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  • Where I've been...

    and other assorted reasons that my life is sucking right now. :) This is a big whiney rant about me, everyone else can feel free to post their problems and we can all whine together about how life sucks. If you don't want to read this long ass post just skip to the end and I'll give you a synopsis.

    So, I joined TG in July. I was living in an apartment with two stupid, but nice, room-mates and going to school at LouisianaTech University. It's not a technical school, but it was when it was founded in 1840. Majoring in finance, and working a variety of jobs including doing AV for the university, and make ready work on an apartment complex. I hated my major, but am good at it. And it pays very very well.

    In August I left that because I ran out of financial aid, with 4 classes left to graduate, and had to come home and work for a little while. My fiance was very supportive though we've been seperated for the past year because she's in grad school at Texas Tech for English and see each other rarely. That would be Emily.

    Ah Emily. :) We met when she was 14 and I was 16 and we had both started college (yeah, a little early) and dated for 6 years. It was a little weird at first, because I fell in love with her literally at first sight, and she thought I was nuts, but it worked well for the two years we were at our early admissions program and then we decided to go to school together. Because she had skipped so much school she didn't have the requisite 3 years of science to get into a public university in Texas (required to attend Uni, but not to graduate) and couldn't afford Baylor even with the small scholarship they gave her. Not that we really wanted to go there, they're a tad strict for us. I got full scholarships to Texas A&M, UT, Baylor, and the Indiana University of Pennsylvania's Robert E. Cook honors college. Emily didn't. Her parents had gone to Louisiana Tech University for 2nd master's degrees and she applied there on a lark basically. Unfortunately, that's the only place she got into and I hadn't even applied. So I rushed to apply, after the financial deadline so I couldn't get scholarships, and we went there. Because her parents went there she paid in-state tuition. I didn't. And I had no financial assistance from the school. So I incurred alot of debt. I also changed my major from history (which I love) to finance so that I could support her because she didn't think I'd make enough as a history major and it was a real problem. She's an English major lol. So I switched, I hated it, but I did well and was going to work in finance so that we could live comfortably and support a family. I gave her a promise ring the beginning of our third year together, and had been secretly buying an engagment ring (to the exact specifications she gave me when we met and talked about it without it being about us--very very expensive) that I was going to give her this anniversary. But--we've called ourselves engaged since the promise ring. So my fiance.

    Sept 13th, two days before Emily's birthday and a month and a half ago, she calls to tell me that a guy she met in Germany while travelling with her parents and their school group (they're professors) is coming to Lubbock because their respective schools are playing. She wants permission to have fun and sleep with the guy. This is a problem we've had for the past 2 years because we met so young and I was the first guy she ever even kissed, she feels like she's missing out. I was a slut, so I don't. But I can understand what she's feeling. So I say, I don't like it, but I understand that you need to. Go ahead and have fun. We're supposed to stay in contact over the weekend so that we can each cope a little bit though, because it's a huge strain. Well, she decides she doesn't want to stay in touch, and I can't reach her the first night when I'm supposed, so I spaz, but there's nothing I can do except hope that she's safe. If I couldn't reach her the next day I'd just call the cops or something (neither of us knew this guy very well though he was a student of her parents) but she got ahold of me so it was ok.

    I told her she wasn't handling the situation very well but that I understand it's stressful and hard and she wants to enjoy it as much as possible (at least the sex was terrible). So he leaves and she calls me Monday afternoon and says she really likes him, blah blah blah, and isn't sure if she wants to get back together (we planned to go to UNT together after our respective graduations). So I get upset naturally. They continue to talk and obviously like each other a lot but even after a lot of talking it out and alot of questions she doesn't want to say we're definately over. Well finally they reach the point where she says that we're really done, a few weeks ago.

    We're trying really hard, well I'm trying really hard, to be friends through all of this. It's very very difficult of course. Yesterday would have been our 5th anniversary, our 6th year together, and he came to stay the weekend with her. He also asked her to actually date him either yesterday or this morning after midnight. That's pretty rough as well. She said yes of course. I'm happy for her on one hand, I care about her a great deal and want her to be happy, on the other hand I'd like to go kick his teeth in (even though it's her fault not his, it's called transference).

    The short end of the story is that I gave my entire life to a girl for 6 years, who in the end said she stayed with me so long for the friendship and good sex, but wasn't really "in love with me". I kind of thought those first two things were constituted a good romantic relationship, more friendship of course but still. And now we're trying to be friends, and she broke up with me less than two months ago. Is now crazy about another guy, and I'm struggling desperately to be happy for her, and they just started dating the day of, or perhaps the day after, when our anniversary was.

    Life really kicks you in the nuts sometimes.

    I don't really need any advice, I've gotten more in the past 2 months than I care to list. :) I know that we should probably just stop talking for awhile, etc. I just wanted to vent where I knew some people on at least a superficial level. If you feel some sort of comraderie and want to post the story of your ex-wife who slept with the neighbor while you were slaving away at the plant to save money for your kid's college-fund feel free.

  • #2
    Re: Where I've been...

    Hopfully we can provide an escape from all thats going on in your life. I can't say that I have ever experienced what you are going through but what I do know is that after a while you will feel less strongly about it. Just try and occupy yourself whith other things and surround yourself with friends.

    Good luck man


    • #3
      Re: Where I've been...

      I had a similar experience though not to that extent. It sucks but you go on and do something better.

      Good luck man.

      - -


      • #4
        Re: Where I've been...

        Hahaha that was a good read.

        But yeah, my reccomendation to you is to bone 60 girls in under a minute. Make up for lost time.

        You might wonder how that's even possible! It only requires a skewed vision of what is defined as "boning."

        For that challenge I wish you luck.


        • #5
          Re: Where I've been...

          I feel like my problems are so minuscule now compared to that. Thanks for the up but sorry for that experience you had. Look at it this way: karma has equal ups and downs... this is obviously a down... a HUGE down... I'm jealous of the HUGE up you are going to get soon.


          • #6
            Re: Where I've been...

            oops, should have put this in the sandbox I guess.

            I'm hoping for karma indeed. :) Thanks guys.


            • #7
              Re: Where I've been...

              People change. I have a friend who went through similar. Got a girl he obsessed over for a good 4+ years to date him in high school. They were together for 5. She canned him in college (although he didn;t plan his degree around her). He took it incredibly bad, but I'd say he's better off for it now.

              He's graduated from college and is travelling the world and making a difference in impoverished communities in North Africa. He has a gazillion friends now, many women friends ;), lots contacts around the world, and has a keen world-view and saavy that he would have never got if he'd just stuck around in small-town Missouri.

              Everyone and their dog has probably told you "time heals." And, well, it does. And WOW LOOK AT THAT A TALKING DOG.
              ~~ Veritas simplex oratio est ~~
              No matter how far a wizard goes, he will always come back for his hat. --T. Pratchett

              <---- You know you're getting old when you rely on your forum meta-data to remind you how old you are.




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