Everyone once in awhile I get around to checking in here, then I realize my blog post or forum post has been over a year ago. I swear I had just been here a few weeks ago. Then I start clicking around, looking for IHS wiki's just to see who's still around and where they are and realize I've been gone so long I can't even find them. I start going through and seeing who is still around, sad to see most of them haven't posted in over a year also. I find a few names I know and I'm glad to see they are still around.
Nostalgia kicked in really hard and to be honest it's a bit overwhelming. I met such amazing people here and with a few exceptions, those that I'm friends with on Facebook, I've lost contact with some really great people. I miss feeling like I had a bunch of people that liked having me around and seeing me in game. Even if we fought or disagreed it felt like almost no one held a grudge. I know last year I told myself I was going to be around here more and post more, but now it's been over a year and I've barely been around. I started to tell myself that same lie again this time. I'll post, I'll get back in game, but I looked at my life and thought: How? My kids are 9, 7 and 2 1/2, with their sports, plays, school, summer programs, work seeming to get more and more time consuming, wanting to go back to school, my wife working, a house to take care of, my son't speech therapy, I know there is no way I can be back like I used to be. Not to mention I've become even more self conscious in the last couple of years. I remember Rage4Order always telling me he loved how I'd just tell someone what was on my mind and didn't care what they might think of it. Funny thing was, I thought I held back a lot, but now, I'm tired of arguing with people. At some point I always step back and re-evaluate my position in an argument and can admit if I'm wrong, but some people just won't stop, even when it's obvious that they are wrong. It seems like any time I go to post something, I'm asking myself, "Will this start an argument, will is make someone mad?" It probably shouldn't matter, but it does to me, I'm tired of dealing with it.
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