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Best goodbye letter ever

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  • Best goodbye letter ever

    A father passing his son's bedroom was astonished to see the bed was nicely made, and everything was picked up. Then, he saw an envelope propped up prominently on the pillow. It was addressed, "Dad".
    With the worst premonition, he opened the envelope and read the letter with trembling hands.


    Dear Dad,

    It is with great regret and sorrow that i'm writing you. I had to elope with my new girlfriend, because I wanted to avoid a scene with Mom and you.

    I've been finding real passion with Debbie, and she is so nice, but I knew you would not approve of her, because of her piercings,tattoos, her tight motorcycle clothes and because she is so much older then I am.
    But, It's not the passion Dad! She's Pregnant!
    Debbie said that we will be very happy. She owns a trailer in the woods and has a stack of firewood for the whole winter.

    We share a dream of having many more children. Debbie has opened my eyes to the fact that marijuana does'nt really hurt anyone. We'll be growing it for ourselves and trading it with the other people in the commune, for all the cocaine and ecstasy we want.
    In the meantime we'll pray that science will find a cure for AIDS, so Debbie can get better.
    She sure deserves it!

    Don't worry Dad, I'm 15 and I know how to take care of myself.

    Someday I'm sure we'll be back to visit, so you can get to know your grandchildren.


    Love, your son

    John



    P.S. Dad, None of the above is true. I'm over at Tommy's house. I just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life then the report card thats in my center desk drawer. I love you!
    Call when it's safe for me to come home.
    :D



    TacticalGamer TX LAN/BBQ Veteran

  • #2
    Re: Best goodbye letter ever

    ROFL :D :D :D

    Thats hilarious!!! I might have to pull that one if things don't go right this year in school.

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    • #3
      Re: Best goodbye letter ever

      Lol, awesome
      |TG| Lorian
      Member since 18th February 2006

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      • #4
        Re: Best goodbye letter ever

        That is funny.
        A policy of freedom for the individual is the only truly progressive policy. -F.A. Hayek

        "$250,000 a year won't get me to Central Park West."

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        • #5
          Re: Best goodbye letter ever

          So is he running away with Tommy?...I dont get it. ;)
          "Dirtboy is super awesome, and chicks dig him too!"- Everyone



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          • #6
            Re: Best goodbye letter ever

            LOL, that's great.
            Like the server? Become a regular! TGNS Required Reading
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            • #7
              Re: Best goodbye letter ever

              ROFL. My Dad would kick my @$$ for pulling something like that! That's too good!
              |TG-33rd|Clawhammer
              [squadl] [sniper][unit]


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              • #8
                Re: Best goodbye letter ever

                LOL, someone need to try this one out... :)
                ~~ Veritas simplex oratio est ~~
                No matter how far a wizard goes, he will always come back for his hat. --T. Pratchett

                <---- You know you're getting old when you rely on your forum meta-data to remind you how old you are.

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                • #9
                  Re: Best goodbye letter ever

                  I would love to see a report of how well it goes over in rl. Poorly, would be my guess.

                  here's how my father would have read that, summing up:

                  Dear Dad,

                  I have screwed up in school and am now over at my buddy's house goofing off rather than face the music. Allow me to piss you off even more by joking about my underperformance, and by lecturing you about what is and is not important in life. hahaha!

                  As if that weren't enough, let me give you a chore: call me when I can return without fear of consequence. It may be a while though, because I'm probably getting high and will need to sober up first and get the smell out of my clothes. I'll be chewing gun and smelling like air freshener when I come home. Thanks for all the stuff. Keep it coming, dude!

                  Your lazy smartassed bastard of a son.

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                  • #10
                    Re: Best goodbye letter ever

                    While ive never pulled something like that off, making my parents laugh before i give them bad news always works wonders. If i get bad grades this year ill try this one out, but i dont exactly plan to.

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                    • #11
                      Re: Best goodbye letter ever

                      Originally posted by leejo View Post
                      I would love to see a report of how well it goes over in rl. Poorly, would be my guess.

                      here's how my father would have read that, summing up:


                      yep exactly how my dad would have read it. But mine would have been followed up with either and obituary in the paper the next day or my dad calling the cops and having me arrested for something made up because he knows all the cops in the county.

                      I wonder what a Husband/wife letter would be like?
                      that sounds like a good idea trooper.
                      -Vulcan

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                      • #12
                        Re: Best goodbye letter ever


                        As if that weren't enough, let me give you a chore: call me when I can return without fear of consequence. It may be a while though, because I'm probably getting high and will need to sober up first and get the smell out of my clothes. I'll be chewing gun and smelling like air freshener when I come home. Thanks for all the stuff. Keep it coming, dude!

                        Your lazy smartassed bastard of a son.
                        lol, that's comedy gold right there.
                        Like the server? Become a regular! TGNS Required Reading
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                        • #13
                          Re: Best goodbye letter ever

                          very nice. Very funny.

                          All smiles,

                          Rick.
                          (PO3) Marcinko_R. (BF2 PR .509) Squad Member
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                          • #14
                            Re: Best goodbye letter ever

                            I tried something like that once. It didn't end well.

                            [conduct][volun][drill][sg-c1][tpf-c1]
                            |TG-2nd|munchkin
                            Nec aspera terrent.

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