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  • Colonoscopy humor

    Got this joke in my mailbox the other day. Found it quite humorous.....

    Colonoscopy humor

    Comments by patients during Colonoscopies are no joke, but these
    comments during the exam were quite humorous..... A physician
    claimed that the following are actual comments made by his patients
    (predominately male) while he was performing their colonoscopies:

    1. "Take it easy, Doc. You're boldly going where no man has gone before!

    2. "Find Amelia Earhart yet?"

    3. "Can you hear me NOW?"

    4. "Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet?"

    5. "You know, in Arkansas, we're now legally married."

    6. "Any sign of the trapped miners, Chief?"

    7. "You put your left hand in, you take your left hand out..."

    8. "Hey! Now I know how a Muppet feels!"

    9. "If your hand doesn't fit, you must quit!

    10. "Hey Doc, let me know if you find my dignity."

    11. "You used to be an auditor at the IRS, didn't you?"

    12. "God, now I know why I am not gay."

    And the best one of all...

    13. "Could you write a note for my wife saying that my head
    is not up there?"
    --
    VI VI VI - the number of the beast

  • #2
    Re: Colonoscopy humor

    Booo! Sssss.

    :D
    ~~ Veritas simplex oratio est ~~
    No matter how far a wizard goes, he will always come back for his hat. --T. Pratchett

    <---- You know you're getting old when you rely on your forum meta-data to remind you how old you are.

    Comment


    • #3
      Re: Colonoscopy humor

      Yeah, there is nothing funny about having a car going the wrong way on your one way street! ;)

      Comment


      • #4
        Re: Colonoscopy humor

        I try to do my best Zapp Branigan impression. "Perhaps a little spanking is in order?"

        Comment


        • #5
          Re: Colonoscopy humor

          The best one: 13. "Could you write a note for my wife saying that my head
          is not up there?"


          18th SF Operational Detachment Delta

          Comment


          • #6
            Re: Colonoscopy humor

            I enjoyed numbers 3 and 10.

            [drill][medic][conduct][tg-c1][tpf-c1]
            [ma-c2][taw-c1]

            Principles of good Sandbox Etiquette:
            Assume good faith - Be polite, please! - Work toward agreement. - Argue facts, not personalities. - Concede a point when you have no response to it, or admit when you disagree based on intuition or taste. - Be civil. - Be prepared to apologize. In animated discussions, we often say things we later wish we hadn't. Say so. - Forgive and forget. - Recognize your own biases and keep them in check. - Give praise when due.

            Treat others as you would have them treat you

            Comment


            • #7
              Re: Colonoscopy humor

              Originally posted by Diceman
              I enjoyed numbers 3 and 10.
              But, I hope not TOO much... :icon_lol:

              Comment


              • #8
                Re: Colonoscopy humor

                Heh heh. Yes, I enjoyed them THAT much!

                :D

                [drill][medic][conduct][tg-c1][tpf-c1]
                [ma-c2][taw-c1]

                Principles of good Sandbox Etiquette:
                Assume good faith - Be polite, please! - Work toward agreement. - Argue facts, not personalities. - Concede a point when you have no response to it, or admit when you disagree based on intuition or taste. - Be civil. - Be prepared to apologize. In animated discussions, we often say things we later wish we hadn't. Say so. - Forgive and forget. - Recognize your own biases and keep them in check. - Give praise when due.

                Treat others as you would have them treat you

                Comment


                • #9
                  Re: Colonoscopy humor

                  As long as you didn't have a smoke with the doc after.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Re: Colonoscopy humor

                    Pardon the thread necromancy, but I figured this would be a good place to put this.

                    [media]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jsVgi8hoFFc[/media]

                    Thing is, a lot of us are getting up to that age where we need to worry about these things, and not talking about it can kill you. (In another thread, we're worrying about the surgical results of a TG member faced with colon cancer.)

                    So I was looking around for useful links and found these:

                    A device invented to help older folks hold the paper when our fingers are failing from arthritis:

                    http://wipeassist.com/

                    The European way of dealing with the problem:

                    http://www.cleanbutt.com/
                    Dude, seriously, WHAT handkerchief?

                    snooggums' density principal: "The more dense a population, the more dense a population."

                    Iliana: "You're a great friend but if we're ever chased by zombies I'm tripping you."

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Re: Colonoscopy humor

                      http://www.fleetattorney.net/news/20...colonoscopies/



                      Some great stuff here:

                      http://www.examiner.com/x-2696-Sacra...-with-laughter

                      If you've ever had one of these, you'll appreciate just how accurate this description of the prep is:

                      [media]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BBMsPNI6EZE[/media]

                      (BTW, one would hope the thread title would be a clue, but you probably don't want the sound from that video heard playing from your cubicle. Ie. NSFW!)
                      Dude, seriously, WHAT handkerchief?

                      snooggums' density principal: "The more dense a population, the more dense a population."

                      Iliana: "You're a great friend but if we're ever chased by zombies I'm tripping you."

                      Comment

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