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  • a fearsome cult

    At New York's Kennedy airport, an individual later discovered to
    be a public school teacher was arrested trying to board a flight while
    in possession of a ruler, a protractor, a setsquare, a slide rule, and
    a calculator.

    At a morning press conference, Attorney General John Ashcroft said he
    believes the man is a member of the notorious al-gebra movement. He is
    being charged by the FBI with carrying weapons of math instruction.

    "Al-gebra is a fearsome cult," Ashcroft said. "They desire average
    solutions by means and extremes, and sometimes go off on tangents in a
    search of absolute value. They use secret code names like "x" and "y"
    and refer to themselves as "unknowns," but we have determined they
    belong to a common denominator of the axis of medieval with
    coordinates in every country.

    As the Greek philanderer Isosceles used to say, there are 3 sides to
    every triangle," Ashcroft declared. When asked to comment on the
    arrest, President Bush said, "If God had wanted us to have better
    weapons of math instruction, He would have given us more fingers and
    toes.

    I am gratified that our government has given us a sine that it is
    intent on protracting us from these math-dogs who are willing to
    disintegrate us with calculus disregard. Murky statisticians love to
    inflict plane on very sphere of influence," the President said,
    adding: "Under the circumferences, we must differentiate their root,
    make our point, and draw the line."

    President Bush warned, "These weapons of math instruction have the
    potential to decimal everything in their math on a scalene never
    before seen unless we become exponents of a Higher Power and begin to
    factor-in random facts of vertex."

    Attorney General Ashcroft said, "As our Great Leader would say, read
    my ellipse. Here is one principle he is uncertainty of: Though they
    continue to multiply, their days are numbered as the hypotenuse
    tightens around their necks.
    I do what I can.

    cpgf: (n.) Acronym describing a significant other who has not yet acheived full spousal status and is in possession of a cable modem; of note because at YOUR house, you still have dial-up -- and crappy dialup at that.


  • #2
    Never before have I seen such a good start degrade into so many puns.
    [volun2]
    NS Game Officer. TF2 Admin. BF2 Admin / Scripter. PM with issues.
    Tempus: Pokerface is nailing it right on the head. Everyone who is arguing against him is simply arguing against reality.
    <anmuzi> it is not permitted to have privacy or anonymity
    <LazyEye> yeah when I play on TG the server digs though my trash

    Arm yourself with knowledge: TG NS TF2 BF2

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    • #3
      Math jokes are funny!

      Comment


      • #4
        ROFLMAO! The article doesn't say what happened to Skylark, though...
        Become a supporting member!
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        TacticalGamer TX LAN/BBQ Veteran:

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        • #5
          Hah! nice.
          [volun]

          Comment


          • #6
            Originally posted by CingularDuality
            ROFLMAO! The article doesn't say what happened to Skylark, though...
            OMFG! I was thinking the same thing! LOL!

            Comment


            • #7
              Skylark, Paging Mr. Skylark.......... :)
              I do what I can.

              cpgf: (n.) Acronym describing a significant other who has not yet acheived full spousal status and is in possession of a cable modem; of note because at YOUR house, you still have dial-up -- and crappy dialup at that.

              Comment

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