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  • I Want Illegal Alien Status

    Seen on The Gun Broker.com:

    Originally posted by Pete McGlaughlin
    [br]Don't know if it's true but a good read.


    A Maryland resident petitions his senator

    June 7, 2006

    The Honorable Paul S. Sarbanes
    309 Hart Senate Office Building
    Washington DC 20510

    Dear Senator Sarbanes:

    As a native Marylander and excellent customer of the Internal Revenue Service, I am writing to ask for your assistance. I have contacted the Immigration and Naturalization Service in an effort to determine the process for becoming an illegal alien and they referred me to you.

    My reasons for wishing to change my status from U.S. Citizen to illegal alien stem from the bill which was recently passed by the Senate and for which you voted. If my understanding of this bill's pro visions is accurate, as an illegal alien who has been in the United States for five years, what I need to do to become a citizen is to pay a $2,000 fine and income taxes for three of the last five years.

    I know a good deal when I see one and I am anxious to get the process started before everyone figures it out. Simply put, those of us who have been here legally have had to pay taxes every year so I'm excited about the prospect of avoiding two years of taxes in return for paying a $2,000 fine. Is there any way that I can apply to be illegal retroactively? This would yield an excellent result for me and my family because we paid heavy taxes in 2004 and 2005.

    Another benefit in gaining illegal status would be that my daughter would receive preferential treatment relative to her law school applications.

    If you would provide me with an outline of the process to become illeg al (retroactively if possible) and copies of the necessary forms, I would be most appreciative. Thank you for your assistance.

    Your Loyal Constituent,
    Pete McGlaughlin
    Sounds damn good to me.
    ~~ Veritas simplex oratio est ~~
    No matter how far a wizard goes, he will always come back for his hat. --T. Pratchett

    <---- You know you're getting old when you rely on your forum meta-data to remind you how old you are.


  • #2
    Re: I Want Illegal Alien Status

    My eyes are rolled so far back that I can see my brain.

    Comment


    • #3
      Re: I Want Illegal Alien Status

      I especially like that you can keep social security benefits "earned" under stolen social security numbers.
      ---
      Sources say the Dow Jones' decline is directly related to Dethklok front-man Nathan Explosion's constant deleting of potential new albums.

      Comment


      • #4
        Re: I Want Illegal Alien Status

        Don't forget in-state tuition in many states. Damn good deal.
        New to TG?

        Comment


        • #5
          Re: I Want Illegal Alien Status

          Wouldn't you just need to renounce your US citizenship?

          [drill][medic][conduct][tg-c1][tpf-c1]
          [ma-c2][taw-c1]

          Principles of good Sandbox Etiquette:
          Assume good faith - Be polite, please! - Work toward agreement. - Argue facts, not personalities. - Concede a point when you have no response to it, or admit when you disagree based on intuition or taste. - Be civil. - Be prepared to apologize. In animated discussions, we often say things we later wish we hadn't. Say so. - Forgive and forget. - Recognize your own biases and keep them in check. - Give praise when due.

          Treat others as you would have them treat you

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          • #6
            Re: I Want Illegal Alien Status

            Yep, just gotta drive to the American embassy or a consulate in Canada and sign a paper. Of course, renouncing his citizenship wouldn't relieve him of his obligations to the IRS. Only two things in life are certain - death and taxes ;)

            Commit a crime and get himself deported back to the US in a non-citizen status. Badda boom, badda bing. I can see the crime rates in Canada going up already :p
            Battlefield Admin() ()
            [volun2][medic][defense3][eng2][support]
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            • #7
              Re: I Want Illegal Alien Status

              Another benefit in gaining illegal status would be that my daughter would receive preferential treatment relative to her law school applications.
              How cute, a letter from a bigot.
              In game handle: Steel Scion
              sigpic

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              • #8
                Re: I Want Illegal Alien Status

                Wow, didn't know wanting equality made him a bigot.

                Comment


                • #9
                  Re: I Want Illegal Alien Status

                  Originally posted by Greflin
                  Wow, didn't know wanting equality made him a bigot.
                  You clearly are not up to date with our new and improved definition of "bigot". :p

                  Bigot -- noun

                  1. A white male republican, esp. if Christian
                  2. Any law-abiding citizen opposed to illegal immigration

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Re: I Want Illegal Alien Status

                    Originally posted by Steeler View Post
                    How cute, a letter from a bigot.
                    Actually, the school is practicing bigotry by giving preferential treatment based on race. Unless you're saying that he is a bigot because he assumes all illegals are of a minority race. Many states do give in-state tuition to illegals that they do not give to US citizens who are not residents of that state no matter their race. I'd call that bigot free preferential treatment and the letter writer nailed it.
                    Last edited by USN_Squid; 08-12-2006, 02:07 AM. Reason: afterthoughts ftw
                    New to TG?

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Re: I Want Illegal Alien Status

                      If being prejudiced against people who break the law makes a person a bigot, then I qualify and I'm not ashamed of it.


                      The time for calm and rational discussion has passed. Now is the time for senseless bickering.

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Re: I Want Illegal Alien Status

                        Law school? He's worried that illegal immigrants are getting preferential treatment getting into law school? A. Find me a college, any college, that when given the choice between a student who is a US citizen, and one who is a verifiable illegal (no green card, no visa, no student permit, etc.), they would intentionally set aside a slot for the illegal on that basis alone. B. Find me a LAW SCHOOL that would do that.

                        He is a bigot because he falsely feels persecuted by people who are different than him. And his comment on his daughter's application smacks of ignorance. The rest of that letter has some merit, but that one line is indicative of a much deeper and ugly complaint.
                        In game handle: Steel Scion
                        sigpic

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Re: I Want Illegal Alien Status

                          Whether or not illegals use more in government services than they pay into the system is debatable. The fact that American citizens have driven the national debt further into the red than the creator of Time Square's national debt clock could have imagined, however, is not debatable. Therefore, it is quite possible - perhaps even likely - that illegal aliens are smaller per capita financial burdens than us good 'ol citizens.

                          Haha, we should of course recall that many illegal immigrants, using false social security cards, pay income tax (through witholding) but do not receive their tax refunds and thereby pay more in taxes than legal citizens. Not to mention that they're only in the 15% federal bracket in the first place. Presumably. I won't recreate the whole debate here, that's what the links I posted above are for, but perhaps the author of the letter would like to pay full income tax but not receive any refunds or deductions? To live in fear that he could be deported and seperated from wife and family?
                          Last edited by Nikolas; 08-12-2006, 11:04 AM.
                          A policy of freedom for the individual is the only truly progressive policy. -F.A. Hayek

                          "$250,000 a year won't get me to Central Park West."

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                          • #14
                            Re: I Want Illegal Alien Status

                            http://www.internationalreporter.com...ad.php?id=1712

                            Mexican parents extend their stay long enough to take advantage of US health system. According to http://www.usatoday.com/news/health/...ed-twins_x.htm

                            Childrens Hospital declined to reveal the operation's cost, which will be covered by a state health program.
                            Estimates placed it well over the million dollar mark. I agree that this has been argued over and over again. We see different sides of this.

                            Lucky Shot

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                            • #15
                              Re: I Want Illegal Alien Status

                              I'm not arguing this from a financial point of view. I simply want people to obey the laws. You don't like the immigration laws? Work to get them changed. In the meantime they should be enforced--and yes, that most certainly includes the laws against employeers hiring illegal aliens.


                              The time for calm and rational discussion has passed. Now is the time for senseless bickering.

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