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Men-mars, women-venus?

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  • Men-mars, women-venus?

    Subject: Offered by an English professor

    Here's a prime example of "Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus", offered by
    an English professor from the University of Phoenix :

    The professor told his class one day: "Today we will experiment with a new
    writing form called the tandem story. The process is simple. Each person will
    pair off with the person sitting to his or her immediate right. As homework
    tonight, one of you will write the first paragraph of a short story. You will
    e-mail your partner that paragraph and send
    another copy to me. The partner will read the first paragraph and then add
    another paragraph to the story and send it back, also sending another copy to

    The first person will then add a third paragraph, and so on back-and-forth.

    Remember to reread what has been written each time in order to keep the story
    coherent. There is be absolutely NO talking outside of the e-mails, and anything
    you wish to say must be written in the e-mail. The story is over when both agree
    a conclusion has been reached."

    The following was actually turned in by two of his English students: Rebecca and

    (First paragraph by Rebecca)

    At first, Laurie couldn't decide which kind of tea she wanted. The chamomile,
    which used to be her favorite for lazy evenings at home, now reminded her too
    much of Carl, who once said, in happier times, that he liked chamomile. But she
    felt she must now, at all costs, keep her mind off Carl. His possessiveness was
    suffocating, and if she thought about him too much her asthma started acting up
    again. So chamomile was out of the question.

    (Second paragraph by Gary)

    Meanwhile, Advance Sergeant Carl Harris, leader of the attack squadron now in
    orbit over Skylon 4, had more important things to think about than the neuroses
    of an air-headed asthmatic bimbo named Laurie with whom he had spent one sweaty
    night over a year ago. "A.S. Harris to Geostation 17," he said into his
    transgalactic communicator. "Polar
    orbit established. No sign of resistance so far..." But before he could sign
    off, a bluish particle beam flashed out of nowhere and blasted a hole through
    his ship's cargo bay. The jolt from the direct hit sent him flying out of his
    seat and across the cockpit.

    (Third paragraph by Rebecca)

    He bumped his head and died almost immediately, but not before he felt one last
    pang of regret for psychically brutalizing the one woman who had ever had
    feelings for him. Soon afterwards, Earth stopped its pointless hostilities
    towards the peaceful farmers of Skylon. "Congress Passes Law Permanently
    Abolishing War and Space Travel," Laurie read in her newspaper one morning. The
    news simultaneously excited her and bored her. She stared out the window,
    dreaming of her youth, when the days had passed unhurriedly and carefree, with
    no newspaper to read, no television to distract her from her sense of innocent
    wonder at all the beautiful things around her... "Why must one lose one's
    innocence to become a woman?" she pondered wistfully.

    (Fourth paragraph by Gary )

    Little did she know, but she had less than 10 seconds to live. Thousands of
    miles above the city, the Anu'udrian mothership launched the first of its
    lithium fusion missiles. The dim-witted wimpy peaceniks who pushed the
    Unilateral Aerospace Disarmament Treaty through the congress had left Earth a
    defenseless target for the hostile alien empires who were determined to destroy
    the human race. Within two hours after the passage of the treaty, the Anu'udrian
    ships were on course for Earth, carrying enough firepower to pulverize the
    entire planet. With no one to stop them, they swiftly initiated their diabolical
    plan. The lithium fusion missile entered the atmosphere unimpeded. The
    President, in his top-secret mobile submarine headquarters on the ocean floor
    off the coast of Guam, felt the inconceivably massive explosion, which vaporized
    poor, stupid, Laurie and 85 m illion other Americans. The President slammed his
    fist on the conference table. "We can't allow this! I'm going to veto that
    treaty! Let's blow 'em out of the sky!"

    (Fifth paragraph by Rebecca)

    This is absurd. I refuse to continue this mockery of literature. My writing
    partner is a violent, chauvinistic, semi-literate adolescent.

    (Sixth paragraph by Gary )

    Yeah? Well, you're a self-centered tedious neurotic cow whose attempts at
    writing are the literary equivalent of Valium. "Oh, shall I have chamomile tea?
    Or shall I have some other sort of ****ING TEA??? Oh no, I'm such an air headed
    bimbo who reads too many Danielle Steele novels!"

    (Seveth paragraph by Rebecca)


    (Eight paragraph by Gary )


    (Ninth paragraph by Rebecca)


    (Tenth paragraph by Gary )

    Go drink some ****ing chamomile tea you stupid slut!


    A+ - I really liked this one
    Become a supporting member!
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    TacticalGamer TX LAN/BBQ Veteran:

  • #2
    Re: Men-mars, women-venus?

    ROFLMAO :floor slap:


    • #3
      Re: Men-mars, women-venus?



      • #4
        Re: Men-mars, women-venus?

        That is awesome. Simply put. Nothing more. LOL.

        |CS:S Dev Team|

        root: I do it to
        steve: OMG
        steve: TOO
        root: ****ing hell
        root: Spelling nazi down! MEDIC!

        Go ahead, you know you all envy me, I corrected root's grammar :D


        • #5
          Re: Men-mars, women-venus?

          Thats classic! They should write a book!


          • #6
            Re: Men-mars, women-venus?

            A man wanted to get married. He was having trouble choosing
            among three
            likely candidates, so he gave each woman a present of $5,000
            observed to see what they would do with the money.

            The first does a total make over. She goes to a fancy beauty
            salon, gets
            her hair done and new make up, buys several new outfits, and
            dresses up
            very nicely for the man. She tells him that she has done this
            to be more
            attractive for him because she loves him so much. The man is

            The second goes shopping to buy the man gifts. She gets him a
            new set of
            golf clubs, some new gizmos for his computer, and some
            clothes. As she presents these gifts, she tells him that she
            has spent
            all the money on him because she loves him so much. Again, the
            man is

            The third invests the money in the stock market. She earns
            several times
            the $5,000. She gives him back his $5000 and reinvests the
            remainder in
            a joint account. She tells him that she wants to save for
            their future
            because she loves him so much. Obviously, the man is

            The man thought for a long time about what each woman had done
            with the
            money he'd given her. Then, he married the one with the
            biggest boobs.

            Men are like that, you know.

            There is more money being spent on breast implants and Viagra
            today than
            on Alzheimer's research. This means that by 2040, there should
            be a
            large elderly population with perky boobs and huge erections
            absolutely no recollection of what to do with them.
            Become a supporting member!
            Buy a Tactical Duck!
            Take the world's smallest political quiz! "I was touched by His Noodly Appendage."
            TacticalGamer TX LAN/BBQ Veteran:


            • #7
              Re: Men-mars, women-venus?

              Haha that's awesome.


              • #8
                Re: Men-mars, women-venus?

                That is a classic. I'm in tears right now!!!

                Thanks I need that.


                • #9
                  Re: Men-mars, women-venus?

                  I need more Cing, itís like I am on crack. Those are great fun.


                  • #10
                    Re: Men-mars, women-venus?

                    That is awesome! I actually started smiling and cracking up Cing!(Thats a really big achievement for me). Thanks alot man (I still have to read the second)
                    [age-c1] [gchq-c1] [air2] [tog-c1][tpf-c1]


                    • #11
                      Re: Men-mars, women-venus?

                      /r/ing sauce

                      I DEMAND IT


                      • #12
                        Re: Men-mars, women-venus?

                        Originally posted by AzzMan
                        /r/ing sauce

                        I DEMAND IT


                        • #13
                          Re: Men-mars, women-venus?

                          Originally posted by rs_al
                          I can't believe someone got it.

                          BIX NOOD GET!




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