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Simple Creatures 2 - The Man Rules

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  • Simple Creatures 2 - The Man Rules

    It's funny cause it's true :row1_23:

    • Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down!?
    • Sunday sports: It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.
    • Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!
    • Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
    • Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
    • Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become Null and void after 7 Days.
    • If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.
    • If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.
    • You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done... not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.
    • Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials.
    • ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Salmon is a fish. We have no idea what mauve is.
    • If it itches, it will be scratched.
    • If we ask what is wrong and you say 'nothing', we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.
    • If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.
    • When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine... really.

    • You have enough clothes.
    • You have too many shoes.
    • Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as football or gaming.
    • Thank you for reading this. Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch* tonight.










    * you know we really don't mind that, right? It's like camping.

  • #2
    Re: Simple Creatures 2 - The Man Rules

    Hilarious :p.

    Comment


    • #3
      Re: Simple Creatures 2 - The Man Rules

      Originally posted by WhiskeySix View Post
      It's funny cause it's true :row1_23:
      [*]Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down!?
      See I've conquered this problem by just leaving the seat down when I use it. When your wife/girlfriend sits on a wet seat the first time, you tell her you were feeling bad because you were always forgetting to put the seat down, so you decided to leave it down all of the time, you hadn't noticed that you had soaked the seat. :row__739: They'll ask you to start putting the seat up.
      Big-eye101: "A true catman post a day keeps the bad mood away"

      Please do not take any posts made by Catman seriously. If you begin to take his posts seriously, please seek psychiatric attention.

      Comment


      • #4
        Re: Simple Creatures 2 - The Man Rules

        Originally posted by WhiskeySix View Post
        • If we ask what is wrong and you say 'nothing', we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.
        Wow. This rings so true for me. That's how I deal with it, but sadly it never seems to end there.
        "Common sense is not so common." -Voltaire

        Comment


        • #5
          Re: Simple Creatures 2 - The Man Rules

          You tell em son!, but i leave the toilet seat up because Im polite and don't really care most of the time. If this is what you explained to her than no wonder your sleeping on the couch, you still the man of the house :)


          Comment


          • #6
            Re: Simple Creatures 2 - The Man Rules

            Originally posted by WhiskeySix View Post
            It's funny cause it's true :row1_23:

            • Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down!?

            • Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!
            • Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
            • Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
            • Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become Null and void after 7 Days.
            • If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.
            • If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.
            • You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done... not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.
            • Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials.
            • ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Salmon is a fish. We have no idea what mauve is.
            • If it itches, it will be scratched.
            • If we ask what is wrong and you say 'nothing', we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.
            • If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.
            • When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine... really.

            • You have enough clothes.
            • You have too many shoes.

            I don't bother with the toilet seat since i have good aim. Too many video games :D.

            My dad and i get yelled at all the time from subtle hints we don't pickup. When my mom says "The drive is slippery" she actually mean "I want you to scrap the ice and salt the Driveway". If you don't pick up, she'll do it herself and then torture you for the rest of the day.

            Yes.

            I like hearing the gripes of people, get me closer to girls at school. Though in my mother and sister's case, i just say to them "Is their anything that i can actually, physically, do?"

            Oh god.

            No one is fat, they're healthy and beautiful.

            My mother says i'm oozing sarcasm in all my comments, even though i mean the opposite of what see thinks. I try to say what i mean but she won't listen.

            My dad and i were working in the garden (bad idea) we spend 5 hours ramming poles into the ground and are just about done when my mother comes out and tells us we need to yank them out of the ground and rearrange them >.<.

            I'm from a family of artists, so i see basically all the colors other men are blind too. I know mauve since i have a cat that is colored it :D.
            |TG-6th|SirNerd

            My Resume includes Pirate, Mercenary, and a Devil Dog, what else do you want.

            Pain is Inevitable, Suffering is Optional.

            When you can't run anymore, you crawl and when you can't do that, you find someone to carry you.

            Comment


            • #7
              Re: Simple Creatures 2 - The Man Rules

              Hmmmm...Never had much in terms of relationships (because I feel I'm not ready yet maybe). But in dealing with a house was full of females for most of my life, and also having advice from experienced friends, I as told that communication and compromise is among the best tools used to reach a good understanding with both you and your significant other. I know that things won't always be clear, especially with a girlfriend, mother, or even female siblings, but it's good to try and be clear and/or concise with the opposite gender. LOL, you don't hint with each other unless you know each other to some degree, otherwise, say what you have to say at times if it bothers you a lot ladies, especially if your guy doesn't come on any great understanding with hints.


              That was my 2 cents on this. :p
              Coffee is rather like life. It can often be bitter, yet robust the more older you get. But that really depends on how you make of life as your own slips by.

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              • #8
                Re: Simple Creatures 2 - The Man Rules

                lol

                Comment

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