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  • The Birds

    I have a horrible problem with birds crapping on my car. 40 - 60 turds nightly. They are up in a tree about 50 feet high and they are only there at night so I can't even see them. I have strung a plastic owl up there but it did nothing. I don't want to park on the street. And I don't want to cut the tree down, I'm afraid that if I just cut down the top branches with a cherry picker they will just move down to the next highest branch. I don't know what else to do, please help.

    P.S. It is illegal to fire a shotgun within the city limits.

  • #2
    Re: The Birds

    Find a good outdoor cat that hasn't been declawed. I would suggest a black cat as they tend to want to be active during the night time hours.

    If not an animal, maybe a pellet gun?

    Poisons would be too spotty and you might end up killing more than the birds.

    What kind of birds are these? Crows? Pigeons? A variety pack?
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    • #3
      Re: The Birds

      It's your fault, deal with it. That bird you hit with your car 3 years ago.... he was a popular bird. Be careful if you go out to the midwest or Canada as very large, predatorial birds can be found there. Not only is their **** bigger, but they have much better eyesite for better aim, and can cut you with talons..

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      • #4
        Re: The Birds

        Car cover.
        Iím not racists, I have republican friends. Radio show host.
        - "The essence of tyranny is the denial of complexity". -Jacob Burkhardt
        - "A foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds" - Emerson
        - "People should not be afraid of it's government, government should be afraid of it's People." - Line from V for Vendetta
        - If software were as unreliable as economic theory, there wouldn't be a plane made of anything other than paper that could get off the ground. Jim Fawcette
        - "Let me now state what seems to me the decisive objection to any conservatism which deserves to be called such. It is that by its very nature it cannot offer an alternative to the direction in which we are moving." -Friedrich Hayek
        - "Don't waist your time on me your already the voice inside my head." Blink 182 to my wife

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        • #5
          Re: The Birds

          AK-47 with 3 mags of ammo on full auto into the tree. You'll kill a few. I believe they call it spray-n-pray in counter strike.

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          • #6
            Re: The Birds

            Originally posted by El_Gringo_Grande View Post
            Car cover.
            qft
            ~~ Veritas simplex oratio est ~~
            No matter how far a wizard goes, he will always come back for his hat. --T. Pratchett

            <---- You know you're getting old when you rely on your forum meta-data to remind you how old you are.

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            • #7
              Re: The Birds

              Judging by the medley of turds there is a variety of birds up there. I don't have the patients to be futzing with a car cover. I need to outsmart them some how.

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              • #8
                Re: The Birds

                Are there any other trees nearby that are not over your car? Perhaps putting bird feeders in those trees will lure them out of the tree over your car.
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                • #9
                  Re: The Birds

                  I would suggest buying a slip cover, but it would have to be washed everyday or you would run a risk of getting sick.

                  Are they attracted to shiny things?
                  Skud


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                  • #10
                    Re: The Birds

                    Originally posted by Ferris Bueller View Post
                    AK-47 with 3 mags of ammo on full auto into the tree. You'll kill a few. I believe they call it spray-n-pray in counter strike.
                    Trash bag full of hydrogen and a fuse. Or maybe a remote detonator.

                    If you go with a car cover, be sure to use one with a glossy lining, so you can shake it clean on your neighbor's car.
                    Dude, seriously, WHAT handkerchief?

                    snooggums' density principal: "The more dense a population, the more dense a population."

                    Iliana: "You're a great friend but if we're ever chased by zombies I'm tripping you."

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                    • #11
                      Re: The Birds

                      Originally posted by Atomic Dog View Post
                      Are there any other trees nearby that are not over your car? Perhaps putting bird feeders in those trees will lure them out of the tree over your car.
                      Although I like the direction your going, I think it would encourage more crapping. They fly around the neighborhood all day and then they come home to roost in the branches above my car. I have to make them think sleeping there is a bad idea.

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                      • #12
                        Re: The Birds

                        Yeah, I don't know that there really is any solution outside of introducing some kind of predator, poison, or by simply removing their home. Unfortunate, bird crap is so foul! bah dum dum!
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                        • #13
                          Re: The Birds

                          Originally posted by Atomic Dog View Post
                          Yeah, I don't know that there really is any solution outside of introducing some kind of predator, poison, or by simply removing their home. Unfortunate, bird crap is so foul! bah dum dum!
                          Oh deary me.

                          Originally posted by Atomic Dog
                          Are there any other trees nearby that are not over your car? Perhaps putting bird feeders in those trees will lure them out of the tree over your car.
                          Try putting the feeder in the tree that is over a car belonging to a neighbor you dislike!
                          |TG-Irr| westyfield

                          Sig pic by Sonic, avatar by Chalcas. Thanks!
                          Irregular since 2007.

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                          • #14
                            Re: The Birds

                            Strobe light, like you see in a hanger.
                            The Old Guy
                            kin3
                            sigpic


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                            • #15
                              Re: The Birds

                              Remove the tree? Poisoned feeder? Make a one-way-door trap out of a birdcage with feed inside... then throw the cage into a swimming pool.

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