Hello fellow readers, it's been a strange day.
I was looking over at my email as I get several emails a day from
different digital distribution game sales sites along the lines of Green Man Gaming,
Good Old Games, Onlive, EA's Origin store and about 10 others.
Of course, I also check Steams news at least once a day.

I was foaming at the mouth about a sale over at Green Man Gaming because I was trying
to do the math of using a coupon that expires at midnight for 20% off and another
for DarkSiders II that gives me 30% off. Since I could use both coupons,
I was doing math to see what I would save more if I applied the coupons in different orders.
Like if I take 30% off of $40 then applied 20% off of that total. You get the idea.

Anyway, it suddenly hit me.
I have almost FOUR HUNDRED games (if I count all my Xbox, DVD games, and digital downloads).
That's a four with two zeros.
I looked sheepishly at my shopping cart that, to be honest, had more than Darksiders II.
I quickly hit the remove shopping cart and walked out of my room.

It got me thinking. I have more than likely spent more money on video games
than anything else in my existence except for my house and cars.
I am not a rich man, in fact, I'm permanently and totally disabled and the only
income I make is what the state pays me from my disability claims.

Trust me, after I pay my mortgage, electrical, water, phone, cable,
Internet and other small bills I do not have any money left.

So why the heck do I spend so much of my time and money browsing through
online game stores, as if I were going to clean them out?
Why, when I go past a GameStop do I feel a strange longing to go inside,
even though there hasn't been anything released on the Xbox 360 in the last year
that I couldn't get on the PC or that I didn't already have?

When I go to Wal-Mart, K-mart, or any "mart", where is the one place a person can usually find me?
That's right, the freaking Electronics Department. I stand there glassed-eye looking at gadgets,
gizmos, 50 inch widescreen 3D LCD TV's that I could never afford and try to think how I would fit the
TV near my computer desk. Then I notice I have begin to make the "undercover" in-store security
nervous because I have been walking around in the same department for the last 45 minutes.

I know I'm poor. My bank knows I'm poor. The creditors who insist on calling me know I'm poor.
So, why in the blue blazes do I look at things I know I can't afford, or do I,
as soon as I have a few bucks, spend them on games I rarely finish?

Is this a healthy outlet for a person to think about things they don't need?
Is this okay for me to not give a rat's ear about who won the Super Bowl last year,
but I could tell you about everything that was talked about at this years E3?
Or, is it an addiction?

But, wait a minute you hear me squeak,
"I don't even have a freaking cell phone!" (Don't faint)!
But there is a good reason I don't have a cell phone,
if I'm going to be completely honest with myself,
is not because I wouldn't just love to have an iPhone 4S, or an iPad 2, Nexus, Samsung....
(ah.. all these names spinning through my head and I don't even have one!)
Where was I? Oh, the only reason I don't own one of these gadgets-of-wonder is
because I know my mortgage is more important than something I wouldn't use as often as say,
being able to eat for the next 30 days. I mean, I rarely go out, and when I do, it's only to look
at junk I can't/don't have so, a cell phone is not a "need".

That doesn't stop me from drooling over the idea of having the latest smart phone or
thinking that having a Siri would be just totally kick-ass. (I hate you Apple!)

Am I alone, or is this our new society?
Are all of use closet-wanters-of-too-much-junk?

I think, it's time for me to look at what I do have, and stop spending money on new games
I can't afford and actually play and get bored of what I do have.
Well, here I go, into my new future of enjoying what I already have and not obsessing
over every game sale on Steam.
I'm going to get rid of the deep seated need to have too many games, using that full feeling
as a security blanket for any real world insecurities.

I mean really, will I, on my death bed, regret never having bought an iPad or never having all
the top achievements on Xbox.com?
According to mainstream society, I will regret not having spent enough time with my
children and other loved ones.
So, here I go...
...just one last thing as I'm signing off, just wanted you all to know,
I just saw on awesome deal on The Darkness II on Steam... 75% off this weekend.