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Facts about Chuck & Vin & Mr. T

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  • Facts about Chuck & Vin & Mr. T

    http://www.4q.cc/chuck/index.php?topthirty


    One of the greatest cover-ups of the last century was the fact that Hitler did not commit suicide in his bunker, but was in fact tea-bagged to death by Chuck Norris.
    http://www.4q.cc/vin/index.php?topthirty

    Vin Diesel once beat Super Mario Bros 3 without even touching his Nintendo controller. He just yelled at his TV in between bites of his "Filet of Child" sandwich, and the game beat itself out of fear.
    http://www.4q.cc/t/index.php?topthirty

    The vegetarian group PETA one time tried to establish the catchprase "We PETA the fool who eats animals." Upon learning of this blatant theft of his catch phrase, Mr. T founded McDonalds.
    :icon_lol:

    Language warning on the pages..
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  • #2
    Re: Facts about Chuck & Vin & Mr. T

    Chuck Norris ones are offensive but they're hilarious, oh man.

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    • #3
      Re: Facts about Chuck & Vin & Mr. T

      Some of em are offensive, but that's what makes em so great :icon_lol:

      In fine print at on the last page of the Guiness Book of World Records it notes that all world records are held by Vin Diesel, and those listed in the book are simply the closest anyone has ever come to matching him.
      That's just too awesome!
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      • #4
        Re: Facts about Chuck & Vin & Mr. T

        Nice links :D

        Edit: I just read the first line on Mr. T's link and burst into uncontrollable laughter.

        The last time Mr. T went to McDonald's, Ronald McDonald greeted him. What occured next proved to be the most violent beating of a clown ever recorded in human history.

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        • #5
          Re: Facts about Chuck & Vin & Mr. T

          Yeah Faultline that was my favorite one.

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          • #6
            Re: Facts about Chuck & Vin & Mr. T

            Originally posted by Faultline
            Edit: I just read the first line on Mr. T's link and burst into uncontrollable laughter.
            I had that in my first post originally, but decided to put the other one in, and leave that little gem to be found :D
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            • #7
              Re: Facts about Chuck & Vin & Mr. T

              Chuck Norris died ten years ago, but the Grim Reaper can't get up the courage to tell him.

              When Chuck Norris was denied a McGriddle at McDonalds because it was 10:35, He roundhouse kicked the store so hard it became a Wendy's.

              Filming on location for Walker: Texas Ranger, Chuck Norris brought a stillborn baby lamb back to life by giving it a prolonged beard rub. Shortly after the farm animal sprang back to life and a crowd had gathered, Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked the animal, breaking its neck, to remind the crew once more that Chuck giveth, and the good Chuck, he taketh away.

              In Pulp Fiction, the briefcase didn't belong to Marsellus, it belonged to Chuck Norris. Inside was a toothbrush, a peanuts comic, and the playboook of the 1972 Miami Dolphins.

              Chuck won the 1983 world series of poker holding a joker, the 3 of diamonds, a "get out of jail free" card from monopoly, a red 7 from UNO, and a domino.

              This is class stuff :icon_lol:
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              • #8
                Re: Facts about Chuck & Vin & Mr. T

                I guess these get updated frequently. I had a friend print them out and bring them to Thanksgiving and noticed some of them had changed. They were a hit with the family :)

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                • #9
                  Re: Facts about Chuck & Vin & Mr. T

                  If you rearrange the letters in Vin Diesel it reveals his credo: "I End Lives."
                  These things are HILARIOUS :D.
                  _____________________



                  ---

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                  • #10
                    Re: Facts about Chuck & Vin & Mr. T

                    Chuck Norris spelled backwards is "I'm going to roundhouse kick you in your throat". :p

                    Chuck Norris is the only male human to give birth. His only child; Vin Diesel.

                    It's not delivery. It's Chuck Norris.

                    It's only the top 30 facts on the pages I linked, there's tons more in the rating system :D
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                    • #11
                      Re: Facts about Chuck & Vin & Mr. T

                      Heard this on Rush this morning and couldn't stop laughing. So, in the spirit of Chuckie & Vin & Mr. T, here's a list of random facts about Jack Bauer (disclaimer: if any kittens were hurt in the process of posting this, I pre-apologize):

                      link: http://www.astrochimp.com/2006/01/18...outjack-bauer/


                      1. If you wake up in the morning, it’s because Jack Bauer spared your life.

                      2. Upon hearing that he was played by Kiefer Sutherland, Jack Bauer killed Sutherland. Jack Bauer gets played by no man.

                      3. If Jack Bauer was in a room with Hitler, Stalin, and Nina Meyers, and he had a gun with 2 bullets, he’d shoot Nina twice.

                      4. Jack Bauer killed 93 people in just 4 days time. Wait, that is a real fact.

                      5. Jack Bauer got Hellen Keller to talk.

                      6. Jack Bauer was never addicted to heroin. Heroin was addicted to Jack Bauer.

                      7. Jack Bauer’s favorite color is severe terror alert red. His second favorite color is violet, but just because it sounds like violent.

                      8. 1.6 billion Chinese are angry with Jack Bauer. Sounds like a fair fight.

                      9. If Jack says “I just want to talk to him/her” and that him/her is you… well amigo, you’re ****ed.

                      10. Jack Bauer once forgot where he put his keys. He then spent the next half-hour torturing himself until he gave up the location of the keys.

                      11. Jack Bauer doesn’t miss. If he didn’t hit you it’s because he was shooting at another terrorist twelve miles away.

                      12. If you get 7 stars on your wanted level on Grand Theft Auto, Jack Bauer comes after you. You don’t want to get 7 stars.

                      13. When you open a can of whoop-ass, Jack Bauer jumps out.

                      14. Jack Bauer does not sleep. The only rest he needs is what he gets when he’s knocked out or temporarily killed.

                      15. If you are still conscious, it is because Jack Bauer doesn’t want to carry you.

                      16. Jack Bauer has no problem following orders, unless you tell him to do something he doesn’t want to.

                      17.Jack Bauer’s gun is actually a water pistol, but the water shoots out in the form of bullets. Why? Because the gun is being held by Jack ****ing Bauer.

                      18. Lets get one thing straight, the only reason you are conscious right now is because Jack Bauer does not feel like carrying you.

                      19. As a child, Jack Bauer’s first words were “There’s no time!”

                      20. While being ‘put under’ in the hospital, Jack Bauer can count backwards from 100 every time. This annoys the doctors.

                      21. Jack Bauer can watch all 4 seasons of 24 in 24 hours.

                      22. Jack Bauer literally died for his country, and lived to tell about it.

                      23. Jack Bauer’s family threw him a surprise birthday party when he was a child. Once.

                      24. Killing Jack Bauer doesn’t make him dead. It just makes him angry.

                      25. Everytime Jack Bauer yells “NOW!” at the end of a sentence, a terrorist dies.

                      26. If Jack’s starring at someone and his eye twitches, assume that person has less than 15 minutes to live.

                      27. When life gave Jack Bauer lemons, he used them to kill terrorists. Jack Bauer ****ing hates lemonade.

                      28. Guns dont kill people, Jack Bauer kills people.

                      29. David Spade always says ‘yes’ to Jack Bauer when he wants to redeem his credit card miles.

                      30. Don’t ask what Jack Bauer would do for a Klondike bar…
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                      • #12
                        Re: Facts about Chuck & Vin & Mr. T

                        "The reason newborn babies cry is because they know they have just entered a world with Chuck Norris. "

                        "Rosa Parks refused to get out of her seat because she was saving it for Chuck Norris. "

                        http://www.chucknorrisfactoids.com/
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                        • #13
                          Re: Facts about Chuck & Vin & Mr. T

                          "gnurrrr"

                          Mike: "Oh, God!"

                          Nick: "Huh? Wha? Who?"

                          "gnnnURRR"

                          Mike: "It's a--ARRrrr"

                          *spin* *woosh* *thud* *sploosh* *splat*

                          "GRRRrwrwrnnrrrr"

                          Nick: "OH, JESUS! A zombie thread about Vin Diesel and Chu--arrrgh!"

                          "GNNURRRRR"
                          ~~ Veritas simplex oratio est ~~
                          No matter how far a wizard goes, he will always come back for his hat. --T. Pratchett

                          <---- You know you're getting old when you rely on your forum meta-data to remind you how old you are.

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