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3 Joke 1 Whole Laugh

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  • 3 Joke 1 Whole Laugh

    Snow White and the Dwarves were all sitting in the bath tub, feeling happy.

    So Happy got out.


    Dear Husband:

    I'm writing you this letter to tell you that I'm leaving you for good. I've been a good woman to you for seven years and I have nothing to show for it. These last two weeks have been hell. Your boss called to tell me that you had quit your job today and that was the last straw. Last week, you came home and didn't notice that I had gotten my hair and nails done, cooked your favorite meal and even wore a brand new negligee. You came home and ate in two minutes, and went straight to sleep after watching the game. You don't tell me you love me anymore,
    you don't touch me or anything. You?re cheating or you don't love me anymore, what ever the case is, I'm gone.

    P.S. If you're trying to find me, don't. Your BROTHER and I are moving away to West Virginia together! Have a great life!

    Your EX-Wife

    Dear Ex-Wife:

    Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter. It's true that you and I have been married for seven years, although a good woman is a far cry from what you've been. I watch sports so much to try to drown out your constant nagging. Too bad that doesn't work. I did notice when you cut off all of your hair last week, the first thing that came to mind was "You look just like a man!" My mother raised me to not say anything if you can't say anything nice. When you cooked my favorite
    meal, you must have gotten me confused with MY BROTHER, because I stopped eating pork seven years ago. I went to sleep on you when you had on that new negligee because the price tag was still on it. I prayed that it was a coincidence that my brother had just borrowed fifty dollars from me that morning and your negligee was $49.99. After all of this, I still loved you and felt that we could work it out. So when I discovered that I had hit the lotto for ten million dollars, I quit my job and bought us two tickets to Jamaica. But when I got home you were gone. Everything happens for a reason I guess. I hope you have the filling life you always wanted. My lawyer said with your letter that you wrote, you won't get a dime from me. So take care.

    P.S. I don't know if I ever told you this but Carl, my brother was born Carla. I hope that's not a problem.

    Rich as Hell and Free


    Pirate Pickup Lines. (Use them if you would like to)

    10 . Avast, me proud beauty! Wanna know why my Roger is so Jolly?

    9. Have ya ever met a man with a real yardarm?

    8. Come on up and see me urchins.

    7. Yes, that is a hornpipe in my pocket and I am happy to see you.

    6. I'd love to drop anchor in your lagoon.

    5. Pardon me, but would ya mind if fired me cannon through your porthole?

    4. How'd you like to scrape the barnacles off of me rudder?

    3. Ya know, darlin?, I?m 97 percent chum free.

    2. Well blow me down?

    1. Prepare to be boarded.

    (OMG I got in trouble from my teacher cause I laughed to loud when I posted this)

    Now Laugh Damn You !

  • #2
    Re: 3 Joke 1 Whole Laugh

    LOL! There, i did really like the pirate ones.




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