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  • Retirement Job at Wal-Mart

    Sent to me via email from a good friend of my fathers:

    As many of you know, I had ambitions of finding a simple, uncomplicated part-time job after retiring. Unfortunately, as I have gotten a little older, I have become a little less sensitive. So after landing my new job as a Wal-Mart greeter, a good find for many retirees, I lasted less than a day ......

    About two hours into my first day on the job, a very loud, obese, mean-acting woman walked into the store with her two kids, yelling obscenities at them all the way through the entrance.

    As I had been instructed, I said pleasantly, 'Good morning, and welcome to Wal-Mart. Nice children you have there. Are they twins?'

    The woman stopped yelling at her kids long enough to say, 'Hell no, they ain't twins. The older one's 9, and the other one's 7. Why the hell would you think they're twins? Are you blind, or just stupid?'

    So I replied, 'I'm neither blind nor stupid, Ma'am, I just couldn't believe you got laid twice. Have a good day and thank you for shopping at Wal-Mart.'

    My supervisor said I probably wasn't cut out for this line of work .......
    Randy = Ace ! - Warlab
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    Town of Mamaroneck Fire Dept.

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    We are not trying to attract mainstream gamers."


  • #2
    Re: Retirement Job at Wal-Mart

    Hahahaha!


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    • #3
      Re: Retirement Job at Wal-Mart

      nice
      ~~ Veritas simplex oratio est ~~
      No matter how far a wizard goes, he will always come back for his hat. --T. Pratchett

      <---- You know you're getting old when you rely on your forum meta-data to remind you how old you are.

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      • #4
        Re: Retirement Job at Wal-Mart

        :icon_lol:
        |TG-18th| Acreo Aeneas
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        Still can't say it? Call me Acorn then. -.-





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        • #5
          Re: Retirement Job at Wal-Mart

          Lmao
          sigpic
          "Volatilis Quod Mactabilis"


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          • #6
            Re: Retirement Job at Wal-Mart

            Super LOL!
            |TG|ARMA Pathfinder
            ..now where did I put my keys?

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            • #7
              Re: Retirement Job at Wal-Mart

              Had to share this...lol

              The Devil's Lawsuit
              There was a contruction worker who was working on a building when he fell 15 stories to his bloody death.

              He arrived at the pearly gates and St. Peter said "Oh, I am sorry, my son. But you have been sentenced to hell."

              The worker agreed - not like he could do anything else - and he was on his way.

              When he arrived, the devil looked at him and said, "Ah! A new slave. We shall burn you and throw you in the fiery pits."

              Then the worker replied, "That wall could use a bit of patching. I could fix it first and you could throw me in the pit afterward." So he fixed the wall.

              Satan, intrigued, asked, "What else can you build?"

              So the construction worker went about his job and made many improvements; in fact, by the time he was done, hell was a paradise. It had air conditioning, pools, balconies, you name it.

              Within a few days, God phoned Satan and said, "I think there has been a mix-up. That worker was originally supposed to come to heaven."

              Satan replied, "No way -- he's built all sorts of useful stuff for us. We're keeping him."

              God then said, "Oh, yeah? Well, I'll see you in court. We're going to sue you for this man's soul and damages."

              Satan just laughed: "And where are you going to find a lawyer?"
              sigpic
              "Volatilis Quod Mactabilis"


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              • #8
                Re: Retirement Job at Wal-Mart

                Smooth, real smooth.

                I think I have heard that Satan law suit one before and I still think it's great.
                "We can not ensure success, but we can deserve it." - John Adams
                "Sometimes I guess there just aren't enough rocks." - Forrest Gump






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                • #9
                  Re: Retirement Job at Wal-Mart

                  Sounds about right with Wal-Mart's demographic.

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                  • #10
                    Re: Retirement Job at Wal-Mart

                    Like the Saying to Assume makes an Arse out of you and me...lol
                    sigpic
                    "Volatilis Quod Mactabilis"


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                    • #11
                      Re: Retirement Job at Wal-Mart

                      Originally posted by Delta*RandyShugart* View Post
                      Sent to me via email from a good friend of my fathers:

                      As many of you know, I had ambitions of finding a simple, uncomplicated part-time job after retiring. Unfortunately, as I have gotten a little older, I have become a little less sensitive. So after landing my new job as a Wal-Mart greeter, a good find for many retirees, I lasted less than a day ......

                      About two hours into my first day on the job, a very loud, obese, mean-acting woman walked into the store with her two kids, yelling obscenities at them all the way through the entrance.

                      As I had been instructed, I said pleasantly, 'Good morning, and welcome to Wal-Mart. Nice children you have there. Are they twins?'

                      The woman stopped yelling at her kids long enough to say, 'Hell no, they ain't twins. The older one's 9, and the other one's 7. Why the hell would you think they're twins? Are you blind, or just stupid?'

                      So I replied, 'I'm neither blind nor stupid, Ma'am, I just couldn't believe you got laid twice. Have a good day and thank you for shopping at Wal-Mart.'

                      My supervisor said I probably wasn't cut out for this line of work .......
                      Epic. I Lol'd



                      -- I always wanted TG to be different than anyone else out there. We need to be unique in what we offer and how we play, if not we are simply competing with everyone else. --
                      The BigC

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                      • #12
                        Re: Retirement Job at Wal-Mart

                        Walmart - as a teacher, I've totally wanted to say things like that before. I have... ONCE. long story.

                        Hell - I'd heard that, but with an Engineer. Good one.
                        "Sympathy means a lot, coming from Kulmar. I didn't think it was possible.
                        Good luck getting rid of your disease. If you're infected, though, stay away--I can't afford to be a zombie right now.
                        " Ednos


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                        • #13
                          Re: Retirement Job at Wal-Mart

                          Both very funny. The Wal-Mart story had me laughing.
                          sigpic

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                          • #14
                            Re: Retirement Job at Wal-Mart

                            Pwnage!!!!!!

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