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Excerpts from a Dog's Daily Diary

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  • Excerpts from a Dog's Daily Diary

    8:00 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
    9:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE!
    9:40 am - OH BOY! A WALK! MY FAVORITE!
    10:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE!
    11:30 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
    12:00 pm - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE!
    1:00 pm - OH BOY! THE YARD! MY FAVORITE!
    4:00 pm - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE!
    5:00 pm - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
    5:30 pm - OH BOY! MOM! MY FAVORITE!
    6:00 pm - OH BOY! PLAYING BALL! MY FAVORITE!
    6:30 pm - OH BOY! SLEEPING IN MY PEOPLES BED!
    *****************
    EXCERPTS FROM A CAT'S DAILY DIARY
    Day 183
    My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat dry cereal. The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape, and the mild satisfaction I get from ruining the occasional piece of furniture. Tomorrow I may eat another houseplant. Today my attempt to kill my captors by weaving around their feet while they were walking almost succeeded, must try this at the top of the stairs. In an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile oppressors, I once again induced myself to vomit on their favorite chair, must try this on their bed.

    Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body, in attempt to make them aware of what I am capable of, and to try to strike fear into their hearts. They only cooed and condescended about what a good little cat I was. Hmmm, not working according to plan.
    There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices. I was placed in solitary throughout the event. However, I could hear the noise and smell the food. More importantly I overheard that my confinement was due to MY power of "allergies." Must learn what this is and how to use it to my advantage.

    I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and maybe snitches. The dog is routinely released and seems more than happy to return. He is obviously a half-wit. The bird on the other hand has got to be an informant, and speaks with them regularly. I am certain he reports my every move. Due to his current placement in the metal room, his safety is assured. But I can wait. It is only a matter of time!
    I do what I can.

    cpgf: (n.) Acronym describing a significant other who has not yet acheived full spousal status and is in possession of a cable modem; of note because at YOUR house, you still have dial-up -- and crappy dialup at that.


  • #2
    Re: Excerpts from a Dog's Daily Diary

    LOL

    this is so much funnier when you're drunk

    LOL

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    • #3
      Re: Excerpts from a Dog's Daily Diary

      man, this made me laf. I had to send it to some cat/dog loving friends of mine.

      Did you write this or find it? In any case, nice 1.
      --
      CaveDog
      "Go sell crazy somewhere else... we're all stocked up here."

      Comment


      • #4
        Re: Excerpts from a Dog's Daily Diary

        That was great! And so true... :D

        3) Support game play in a near-simulation environment. Where the focus of play would not be solely on doing what it takes to win, but doing so utilizing real-world combat strategy and tactics rather than leveraging exploits provided to players by the design of the game engine.

        Comment


        • #5
          Re: Excerpts from a Dog's Daily Diary

          I cannot take credit for this. My sister-in-law sent it to me.
          She's sent several of the items I've posted here.

          I just like to share. :icon7:
          I do what I can.

          cpgf: (n.) Acronym describing a significant other who has not yet acheived full spousal status and is in possession of a cable modem; of note because at YOUR house, you still have dial-up -- and crappy dialup at that.

          Comment


          • #6
            Re: Excerpts from a Dog's Daily Diary

            The copy I got a few months ago had an extra line somewhere in the midafternoon:

            oh a bath. bummer.

            Comment

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