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Catman's magic 8ball quest

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  • Catman's magic 8ball quest

    It's late, but I've gotten some requests to publish this so I thought I throw it out to the wolves to see what kind of feedback I get. It's an unfinished work in progress.

    It was seven in the evening, I had passed the day at work by visiting internet forums and random websites in between frantic work issues that kept popping up. I had tons of work to do and being the sole provider of income for my family I should have cared that I was behind. I was just in a deep depression, work and life bored me, absolutely nothing in life excited me. Even playing games with my daughters left me feeling empty. This sadness permeated every molecule of my soul, I oozed lethargic indifference towards the world.

    I hadn’t called my wife to tell her I was going to be late, I knew that would be a fight when I got home, so I drug myself out of my semi-comfortable ass worn office chair last night and headed home. Wearily I drudged out to my filth covered Saturn, "because the car seats don't fit in the back of the Saturn, that's way you have to drive it" I heard my wife voice echoing in my head. It's not that the car is bad, it's just not cool, therefore it suits me to a T and why I hate it. The car started with no more effort than is required to turn a key and I headed, uneventfully, home.

    It was rather warm for the end of January, mid-50's, and there was a slight drizzle falling from the dark, cloud covered sky. Just enough that if you turned your wipers on the lowest setting they would inevitably give that horrible rubber on dry glass squeak, but enough that you have to manually wipe the windshield frequently. I had a vision in between the monotonous manual clearing of the windshield. It was beyond description....... The best I can do is: I saw what appeared to be the faint outline of a female form, when I tried to focus on the outline it simply disappeared, or maybe it wasn’t me focusing on her that made her disappear, maybe she was fading in and out of this world. She was falling, I felt as if she had been falling for several hours and that she should be capable of saving herself. I felt an unquenchable desire to catch her to save her from falling. She repeatedly fell past me and all I could do was to look on in horror. Whenever she approached me on her downfall I felt waves of warmth, compassion and comfort wash over me and then, after she passed, I felt empty, hollow, dead. Then I flashed to a war, I was too far away to see any of the detail, but it felt wrong, it was as if every blow from the battle I felt deep in my soul. I flashed to another male form, he was more defined and I felt an attraction to him, my heart tugged towards the form, it yearned for him. I saw the form take after the female form I had previously seen falling. I came out of my vision, it had felt like hours, but had only lasted the length of a stoplight.

    So following the vision I stopped at Office Depot and purchased some 1099-Misc forms (with software), a pack of blue, Bic Pens and 2 Gigs of Ram. I meandered over to Best Buy where I bumped into a gentleman standing about 5'6" tall, a man who blends in with a crowd and is easily missed by most people. I apologized and handed the man the pens I had just bought from Office Depot and proceeded quickly from the store.

    The tornado sirens were going off as I approached my car, "Odd I thought, it's barely sprinkling" I started the car and headed home once again.

    As I headed home the sky opened up as if it had been holding up all of the water on earth and it suddenly needed to be back. For the first time ever, I slowed down and put on my hazard lights and crept home. It was as if this was a foretelling of my future.

    When I arrived home, I noticed the front door to my house was open, I found my wife laying on the couch. I ran to her, I pressed my index and middle finger just to the left of her throat and quieted to feel for a pulse. She jumped up and frightened the crap out of me. She cursed at me for scaring her, but I asked about the children and she explained that she had put them to bed already.

    I went into the kitchen to fix myself some dinner. I heated up some leftover pot roast and potatoes from two nights prior. I spooned my dinner onto a plate and put it into the microwave. I got out a knife and fork and stopped for a minute. I held the knife in my right hand and turned my wrist over and started at the bulging vein and laid the knife next to it. I held it there for awhile, my depression had come to a head, it had been settling into my soul like a fog rolling into a harbor. It was inevitable, you knew it was coming and felt helpless to stop it. It was worse than it had ever been, I had found myself in this same position several times in the last few weeks. Dozens of thoughts filled my head in that moment, if I cut it, would it be enough to kill me? No I couldn't do that to my wife. I thought about going up to our master bathroom, putting a note on the door telling my wife to call the police and to not open the door and shoot myself. I knew something was wrong in my head, normal people don't think this way, do they? Nothing in my life was that bad that I needed to end it. Work sucked, sometimes I hated everything about my life and nothing seemed good, so why didn't I just change it? Michele came in and asked me what in the hell I was doing, I snapped out of my trance, dismissed her question with a, “What......... oh nothing.” and got my plate out of the microwave.

    I sat down and watched whatever crappy show happened to be on. Michele and I didn't talk, we watched TV. I missed not seeing my girls that night, but the way I had been feeling, I knew I would have to put on a front and “play” happy all the while feeling like I just wanted to die. A thought swirled in my head "8ball" The sudden downpour had made me forget my original mission. My wife had fallen back to sleep and I knew I had to leave. So I headed back out.

    I was pulled back toward Indianapolis, shortly before Indy, I pulled off of the interstate on 10th street and continued towards downtown. I made a right turn into a neighborhood that, was "below average" if you will and while I would have normally been uncomfortable, felt right at home. I saw one house on that road that stuck out in my mind among all of the others. I was drawn to it, only after I had parked my car and was stepping foot on the front lawn did I notice the sign, "Sheniqua's House of Some Strange **** and Psychic Readings yo" I stepped up the front walkway and the wooden steps creaked underfoot. I reached out to knock on the door and an African-American man opened the door. Without a word he stepped to the side and extended the arm that hadn't opened the door pointing me into the only lit room in the house. It was lit with candles and the shadows created unimaginable demon shadows on the bookshelves that lined every wall in the house.

    "Sit Catman" said a woman easily still in her early 20's. Her voice almost sang to me and I followed her instructions as if in a trance, never asking how she knew my name. "You are here seeking an object. This object has immense power and is very important towards all of mankind. It is destined to be wielded by you, yet many others will stand in your way. Believe it or not your self-hatred and your unrelenting desire to kill anything you deem evil will serve you well on your quest. I can only start you on your quest I can not tell you what to do, but your task starts in Japan. You could very well lose your family, but you must go on this quest, the fate of mankind does rest in your hands." Without another word she stood up and left the room. The next moment I was back in my car a new pile of papers on my passenger seat. I headed for home just knowing that's what I had to do.

    Along my long drive home I felt as if I was waking from a very deep sleep. I began to feel groggy and fought hard to keep my eyes from closing. I pulled off onto a gas station and fueled up with Mountain Dew and cherry pies. Hating myself as I finished the cherry pie and half of the Mountain Dew, I began to ponder if I could accomplish the task set before me. It would be dangerous, but what choice did I have? I couldn't discuss it with my wife, she would think I had finally gone off of the deep end and have me committed. I had been through an “Intensive Outpatient Program” or group therapy. I attended therapy four days a week for four hours each night for eight weeks. It was the happiest I had been in a long time. I had people I could talk to without worrying about being judged and treated differently. My wife thought I needed to be committed then, if I started talking about psychics from the ghetto telling me I needed to travel to Japan to get a magic 8 ball and save mankind, I can't even begin to imagine what she would think.

    I pulled up in the driveway and went inside. It was nearly 1 am by the time I returned home I was charged with energy and ready to go. The realization of what I was about to do suddenly turned my stomach, while my wife and I had been having marital problems and very likely on the verge of a divorce, I loved my two daughters more than I could have ever described to anyone and the thought of leaving them made me sick. I grabbed the video camera and made a little message for both of them, in case I would happen to not make it back. I fumbled through the messages not being able to describe what I could possibly be thinking to abandon them, even if for a short period of time. I wrote my wife a letter, just telling her that I had to leave and while I shouldn't be gone for more than six months, I explained the possibility of my not returning, I told her that I would send her postcards whenever I could and if she ever stopped receiving them, I will have left this world. I wrote, "I love you" and it felt out of place, but was important to me that I write it. I kissed both of my girls on the head and wished them the best of luck.

    I headed to the airport the flight I needed was leaving in just 30 minutes in a very short time frame I was headed for Tokyo, Japan....

    The flight was a long uncomfortable one. Not being favorable to cramped spaces, I felt the urge to get up and move, however I was overcome with the fear that if I got up and moved it would throw the plane off of balance, the pilots would lose control and we would crash into the ground. Irrational, yes, real enough to me, yes.

    I landed in Tokyo and wandered the streets as if an invisible force was leading me to my destiny. I felt the same pull that I had felt during my “vision”. I walked for miles, the big building and bright lights gave way to smaller, unkempt buildings and busted out street lights. I walked from alleyway through alleyway, through a maze of streets and what can best be described as passages. The people who lived here noticed me, but paid no attention to me, it was as if I was one of them, just on my way home.

    Then I was surrounded and my lightheartedness of my quest quickly faded. There were about 4-5 goons surrounding me, they were apparently born to be thugs. They had faces that only a mother could love, they were wirey and lean, remnants from battles past marked every part of their exposed skin, they were battle hardened soldiers. I was a fat, soft accountant from Indiana, I knew better than to fight these men, I would have to do whatever they wanted. (WHATEVER *SHUDDER*) The man that controlled them stepped forward and greeted me and instructed me to follow him. He explained that they knew I was seeking the mystic 8ball and told me that they were here to help me on my quest. I felt deep in my bones that they were not here to help me and they only wanted the 8ball for themselves, but I played along and walked a step or two behind the boss. As we walked away I could feel a tug wanting me to go back where I had come from, but that would have to wait until I could escape these men.

    I was led to a building that I was sure was condemned and warned by my new found "friends" that many warring factions of the Yakuza were wanting the 8ball for themselves. It had been fortold that an American would come in search of the 8ball with the knowledge and ability to find it. They had "obviously" saved me from the bad Yakuza faction that would have easily tortured me for this information. I was shown my bed, told to rest and heard the door locked behind me. I quickly turned and was explained that it was for my protection.

    I settled in, a mattress lay on the floor along with a tattered blanket and filthy pillow. I threw the pillow aside and quickly fell asleep.

    I was waken by the boss as he strode into my "room". He told me that his men were well rested and were ready to accompany me on my mission to find the 8ball. I offered no resistance and the man stepped out of the doorway and I exited my room. They all stared at me as if waiting for something. I looked at the boss, "Well show me the way." A look of shock spread across the man's face. "I don't know where we are going," the man stated, "It is your quest to find the 8ball we are only here to help." I explained to him part of my vision and that while I was led to this country, I didn't know where to find the 8ball, but I knew there were people who were here to help me find it. A sharp pain shot from the back of my head and to my eyes, which immediately went dark.

    I awoke strapped to a chair in a room not to dissimilar from the one I had slept in. All of the men stood around me, a slight grin on their faces. I knew what was next, they did not believe that I came to their country on a whim, I had to know where the 8ball was. They were going to torture me. The boss stepped in, I knew I was in for a long day, he had a rubber apron on, that appeared to have remnants from his last guest still clinging to it. He brought with him a tray of rusty, metal instruments, their sole purpose, extracting information. They asked about the 8ball, not knowing I was subjected to a furious round of beatings from the men. Surprising, the pain was not as great as I had expected. Little did I know that I had been prepared for this my entire life.

    I had lived with pain a great part of my life, I had a kidney disease that caused me to get numerous kidney stones about once a year. That pain was truly indescribable, imagine a spiked police baton being shoved down into an area midway between your genitals and belly button and just to either side. Then being twisted and rammed in and out of your body. I became to relish the pain from those stones, I laughed a sick laugh, not of pure delight, but delight soured with a hint of pain. Beyond that I had not endured any physical pain, but emotional pain I had lots of. A child of divorce at a very young age, I came to take care of my younger brother because of my mother's commitments to provide food and shelter for us. I became responsible and felt the need to please everyone I came across and a need to be perfect. This was the cause of my deep emotional distress. I knew I could never be perfect and I hated myself for it, however, when I felt that hatred building, I pulled all of my hatred inward and bound it in a tight little ball in the middle of my soul. Every emotional distress, every time I was scorned for not being perfect, every time a girl/woman turned me down/ every time I felt angry, I balled it up, pushed it into the middle of my soul and bound it to everything else I had previously locked away.

    Another round of fists battered my ribs and face. This wasn't so bad after all, sure it hurt, but not as much as my kidney stones. I dealt with this pain the same way I did before. I let out a little laugh. Everyone was shocked they turned to their boss, who dismissed their piercing eyes with even a look and picked up a scalpel. He came close and whispered, "No point in being brave, this isn't the movies. Everyone succumbs to the pain at some point. It only takes time." I knew he was right but as he tore at my skin with that dull rusty blade, I attempted to meditate. It was a skill I picked up in group therapy and I had mastered taking myself into deep meditation so I could cope with my stress. Then everything changed, I felt the scalp tear into my flesh and I snapped out of my meditative state and yelled in the shock of the pain.

    My torturer smiled at my pain, he knew I was going to be easy to break. He laughed inside of his head, I could see the satisfaction. The problem was this was only going to fuel his vigor of my torture. I'm sure the quicker he broke me, the more pleased he knew his bosses would be with him.

    The opening in my side was then packed with salt. Involuntarily, my muscles contracted on my right side, where I had been opened up and tears formed in my eyes. Then another round of punching bag practice on me and then a round of dunking in a tank of old slimey water. This went on for several hours. I am not to proud to say I broke down and cried, I begged for the torture to stop, I begged for my life and I begged for them to not take meI from my wife and children. Every time the torture stopped, the questions started and I didn't have any answers.

    Finally, I drifted out of consciousness and I imagined myself drifting into my soul and into the center of my body where that black ball of hatred and rage lie twitching and itching to break free. For some reason, I asked it if it were ready to be free, the ball of black quivered and the buzzing coming from within sounded as if it was going to burst. "YES" the black ball hissed at me, "let us go, and we will take care of these cowards." I laughed, "If I let you all out surely I will be dead from the shear shock to my body. I will let some of you free but leave the boss for me." The ball hissed and quivered, but it knew from the state of things there would be time to set all of them free and agreed. I cut a piece of the ball free and released the bond from it. The blackness filled my soul and spread throughout my body and I was lost in a sea of black. I caught flashes of a brutal attack born from my soul. I heard faint sounds of terror and blood curdling screams. A flash of fist hitting teeth, the cracking sounds as the teeth gave way to the fist and unmentionable others.

    The blackness lifted and faded into nothing. I swam back to consciousness and before me sat the boss strapped in my chair, virtually untouched, the pieces of the other men lay scattered across the room and the man looked at me with such fear in his eyes, they almost couldn't contain it.

    I leaned close to him and whispered into his ear, "When they find this room they will know that out of rage I killed your men, but a cold calculating murderer took pleasure in your slow demise." I knew my enemies needed to fear me, plus I wanted revenge for taking me from my path. He shook and pleaded for his life, he whined about a wife and children. I remarked, "You didn't care about mine." Then came feeble lies about how I wasn't going to be killed, etc., but I blocked his voice from my mind and set to work. I peeled back the man's skin from his chest and cut the muscles covering his breast bone, I took the soldering iron from the table and sealed his wounds before proceeding. I took the large set of clippers from the table and being unable to cut through the breast bone, I cut through the ribs on either side of the breast bone and spread them apart to expose his heart and lungs. He started to go into shock, but a quick cut into the stomach brought him back to me. He didn't deserve to die quickly, but I was feeling the exhaustion from the hours of torture I had endured creeping up on me and I didn't know how long I could stay conscious. I wrapped my hand around his heart and squeezed it ever so gently and let go. The next time I ripped it from the veins and arteries holding it in place and took a bite of it in front of the dead man before discarding it on the ground and walking out of this hell hole.

    The effort exerted leaving my prison landed on me like I was the last piece of cake on fat woman planet. My eyes would not stay open. Inside my head I was screaming at myself, "GET YOUR FAT ASS UP AND MOVE !!!!!!!!!" "SERIOUSLY IF I HAVE TO COME OUT BECAUSE YOU CAN'T WALK TO SAFETY, I'LL KILL YOU MYSELF!!!" and other such colorful "motivational" phrases for myself. I couldn't do it, I stumbled and fell towards the ground, my hands reaching out in a desperate hope of finding something to grab onto, only to have my fingernails catch some old bricks and shear off of my fingers. Even that pain was not enough to keep me conscious, I slowly drifted into .........

    I suddenly felt two sets of arms slide under my unconscious body and struggle to lift me. I was too exhausted for panic or fear to set in, I was willing to accept any fate that came from these people lifting my seemingly lifeless body up out of that back alley way gutter. Two more sets of hands helped to raise me to my feet and drag me away. I was set down in some kind of car or van. It was warm and dry, if I hadn't had trouble passing out in the alley, I surely would never retained consciousness in this v............

    I came to in a room just big enough to sleep in. I was naked, laying in a small bed that occupied much of the floor space. There was a chair with some clothes on it. I check my hands, ran my fingers across my face imagining the sort of blood I must be covered in and made a quick dash for the mirror. I noticed that my face and hair had been washed and brushed into a style I couldn't imagine doing on my own, maybe it was someone's idea of a joke. I turned on the water and used the hairbrush that was on the sink to put my hair into more of a respectable state. When I finished I went over to the table and dressed with the clothes that had been left for me. I noticed a small cardboard box at the foot of the bed, with a piece of blood stained clothing that appeared to be attempting to escape from the cardboard box without being spotted. I picked up the box and realized that these were my clothes, it was apparent that they had been washed, but the blood and gore from my escape was still present. It almost appeared as if the two had been fused together.

    I threw the box down and the door clicked open. I hadn't taken much time to consider if I was in danger or not, but that time had past, nothing to do but......well I guess I'd just wait

    The door open cautiously, a saw a young woman stepped into the room. To say she was beautiful would be an insult, she instantly made me forget everything that had happened to me earlier and I knew I'd be heartbroken the minute she left my sight. Behind her was an ancient man, he looked as if a stiff wind would dissipate every molecule of his being into oblivion. She escorted him into the room and sat him down on the bed. She translated as he spoke. He welcomed me and hoped that I was feeling better. He had known that I had been taken and had organized a small group of volunteers to come get me from my captors. They had found me laying in the street and had witnessed the aftermath of my escape. He wanted to know how I escaped and who had helped me, he seemed unbelieving when I told him I had escaped on my own, hell who would believe it?

    He then told me about the magic 8ball that I was seeking and the power that it possessed. There was a legend that it was created near the beginning of time and the Creator had put the item on earth to assist mankind in the event of Her death. The war in heaven had never ended and she knew her existence was in constant peril and wanted to provide a means of knowledge to her favorite creation. It was written that the 8ball could only be obtained after her demise and when this happened one would come looking for it. *My original vision started to make some sense at this point* He would have the knowledge on how to locate the object and would need assistance. The ancient man's people had guarded this information since the beginning of time and have reluctantly been preparing and waiting for this man to come seeking the object. He believed I was the one and the the Creator no longer existed.......

    I told the man the parts of my vision that I was able to understand and put into words. He was terribly concerned about the war and the male angel I had been drawn to. He wasn't able to offer any insight into why I had experienced this vision, but the feeling for the angel was unnatural and he warned me to be hyper vigilant. He told me that I had been though a lot the last few days and I needed to rest. He knew that there was much more for us to discuss, but I needed to rest. He motioned to his assistant who help him to his feet and escorted him out of the room. The door shut and I fully expected to hear the click of a lock, but I didn't.

    I creeped over to the door and peeked out, there were no guards and I appeared to be in a very well cared for house. It wasn't a spectacular house, it was very small and ordinary, but unlike the neighboring houses, these owners had enough money to keep up on the repairs to their house. Feeling more comfortable in my new surroundings I laid back on the bed and fell into a very deep sleep.

    It was not a restful sleep, I was tortured with visions.

    I awoke being cradled by the male form from my vision. On the surface his warm embrace made me drift into oblivion and it felt like ecstasy. Then a realization came over me, this was the sweet abyss of ignorance, not ecstasy. Then I was paralyzed with fear. I knew this creature (in the meaning that he was not human) needed me for something and would do whatever was necessary to keep me. He looked into my eyes and the soft smile turned into a scowl and he flew up through me. As I crashed on the floor, a prison cage appeared around me, just as I was able to shake off the paralyzing fear that he gripped my very essence of being. He flew around and around the cage, sizing me up, wondering how I knew his plans for me. Then, I saw the falling figure again, far off in the distance, I knew this was the Creator and she needed my help, but I had betrayed her by falling for the male creatures ruse and false hope of peacefulness. The creature spoke, “You can not save her, you may think you see her, but you'll never reach her in time.”

    I stared dumbfounded, not knowing what to do, I asked what he was. I was really afraid that somehow this conversation would lead to me coming to trust this creature when I eventually ran into him outside of a vision or dream. He explained that he was an angel.

    He was an angel. He looked into me and stated that the "Creator" was not the being that humans thought she was. She created suffering and damnation for humans, he and his fellow angels thought that we as a species deserved to be free from "religion" and the Creator's rules for us. We should live free and be able to do as we please, her rules were meant to make us suffer, he reached towards me.

    I awoke in a start. For a moment I saw my children. My heart died when I saw them fade. My self-doubt crept in and I put my head in my hands and sobbed.

    The door pushed open and a head poked in, "You OK" the voice called.

    "i'm ok" I weakly answered.

    "You don't sound OK" and a body pushed into my room.

    I don't know what I'm doing here. I left my wife and family to pursue a f*cking vision. I shook my head and sobbed some more. What in the name of the all that's holy, would I leave my children.

    He sat next to me and I hadn't looked at him, I kept my head buried in my hands.

    From what I've heard you're a very important person and you have a very important job to do. It may not seem important to you now, but my friends and I have traveled a very long way and waited for many years to assist you on your quest. We didn't even know who you were and we all picked up our families and moved to this country to train and prepare for your arrival. We all came here one at a time from all over the world. You may have your doubts, but your task is important.

    Why, why in the hell. You guys at least brought your family, I just left.

    You couldn't bring them. He put his arm around my neck and gave me a squeeze. They'll be able to understand later why you came. You need to focus though.

    My mind cleared and my purpose became clear. I thanked the man and asked his name.

    Paul and it's nice to meet you catman.

    You've helped me tremendously.

    That's what I do.
    Big-eye101: "A true catman post a day keeps the bad mood away"

    Please do not take any posts made by Catman seriously. If you begin to take his posts seriously, please seek psychiatric attention.



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