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Drunks are dumb!!!

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  • Drunks are dumb!!!

    I work Saturdays and some Sundays at a local nightclub as a bouncer. Ontario liquor license laws state that all alcohol as be removed from the public by 2:45am...

    What this means for us bouncers is that at around 2:30am we have to go around and make sure all the alcohol is off the floor...

    So about 2:30 this morning I am clearing drinks from the dance floor. I tell this guy that I have to take his drink. He looks at me than turns to walk away. I put my hand on his shoulder than things got funky.

    He turns to me and shouts "Why the ***** are you touching me!" in my face.

    Well.... I drop the drinks I was carying, plastic cups so who cares, take a step back and call over some back up. The closest guy is a friend that we call "The Wall". He is 6'-10", 385 pounds of former University football player.

    So needless to say we escorted this jerk out the nearest door, at the door he said something like this..

    Idiot "Why are you throwing me out? I'm not drunk"

    Me "Because of your attitude, you have to leave now"

    Idiot "Get your hands off me, I am going to sue you. Do you know who I am?"

    Pause as the wall gives him a one handed shove sending him about 5' out the door

    Idiot "I WORK FOR BELL"

    Door closes....


    So... Why does he think we care if he works for bell??? Did he mean Bell Canada or Taco Bell?

    Some people are too dumb to breath.
    Last edited by Toshido; 07-17-2005, 05:11 AM. Reason: little typo.

  • #2
    Re: Drunks are dumb!!!

    He doesn't know it yet but he will be reborn as a chihuaha !!

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    • #3
      Re: Drunks are dumb!!!

      I've always enjoyed watching the bouncers throw the drunk morons out of bars. It adds for some extra entertainment, and for a moment, it's a live action movie right before your eyes. The last time I watched a guy get throw out of a bar, it was due to him following and harassing a female there. He kept saying to her "C'mere, I just wanna talk to you!" over and over again. She kept ignoring him while walking. I figured he'd stop after the first two times she ignored him, but he didn't. When he grabbed her arm to stop her from continuing to walk away, that's when I tapped one of the bouncers on the shoulder and pointed in their direction. Suddenly an ambush of yellow shirted bouncers swarmed around the guy and pulled him away from the woman. He decided to put up a struggle...bad idea. I took it upon myself to follow the action from a distance and continue to watch. As he struggled, three bouncers proceeded to drag him towards a side exit and throw him out. Once outside, the drunk guy decided to throw some uncoordinated punches and kicks. It wasn't much longer until the police arrived and took it from there.

      That was probably the best night i've experienced at a bar yet. :D

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      • #4
        Re: Drunks are dumb!!!

        It always amazes me when a single drunkthinks he can take on a dozen bouncers and stay in the club.

        Well tonight is an all ages event so hopefully I will have another good story for you guys tonight.

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        • #5
          Re: Drunks are dumb!!!

          I work in a cocktail bar. It tends to attract older patrons who have the money for expensive drinks. You would think this would mean less stupid behaviour, but they are as bad or worse than the 18-30 crowd. Not long ago I had to get our bouncer to throw a guy out for getting a blow job in the middle of the crowded bar. Another time a customer asked me out for a fight after I told him not to piss in the sink.
          Wintermute

          Play EVE online. It's like being an accounting addict in space.

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          • #6
            Re: Drunks are dumb!!!

            We tossed one guy out for pissing behind the speakers on the dance floor. I have seen discrete handjobs in the club, one guy that had to do up his pants as he left a dark corner.

            Than there are the foam parties. People all over the place having getting naked in the foam...

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            • #7
              Re: Drunks are dumb!!!

              I didn't know about the 2:45 law, but all the bars I've been in have last call before 2:00, so if you're still drinking at 2:45 you must be pretty slow.

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              • #8
                Re: Drunks are dumb!!!

                Haha, sounds like he got what was coming to him. I go to local shows here at bars, but being in a band I'm typically watching the music from afar. I've seen you bouncers take it out on some skinny emo kids, wow is that funny to watch. They think there hardcore dancing is tough, but when they start to mix it up with someone, the bouncer comes in and takes great joy in sending the kid a good 10 feet. You guys have a very difficult job, and I don't blame you guys for coming across harsher then needed in some situations.

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                • #9
                  Re: Drunks are dumb!!!

                  As a drunk, i take personal offense at the title of this thread!

                  Dirt013
                  Dirt013



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                  • #10
                    Re: Drunks are dumb!!!

                    Anytime I see someone getting picked up by bouncers or police im sitting their either mentally or verbally going "RESIST RESIST RESIST"
                    It makes the whole ordeal much more entertaining for the rest of us. That being said, theres nothing quite like having a good bouncer in a club. This one time me and my girlfriend and some of her friends were dancing on a packed dance flloor, and this one really bitchy chick kept elbowing me in the back, and im not talking about just little elbowing im talking about bruises on my back the next day. So one time she does it I back into her abruptly and kinda knock her off her step a bit. So she gets right bitchy and tells me to **** off, I tell her to **** off and my gf and her friends tell her to **** off... she continues dancing and then proceeds to start making fun of how were dancing. I mean what the hell, were there to have a good time and goof around who really cares how we dance. We just kinda let that ride and morons be morons, but then she starts elbowing me AGAIN. So i do the little back show again, but this time her pipsqueak of a boyfriend decides that its a good idea to try and pick a fight with me and gets up in my face. I just kinda stand there and he's getting all freaked out and gets ready to throw his first punch then BANG out of NOWHERE two bouncers grab him and haul him out the back. So funny... then the girl tried to insult us again before leaving.

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