I just died in your arms tonight,
Must have been something you did.
You should have used bandages,
Not a morphine shot.

Then again, at least I can rest in the knowledge that my poor character probably died happily. In the sky. With diamonds.

Most of last night’s PR match was spent hiding in and around the mine from angry British troops. I even managed to shoot two of them, but only because I accidentally walked into them as they tried to stealthily infiltrate the mine.

“Oh, hi there!” BLAM BLAM BLAM! “Sorry.”

I think they really hated me for it, considering the messages coming over the global chat. Or at least, one was embarrassed for being killed by a noob girl and, and the other just seemed to hate me. “kill the harry potter chick”. Not sure if I should be offended or flattered. Then again, maybe it’s because my voice is the easiest to recognise out of everyone on the server. Also got told to “get off side chat kid”, got the warm fuzzies when some of the guys I play with more regularly pointed out that I’m a 20 year old woman. Never thought of myself as a woman, to be honest. Female, but not a woman.

So! On to the highlights of the night…

• Getting killed in the explosion of an enemy mini-chopper that was shot down by our own team.
• Watching a two glitched out corpses warping about on a pile of rubble. Especially the dead British dude, who was sort of warp-humping a wall. He wouldn’t stay still long enough for me to loot him.
• Patching up two other guys with uber medic skills, before collapsing from blood loss myself on top of them. I’d kind of reached the critical limit of how much I could heal myself by then.
• Actually found a use for morphine in game for the first time ever.
• Sprinting madly away, getting caught in bits of side blast from mortars, getting to relative safety… and collapsing flat on my face from blood loss in a bush.
• Surviving a mortar blast (only just), calling medic. See medic coming (Patu, save me!), die mid treatment from blood loss.
• Survive being shot, run into building, close door… collapse in corner from blood loss. Sing Simon and Garfunkel until someone wanders past with field dressings.
• Take incredibly badly aimed pot-shots with a stolen sniper waffle at some British soldier running down a mountain side. Feel oddly gleeful as he zigzags around like a scalded rabbit.
• Keep a guy pinned down with fail sniper fire while a squad mate flanks him. Or I hope I helped pin him down, I only saw the guy once.
• Wasted three bullets into an enemy corpse on a hillside before realising it was dead.
• Take heavy damage, throw a smoke grenade at my feet… collapse from blood loss in the middle of the smokescreen.
• End up in a three man group constantly medic-ing each other each time one gets shot, while completely stranded from rest of group.
• Got ran over by a quad bike.
• Frantically running back to my last death point to loot my stolen British sniper rifle / grenade launcher and replace my fail LMG.
• Fail to find own corpse and sniper waffle, sift through British corpses, testing out each gun in turn.
• Watch a ‘friendly’ sniper warp and teleport around the sky.
• Get healed from bleeding out, look up hill, see British soldier popping over the brow of the hill. Die horribly in a hail of bullets.

To be honest, most of last night was spent bleeding out in the desert. Immersive, but I can’t help the feeling that I didn’t actually do that much good, apart from constantly healing everyone I could find.