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Health Questions and Answers

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  • Health Questions and Answers


    Q: I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life; is this true?

    A: Your heart is only good for so many beats, and that's it... don't waste
    them on exercise. Everything wears out eventually. Speeding up your heart will
    not make you live longer; that's like saying you can extend the life of your
    car by driving it faster. Want to live longer? Take a nap.

    Q: Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables?

    A: You must grasp logistical efficiencies. What does a cow eat? Hay and corn.
    And what are these? Vegetables. So a steak is nothing more than an efficient
    mechanism of delivering vegetables to your system. Need grain? Eat chicken.
    Beef is also a good source of field grass ( green leafy vegetable ). And a
    pork chop can give you 100% of your recommended daily allowance of vegetable
    ______________ _____________________________

    Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake?

    A: No, not at all. Wine is made from fruit. Brandy is distilled wine, that
    means they take the water out of the fruity bit so you get even more of the
    goodness that way. Beer is also made out of grain. Bottoms up !

    Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?

    A: Well, if you have a body and you have fat, your ratio is one to one. If you
    have two bodies, your ratio is two to one, etc.

    Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular exercise

    A: Can't think of a single one, sorry. My philosophy is: No Pain...Good !

    Q: Aren't fried foods bad for you?

    A: YOU'RE NOT LISTENING ! ! ! Foods are fried these days in vegetable oil.
    In fact, they're permeated in it. How could getting more vegetables be bad for

    Q: Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the middle?

    A: Definitely not ! When you exercise a muscle, it gets bigger. You

    should only be doing sit-ups if you want a bigger stomach.

    Q: Is chocolate bad for me?

    A: Are you crazy? HELLO ! Cocoa Beans ! Another vegetable ! ! It's the
    best feel-good food around !

    Q: Is swimming good for your figure?

    A: If swimming is good for your figure, explain whales to me.

    Q: Is getting in-shape important for my lifestyle?

    A: Hey ! 'Round' is a Shape !

    Well, I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had about food
    and diets.

    And remember: "Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of
    arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in
    sideways - beer in one hand - cigar in the other - body thoroughly
    used up, totally worn out, and screaming " WOO HOO, What a Ride ! "
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    TacticalGamer TX LAN/BBQ Veteran:

  • #2
    Re: Health Questions and Answers

    That's in fact a combination of the best and worst thing I've ever seen.




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