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New Element Found!

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  • New Element Found!

    A major research institution has recently announced the discovery of the
    heaviest element yet known to science. The new element has been named
    *Governmentium*. Governmentium (Gv) has one neutron, 25 assistant neutrons,
    88 deputy neutrons, and 198 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic
    mass of 312.

    These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are
    surrounded by vast quantities of lepton like particles called peons. Since
    Governmentium has no electrons, it is inert. However, it can be detected,
    because it impedes every reaction with which it comes into contact. A minute
    amount of Governmentium causes one reaction to take over four days to
    complete, when it would normally take less than a second.

    Governmentium has a normal half-life of 4 years; it does not decay, but
    instead undergoes a reorganization in which a portion of the assistant
    neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places. In fact, Governmentium's mass
    will actually increase over time, since each reorganization will cause more
    morons to become neutrons, forming isodopes.

    This characteristic of moron promotion leads some scientists to believe that
    Governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a certain quantity in
    concentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred to as Critical Morass.
    When catalyzed with money, Governmentium becomes Administratium - an element
    which radiates just as much energy as Governmentium since it has half as
    many peons but twice as many morons.
    "Umm Deputy these aren't my pants" - Common alarm cry of the North American Crackhead

  • #2
    Re: New Element Found!

    LMAO :icon_lol: . Funny stuff.



    • #3
      Re: New Element Found!

      love it
      ~~ Veritas simplex oratio est ~~
      No matter how far a wizard goes, he will always come back for his hat. --T. Pratchett

      <---- You know you're getting old when you rely on your forum meta-data to remind you how old you are.




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