Blogs were always alien to me. Just like diaries.
Diaries are worse, since it seems very unhealthy to address a piece of paper as if it were a person. Dear Diary? I don't think so.
But what really keeps me from keeping my thought banned on paper - or it's virtual brother - is my lazyness. The first post, just like this one, is entertaining to write and a nice way to spend an hour or so. But the second post seems to be more of an obligation than a joy. It's like a duty to go on and write something, even if you can't think of something to share. Which of course determines the quality of the outcome.
I will nontheless try to keep a chronic of my thoughts and expieriences of and with TG, even though the english language often proves itself a more dangerous enemy than any player online could.

My first visit on this site was a couple of months ago. I was looking for SWAT 4 support and communities after endulging in a couple of days in vintage co-op gaming with a friend of mine. The idea of TG was intriguing. I've always been a friend of tactical and objective-driven gameplay and annoyed by hordes of selfish, narrow-minded and sometimes even plain stupid gamers habitating the various gaming communities.
Should there really be a ray of light on the horizon of first person shooters? Apparently so.
But after a while and losing interest in SWAT again, I forgot about the community and went on with my expieriences on public servers in the masses of k/d-driven campers and snipers. I became pretty involved in Modern Warfare 2 which proved to be an excellent game for quick run and gun matches. Sure, there are lot of cheaters out there and yes, tactical gameplay is as alien to the MW2 community as is a gay bar to conservative republicans. But it's a lot of fun to run around on small maps, leaving piles of (mostly yelling and complaining) bodies behind you. It's great!
But it lacks teamplay and the social component of tactical gameplay. It's pretty much like paintball with a lot of strangers. Fun but not entirely satisfying.

Then BC2 came out and changed a lot of things. After playing the mediocre singleplayer campaign I tried the MP and found myself in the unfamiliar position to really suck! I don't want to brag or pose, but my reactions are good and I adapt fairly quickly to new games. I was used to be on top of the scoreboard in MW2 and it felt like a bucket of cold water poured over my head, when I died repeatedly in BC2 just because I forgot about cover and a slower pace.
I felt embarrassed and humbled. Where were my skills? Did I really forget the time I've spent playing Operation Flashpoint and Battlefield 2, both in clans? Did I really become one of those arcade gamers who disregard realism and tactics as a mere burden which takes away the speed and the fun of a game?
Couldn't be! I found my ambition and I got back into my old role as dedicated medic and care bear. Sweet memories were renewed when I finally got back into the habits of effectively using cover, supression fire and squad-based tactics to actually complete an objective. It felt great!
But... after a while I've noticed the same things which annoyed me in other games as well. Too many snipers, cascades of 40mil granades and rocket launchers fired on single infantry units. The disappointment of the realization that selfish 'tactics' and hordes of lone wolfs as common in BC2 as in MW2 affected my motivation and I was about to quit playing the game. (Can you even call them lone wolfs when there's 10 of them in one team?)

Then I remembered this site I've found months ago. It seemed nice and after all it was worth a try. I wasn't interested in a clan with all it's obligations, trainings and clanwars. So TG looked like the perfect alternative. Unfortunately though, BC2 failed me. Without any obvious reason it stopped working. I just couldn't connect to any server. I've changed firewalls, tried it with and without a router and even formatted my PC - even though of because of other reasons. After formatting I was optimistic that the issue was solved and eagerly introduced myself to the TG BC2 community. But... Fate let me down. DICE let me down. BC2 was dead. Even after a lenghty chat and email conversation with the support team after which they gave up and tried to buy their way out of the issue by giving me a coupon for the EA store, I couldn't revive that darn game.

Frustrated I looked for a substitute. I didn't buy ARMA because of cruel report of bugs and issues and I didn't plan to exchange one buggy game with another.
Then I stumbled upon an abbreviation I didn't know. PR? What was PR?
Project Reality. I knew that name. Some BF2 mod which didn't work for me, as I recalled.
Well... It was worth a try! Surprisingly I found my BF2 DVD in the depths of my flat and after installing everything I eagerly started the game. Tactics, realism, complexity... Great!
And... it crashed to the desktop. Damn...
But this time fate was on my side and after a few tweaks I was able to play.

My first impression was: wtf!
I had no idea what to do, whom to shoot, where to go, how to use my equipment and basically what I was doing. (I'm still asking myself some of those questions today)
The first thing I told every squad I joined was: 'Sorry guys, I'm a noob so please go easy on me'. And to my surprise everyone was supportive, nobody tried to get rid of me even though I was a burden for my team. Kind gamers, serious gameplay and the first game in years which forced me to actually read a manual. I was overwhelmed by the difficulty and complexity of the gameplay but it felt like a challenge and motivated me to really get into it. It was both humbling and exiting to follow my squadleader while having no idea what to do. I actually needed his leadership and commands to even perform the most basic tasks. A new kind of fun, an unknown expierience.
All I knew was that I wanted more of it and that I wanted to become a player who's to be taken seriously.
By now, I still feel like a newbie. But it's great fun nontheless!

To be continued...