVS, KotOR, KotOR2, MW4: Mercs, FEAR (XP)




*Hiss* "Oh...crap!" *BLAM* "I'm down....MEDIC!!"

DirtyLude: "If we kill him and eat his heart, his magic will be ours."

Foxoq

And Americans don't use any foreign materials? Hekler & Koch, or say, the CANADIAN arm on your space shuttles? Geez, America is a great country, until people start gloating about it...

Leonidas

Cool it, boyo, he just made a lighthearted jab. Everyone takes pride in their country, even the Canucks.

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War is an ugly thing, but not the ugliest of things. The decayed and degraded state of moral and patriotic feeling that thinks that nothing is worth war is much worse. The person who has nothing for which he is willing to fight, nothing which is more important than his own personal safety is a miserable creature, who has no chance at being free unless made and kept so by the exertions of better men than himself. -- John Stuart Mill--

"O xein angellein lakedaimoniois hoti tede keimetha tois keinon rhemasi peithomenoi"- Monument, Thermopylae

Clodhopper

Sorry guys! I just wanted to share a joke, not start an arguement!
...
You guys want some facts about Canada?

-We have drive-up ATM machines with Braille lettering.
-We buy hot dogs in packages of 12 and buns in packages of 8.
-Banks leave both doors open and chain the pens to the counter.
-Drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.
-There are handicap parking places in front of a skating rink.
-The footballs and fields are bigger, and we have one less Down.
-In the war of 1812, we pushed the Americans so far back... passed their 'White House', burned it...and most of Washington. We got bored because they ran away so we came home and partied. Go figure.
-Canada has the largest French population that never surrendered to Germany.
-We knew plaid was cool far before Seattle caught on.
-The Canadian Civil War was a bar fight that lasted a little over an hour.
-We all know that a scale that measures boiling water at 212 degrees and freezes at 32 is asinine.

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|TG|Clodhopper - Intelligence is the key, but I'm locked out!

Foxoq

Yea, 10-4. Just got a little over-excited in my bad mood. I guess since it is a joke thread afterall, I could let it slide Sorry, maybe I shouldn't take everything so literally all the time. Just take care not to downplay my brethen .

Clodhopper

Hey now, their mine too :P
And where the hell were you guys when I made my turkey day thread?!
...
Where I should have been I suspect... no turkey sandwiches for me

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|TG|Clodhopper - Intelligence is the key, but I'm locked out!

Foxoq

Guilty! I saw it, but I was kind of in a time squeeze, so I skipped it. Next year though, i'll be there. Count on it .